The Vault at Barclay’s Center is 11 Jay-Z “Inspired” Luxury Suites–with Big, Heavy Forks

brooksignal just tipped us off to The Vault at Barclays Center, a set of 11 Jay-Z “inspired” premium event-level suites just introduced today.

So what exactly does “Jay-Z inspired” mean? The rapper seems to have an outsized influence, despite owning only a minuscule portion of the Brooklyn-bound New Jersey Nets.

For just $550,000 per year (3 years minimum), you get “celebrity treatment” concierge service, 8 premium tickets (first 10 rows) to every event at Barclays Center, and access to the Armand de Brignac Champagne Bar, a 2,400-square-foot common space. ”Looks nice,” says whynot_31. “I think every taxpayer should get the use of one for a night.”

There’s one other perk you will get for your $1.65 million investment: heavy forks.

In a meeting with Vault architect Chris Sharples, Jay-Z sat on the edge of a huge oak desk and stressed the importance of substantial flatware: “Forks need to be heavy … A plastic fork? Please. Even stainless steel was out of the question,” writes Scott Cacciola in the Wall Street Journal.

“It’s such an impossibly perfect parody of ‘New Jay-Z’ that it can’t possibly be real,” Andrew Sharp writes on SB Nation.