The worst job for you — Brooklynian

The worst job for you

As a result of reading this silly message board for 4 years, it seems many of us are either:

Unemployed and looking for work

Employed but looking for a different job

Fabulously wealthy

I have created this thread to discuss the tribulations of the job search process. Specifically, I would like posters to post job real openings that they come across, that are incredibly bad fits for them.

One can explain why a job would be a bad fit, but this is completely optional.
I will begin.

Note: the jobs I would like you to post are no necessarily bad, just bad for you. Persons who believe that employed persons should be thankful for whatever job they have and should not be looking for better employment are hereby told "You are right, we completely agree with you", so they will stay on topic.

It would be excellent if this thread resulted in a fellow poster getting a job that was posted as a bad fit by a different poster.
Discuss.

Comments

  • Cheerleading/Dance Instructor

    Education: High school
    Location: Rego Park, New York, 11374, United States
    Posted by: Queens Community House

    Job Category: Direct social services
    Sector: Nonprofit
    Language(s): English
    Job posted on: September 13, 2010
    Area of Focus: Children and Youth, Sports, Recreation, and Leisure
    Type: Part time
    Salary: $18 per hour
    Last day to apply: September 27, 2010
    Last updated: September 13, 2010



    Description:
    Qualifications:
    •At least one year of college
    •At least two years of experience teaching dance and cheerleading to youth
    •Ability to be flexible
    •Effective group management and communication skills
    •Ability to motivate participants to participate in activities
    •Strong work ethic and professional demeanor


    Responsibilities include:
    •Conducting age appropriate dance and cheerleading instruction
    •Choreographing routines for various showcases throughout the school year
    •Effectively engage and motivate participants
    •Work as a team with the group leader
    •Assist with homework help
    •Be a good role model
    •Participate in staff meetings and trainings

    Additional Qualifications:
    Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays
    2:30pm-5:30pm
    How to Apply:
    Respond to Ldavis@qchnyc.org
  • Entertainment Agency Seeking Male Rock Singer (Midtown)

    "Entertainment agency looking for male rock singer who can sing covers by Guns n Roses, Bon Jovi, Journey, and Aerosmith. Paid gigs. Please send photo and song list of memorized repertoire to castingnystar@gmail.com. Please include myspace or website if you have one."
  • Well let me know if you come across some evening or weekend secretarial work.
  • Moogar, Don't stop Believin'!


    Just an important tip, for when you find that job:

    image
  • Pinkberry is Hiring The Best of The Best for Team Members, Bicycle Delivery Runners & Fruit Cutters for ALL Pinkberry Locations.

    Requirements for Delivery Runners:

    * Previous delivery experience

    Requirements for Fruit Cutters:

    * At least 1 year of Culinary skill
    * Fluent in English
  • This would be a pretty bad fit for me as well:

    Female Body Double 5'7

    Looking for a female body double, can have blonde, brunette, red hair-age range 27-40, ht 5'7-5'.5-weight 135-137, bust 36-(bra 34b/c) natural no implants.waist 27.7-28, high hip 35 ( 4' from waist) low hip 38.5-39-thigh 22-
    please do not answer this add if you are not this-

    headshot & resume:
    130 west 29th street # 1003
    NYC 10001
    attn: Body double
  • You guys! To be a fruit cutter at Pinkberry, you need a whole year's worth experience cutting stuff!
  • whynot has a lot of experience cutting stuff....
  • The cheese, for example.
  • but not shit.

    I never cut "the shit".

    A job in which I have to "Cut the shit" may be the worst fit for me.
  • Sadly my name is not Betty
    Seeking bodyguard named Betty
    Date: 2010-06-21, 1:33AM EDT

    I am a Paul Simon fan in my mid thirties. As my name is Al, for the past 20 years I've been searching for a friend named Betty with whom I could sing the Paul Simon song "You Can Call Me Al." Imagine how much fun we could have singing along with the lyrics and pointing at each other when our names are mentioned! We could sing it together on road trips with the windows down, at home with our stereos cracked loud, we can smile at each other knowingly when it's played in gas stations and grocery stores and text each other when we're apart and it comes on the radio. I'm especially looking forward to acting out our own version of the classic Paul Simon Chevy Chase music video. We can post it on Youtube!

