Get Brooklynian.com by Email! 
Grab the Feed (RSS)Brooklynian » Forum » Crown Heights and Prospect Lefferts Gardens »
-
Last year we moved to Prospect Heights/Crown Heights. I honestly would like to foster relationships with my neighbors but don't know how? There are many children on the block and it would be great if my son had some playmates. I too am a social person, and like to have a neighborly chat. However when my son approaches eager to join them, the youngsters and their parents act very uncomfortable. I try to make small talk, but am met with silence. I think that there is a misconception that all the white people moving to the neighborhood are carefree 'yuppies", and perhaps the other moms feel they would have nothing in common with me. The truth is we're a working family facing the same issues and concern. What can I do to bridge the gap and feel more a part of the community?
-
I imagine that you would foster relationships the same way that you would foster them anywhere? Just smile and be friendly. Hit the playground, go to local events for kids. It's hard moving to any new neighborhood, but particularly hard when there are cultural barriers (real or imagined).Ok, now I'm crazy. Another goal achieved.
-
remember back in school, the kid who tried to fit in too well? the one that everyone thought was lame? thats what some people might perceive, so just be nice and dont rush things, say hi, comment, and be invited, dont invite yourself into conversations. these things take time.
-
just forget about your lame ass neighbors. they'll come to you soon enough.Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure). -
how about joining a community group -- be it a church, a garden, or what have you? that way you will meet people who are definitely interested in meeting new people and they will see what sort of person you are in context. also, going to the community meetings that are often posted on this board will give your neighbors a chance to see that you have the same concerns they do. oh, and sharing food and toys can work wonders. i'm not sure how old your son is, but could you set him up with some sidewalk chalk or something else that invites sharing and that other kids might want to use? maybe if other moms are out watching their kids, bring out some lemonade and offer them some/ask them if they think their kids might like some. my guess is that -- if they are close enough in age -- the kids may get used to your son faster than your neighbors become friendly with you. that's normal. and if your neighbors get used to seeing your son playing with their kids, i bet they'll warm up to you too. it just takes a little while is all. it may go faster if you meet some people through a group who will kind of vouch for you -- i know i meet more people when i am with one of the long-standing, well-known residents here than when i am on my own. i think people see you talking to a person they already know and then figure you must be okay if so-and-so is talking to you.Bumping ancient threads with bot-like bullshit
-
Be a good neighbor.
-
Interesting post, new mom. So often posters on this board have implored newcomers to "make nice" with long-time residents. You're doing precisely that, yet your neighbors are giving you the cold shoulder. I'd listen to armchair. and sweet ham. Be kind, but don't bend over backwards to get their approval. Hopefully with time things will improve.
-
Ask to borrow a cup of sugar.
-
Block party?
-
I don't know how old your son is but, my family and I will be moving to Crown Heights, after an extensive renovation (around the children's museum) around August. I make it a point to wave and to say hello to my neighbors every time I'm around. My kids have even met a friend their age and we're not even living there yet. I find my soon-to-be neighbors to be really friendly and inviting. I don't know how far you are from me, but I would like for my children to play with other children no matter what race or color. These children are our future...what kind of future will we have if we won't even allow children to play together because of the color of their skin. Old-timers and new-comers let's not prejudge, let's get to know one another before we come to a conclusion.
-
This is my third summer in Crown Heights. I have found that this spring, I have been greeted more by my neighbors. I think this is because I am no longer a new face. IMHO, time does seem to help.
-
I think my purplish/blue hair has helped me tremendously in CH. It gives people a conversation starter and perhaps makes me seem less like a wealthy gentrifier.
Oops, forgot to mention that I've only been here for 6 months. I've had a few ugly incidents but for the most part people have been pretty nice.Go do something useful. -
Jack Krohn » ... I'd listen to armchair. and sweet ham.
Sweet Ham!(\__/)
(=’.'=)
(”)_(”) -
Ive been here since October, and at first my neighbors didnt say too much to me (well, the men did, but that's a different story!) but I kept smiling and saying hi everytime i passed. now, not too long after, i stop and chat, and i feel part of the block. So I guess what I'm saying is, yeah, it just takes time. i think people come in and out of the 'hood, or like you said, people have preconcieved notions of the new people coming in -- but just be who you are, be friendly and nice