    Just to be clear, I'm not really looking for a bodyguard (that's a lyric from the song haha!) just a friend named Betty.

    If you want we could maybe sing other Paul Simon songs at some point but I'd really rather we stick with our namesakes You Can Call Me Al. Of course I want proof your name is really Betty so when we meet I'll need to see a state issued photo ID with that name. I'll also accept Elizabeth, Roberta or Beatrix.

    Please write back soon I can't wait to hang out
    Sincerely
    -Your long lost pal!!!
  • Me+fashion=lol I temped in a clothing fashion design group and have never felt so out of place in my sneakers.

    EF International Language School and EF International Academy are currently searching for qualified, experienced, and dynamic Fashion instructors for our specialized Fashion and Design program on campus here in Tarrytown, New York.

    A good candidate is a demanding, organized and cretive teacher with vast experience in the fashion industry, and has experience teaching in an international atmosphere.

    If interested please send you resume and cover letter.

    Please email efnyjobs@gmail.com, please put "MEFD" in the subject line.

    Interviewing to begin immediately.
  • I'm interested in the "telecommuting is OK" aspect of this oportunidad. Normally jobs in seguridad y limpieza mantenimiento require you to actually be there in person. ...

    OPORTUNIDAD DE TRABAJO INMEDIATO, SEGURIDAD Y LIMPIEZA,MANTENIMIENTO,C (NY. NJ)
    Date: 2010-10-31, 10:30PM EDT
    Reply to: AGonzalezrescueone@yahoo.com [Errors when replying to ads?]


    OPORTUNIDAD DE TRABAJO INMEDIATO, SEGURIDAD Y LIMPIEZA,MANTENIMIENTO,CONDUTOR,AEROPUERTOS
    Contacta via Email o Llamar
    42 Posiciones disponibles Si Califica
    Agencia de Empleo Busca Personal Para Trabajar
    EN MANTENIMIENTO, LIMPIEZA, Y SEGURIDA.
    NO High School Diploma. OK
    NO Experiencia Nesesaria. OK
    Permiso de Trabajo. OK
    Documentos para trabajar U.S.A
    TRABAJO GARANTISADO
    Leader in Job Placement Services NY
    Llamar para una Entrevista
    Mr:Gonzalez
    Horario de Llamar: 10am-7pm.
    347-444-3371
    o Dejar su # al Email :AGonzalezrescueone@yahoo.com
    como. Llegar. tren 2,3,4,5 hasta estacion Wall st
    Rescue One Security and Investigations Services Inc. 40 Exchange Place, New York 8th Floor
    Licensed By the Department of Criminal Defense
    Preguntar Por :Mr Gonzalez



    * Location: NY. NJ
    * Telecommuting is ok.
    * This is a contract job.
    * OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
    * Phone calls about this job are ok.
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



    PostingID: 2035784994
  • I've bolded the parts that indicate they are likely seeking someone more touchy feely than me. However, I do encourage those who may be a good fit to apply.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    People & Systems is assisting the Garrison Institute (set on a scenic 90 acre property north of New York City) with their search for a Program Director (Ecology) to lead their Transformational Ecology Initiative.

    MISSION:
    The Garrison Institute is a not-for-profit, non-sectarian organization exploring the intersection of contemplation and engaged action in the world. The mission of the Institute is to apply the transformative power of contemplation to today's pressing social and environmental concerns, helping build a more compassionate, resilient future.

    OPPORTUNITY:
    Do you have a passion for /expertise in environment/ecological issues? Are you an operational/programmatic generalist seeking an opportunity to work with some of the greatest thinkers of our time? The Garrison Institute, a non-profit think tank and convening center for thought leaders in the fields of environment, education, and trauma support is seeking a Program Director to lead their Transformational Ecology Initiative.

    Working with a dynamic and well respected Executive Director, you will expand the knowledge base of the initiative including the tracking of emerging neurological and behavioral sciences that relate to environmental decision-making. You will also develop new applied programs, plan annual conferences and write funding proposals. Your ability to build relationships with other institutions and university centers as well as harness technology/organizational tools to manage the day to day operations of this rapidly expanding program will be critical to your success.

    QUALIFICATIONS:
    The ideal candidate will possess 4+ years of program management experience, thrive in an entrepreneurial environment, possess a deep understanding of the fields of environment and the cognitive or behavioral science, and can lead a program that connects the two. He/she will be a thought leader with exceptional communications skills who is able to engage with experts in these fields as well as program staff at foundations and with other stakeholders.

    HOW TO APPLY:
    By applying, you are only sharing your resume with People & Systems, not the hiring organization. Your information is NEVER shared with our client without your permission. If selected, you will be given full disclosure about the position/organization, allowing you to decide whether or not you wish to proceed. All applications are 100% CONFIDENTIAL.

    Send a resume and cover letter articulating your connection/openness to the mission: GARRISON@peopleANDsystems.com

    or

    Visit our posting at: https://www.nonprofitJOBMARKET.org/jobDetail.aspx?jobId=4550
  • ahahahhahahah thats all i can do is laugh ahahahahha
  • Job Title:Astronaut Candidate

    Department:National Aeronautics and Space Administration

    Agency:Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center

    Job Announcement Number:JS12A0001

    SALARY RANGE:$64,724.00 to $141,715.00 / Per Year

    OPEN PERIOD:Tuesday, November 15, 2011 to Friday, January 27, 2012

    SERIES & GRADE:GS-0801-11/14

    POSITION INFORMATION:Full Time - Permanent

    PROMOTION POTENTIAL:15

    DUTY LOCATIONS:Few vacancy(s) in the following locations:

    Houston, TXView Map

    WHO MAY BE CONSIDERED:This announcement is open to all qualified U.S. citizens.

    JOB SUMMARY:

    NASA, the world's leader in space and aeronautics is always seeking outstanding scientists, engineers, and other talented professionals to carry forward the great discovery process that its mission demands. Creativity. Ambition. Teamwork. A sense of daring. And a probing mind. That's what it takes to join NASA, one of the best places to work in the Federal Government.

    The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has a need for Astronaut Candidates to support the International Space Station (ISS) Program and future deep space exploration activities.

    Active duty military personnel are eligible to apply for this position. In addition to applying through USAJobs, active duty military personnel must also submit their application through their respective military service. Military points of contacts can be found at Astronaut Candidate Program.

    KEY REQUIREMENTS

    Position subject to pre-employment background investigation

    This is drug-testing designated position

    Frequent travel may be required

    Selectee must pass a pre-employment medical examination

    DUTIES:

    Back to top

    Astronauts are involved in all aspects of assembly and on-orbit operations of the ISS. This includes extravehicular activities (EVA), robotics operations using the remote manipulator system, experiment operations, and onboard maintenance tasks. Astronauts are required to have a detailed knowledge of the ISS systems, as well as detailed knowledge of the operational characteristics, mission requirements and objectives, and supporting systems and equipment for each experiment on their assigned missions.

    Long-duration missions aboard the ISS generally last from 3 to 6 months. Training for long duration missions is very arduous and takes approximately 2 to 3 years. This training requires extensive travel, including long periods away in other countries training with our international partners. Travel to and from the ISS will be aboard the Russian Soyuz vehicle. Consequently, astronauts must meet the Soyuz size requirements, as indicated below. Additional information about the position can be found at Astronaut Candidate Program.

    QUALIFICATIONS REQUIRED:

    Back to top

    Applicants must meet the following minimum requirements before submitting an application.

    1. Bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in engineering, biological science, physical science, or mathematics. Quality of academic preparation is important.

    Notes on Academic Requirements:

    Applicants for the Astronaut Candidate Program must meet the basic education requirements for NASA engineering and scientific positions, specifically: successful completion of standard professional curriculum in an accredited college or university leading to at least a bachelor's degree with major study in an appropriate field of engineering, biological science, physical science, or mathematics.

    The following degree fields are not considered qualifying:

    --Degrees in Technology (Engineering Technology, Aviation Technology, Medical Technology, etc.)

    --Degrees in Psychology (except for Clinical Psychology, Physiological Psychology, or Experimental Psychology, which are qualifying)

    --Degrees in Nursing

    --Degrees in Exercise Physiology or similar fields

    --Degrees in Social Sciences (Geography, Anthropology, Archaeology, etc.)

    --Degrees in Aviation, Aviation Management, or similar fields

    2. Degree followed by at least 3 years of related, progressively responsible, professional experience OR at least 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. An advanced degree is desirable and may be substituted for experience as follows: master's degree = 1 year of experience, doctoral degree = 3 years of experience. Teaching experience, including experience at the K - 12 levels, is considered to be qualifying experience for the Astronaut Candidate position; therefore, educators are encouraged to apply.

    3. Ability to pass the NASA long-duration space flight physical, which includes the following specific requirements:

    Distant and near visual acuity: Must be correctable to 20/20, each eye

    The refractive surgical procedures of the eye, PRK and LASIK, are allowed, providing at least 1 year has passed since the date of the procedure with no permanent adverse after effects. For those applicants under final consideration, an operative report on the surgical procedure will be requested.

    Blood pressure not to exceed 140/90 measured in a sitting position

    Standing height between 62 and 75 inches.

    Notes on Space Flight Physical Requirements:

    Since all crewmembers will be expected to fly aboard the Soyuz vehicle and perform Extravehicular Activities (space walks), applicants must meet the anthropometric requirements for both the Soyuz vehicle and the extravehicular activity mobility unit (space suit). Applicants brought in for interview will be evaluated to ensure they meet the anthropometric requirements.

    Basic Education Requirement: A bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university with major study in engineering, physical science, mathematics, life sciences, computer science, or other field of science. Degrees in engineering technology are not considered to be qualifying for this position.

    U.S. citizenship is required.

    HOW YOU WILL BE EVALUATED:

    Applicants will be evaluated by an Astronaut Rating Panel based on the academic and work experience qualification requirements stated in this announcement. Eligible candidates will be placed in qualified and highly-qualified categories. Highly-qualified applicants will be evaluated by an Astronaut Selection Board based on the academic and work experience qualification requirements and suitability inquiries. Best qualified applicants will be interviewed. The finalists will be referred to the appropriate official who will recommend selection.

    BENEFITS:

    Back to top

    NASA offers excellent benefit programs and competitive salaries. To learn more about pay and benefits at NASA, click HERE.

    OTHER INFORMATION:

    This is an interdisciplinary position. The position may be established in any one of a variety of federal occupations: engineering, science, or mathematics. The specific classification will depend on the qualifications of the selected candidate.

    These positions are in the excepted service.

    Several selections (approximately 9-15) may be made under this announcement. Selections will be announced in the spring of 2013. Selected candidates will report for duty at the Johnson Space Center in the summer of 2013.

    The pay rates shown reflect the 2011 pay schedules. These rates will be adjusted to reflect any increase in 2013.

    Additional information may be requested from the applicant's supervisors and references.

    Applicants may be required to obtain a pre-employment medical examination.

    A week-long process of interviews, medical screening, and orientation will be required for applicants under final consideration.

    Further interviews and a complete medical evaluation will be conducted prior to selection.

    Selected applicants will be designated Astronaut Candidates and will undergo a training and evaluation period lasting approximately 2 years.

    Astronaut Candidates will be required to pass a swimming test during the first month of training.

    Selection into the Astronaut Candidate Program does not guarantee selection as an astronaut. Final selection as an astronaut will depend upon satisfactory completion of the training and evaluation period. Graduation from the Astronaut Candidate Program will require successful completion of the following: International Space Station systems training, Extravehicular Activity skills training, Robotics skills training, Russian language training, and aircraft flight readiness training.

    Allowable relocation expenses will be made to any applicant selected from outside the commuting area.

    Successful completion of a security investigation will be required for those selected.

    This is a drug-testing designated position.

    Frequent travel may be required.

    As a condition of employment, male applicants born after December 31, 1959, must certify that they have registered with the Selective Service System, or are exempt from having to do so under the Selective Service Law.

    Your USAJOBS account asks you to assign a name to each of your resumes. When you apply to a NASA position, we will show you the text of the resume you have submitted, but we do not maintain the name you have assigned to that resume. If you wish to keep track of that information, we recommend you make note of it at the time you apply.

    HOW TO APPLY:

    Back to top

    This vacancy is being filled through NASA STARS, an automated Staffing and Recruitment System. NASA partners with USAJOBS in providing a seamless application process. Before you begin the application process, please read the vacancy announcement carefully and have all required information available. You may begin the process of submitting your resume by clicking on the 'Apply Online' link.

    In order to be considered, you must submit a resume completed on the USAJOBS site. When completing your USAJOBS resume, please remember that NASA limits resumes to the equivalent of approximately SIX typed pages, or approximately 22,000 characters including spaces. You will NOT be allowed to complete the application process if your resume is too long or if your resume was uploaded to USAJobs from a second source. Additionally, NASA does not accept documents attached through USAJOBS' document attachment feature.

    Once you submit your resume to NASA, you will be asked to complete a short series of additional questions and upload your completed PDF forms. You must finish the entire process in order to have a complete application package and receive consideration.

    In addition to the USAJOBS resume you must complete and submit the Astronaut-specific forms and provide a copy of your transcripts. Click here to download the forms and transcript coversheet. The forms are a PDF format and require Adobe Acrobat Reader. Click here to download/install Acrobat if you don't already have it.

    Save your completed forms on your computer. You will be instructed how to upload the forms when you apply to this vacancy announcement from USAJOBS. The forms must be uploaded by the closing date, in order to have a complete application and receive consideration. You may edit and reapply to the vacancy announcement to update a previously-submitted application anytime before the closing date. For more information, see the Applicant Guide.

    If you are unable to apply electronically for this position, submit your resume and supplemental questions to: National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), Resume Operations Center, Mailstop: HS50, Marshall Space Flight Center, AL 35812. DO NOT submit your resume directly to the Center advertising this vacancy. Mailed resumes must be received by the close of business on the closing date of the announcement. Hard copy resumes requirements are provided at: Hard Copy Resume Requirements.

    If you are a first time applicant, we recommend that you review NASA's Applicant Guide to ensure that you are providing a complete resume. Failure to submit the supplemental data, a resume that contains all of the required information, and the additional Astronaut-specific forms will result in loss of consideration for this position.

    All applications must be received no later than midnight Eastern Time on the closing date of the announcement.

    REQUIRED DOCUMENTS:

    NASA's application process has been specifically developed to ensure that we only ask you for the information we absolutely need to evaluate your qualifications and eligibility. In order to apply for this position, you only need to submit your resume and answer the screening questions and supplemental information. No additional documentation is accepted at the time of application. (For example you need not submit narrative 'KSA' statements; they are not required and will not be evaluated.) In this way we allow you to focus on preparing a resume that best describes your background and abilities. For assistance in preparing your resume, consult the Applicant Guide.

    The application documents include the following:

    -Applicant Resume through USAJOBS

    -References/Other Skills Form

    -Summary of Aeronautical Experience Form

    -Legible copy of Official or Non-official Transcript(s)

    Download blank forms HERE.

    Nothing further is required until requested by the Astronaut Selection Office. At that point, we may ask you to submit documentation to support statements made in your resume. For example, we may ask you to provide proof of Federal employment status. If you are claiming veterans' preference, we may ask you to submit proof of veterans preference (DD-214, and, if claiming 10-point preference, SF-15 plus proof required by that form). If you fail to provide the required documents within the stated time period, we may withdraw a job offer and/or remove you from further consideration.

    AGENCY CONTACT INFO:

    Teresa Gomez

    Phone: 281-483-5907

    Email: astronaut.selection@mail

    .nasa.gov

    Agency Information:

    NASA's Resume Operations Center

    Mailstop HS50

    Marshall Space Flight Center, AL

    35812

    US

    WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT:

    Although you may or may not be contacted during the selection process, we will always advise you about the outcome of the announcement. If you have questions, please feel free to contact the individual identified in the Contact section. Click here to view a timeline for the astronaut selection process.

    < Back to ResultsBack to top

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    Agency Information:

    NASA's Resume Operations Center

    Mailstop HS50

    Marshall Space Flight Center, AL

    35812

    US

    Questions about this job:

    Teresa Gomez

    Phone: 281-483-5907

    Email: astronaut.selection@mail

    .nasa.gov

    Job Announcement Number:

    JS12A0001

    Control Number: 302967000

    http://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/302967000

  • Damn, the closing date has already passed.

  • Frequent travel may be required.

    ...in the case of NASA, isn't the nature of the travel a bigger concern than the frequency?

This discussion has been closed.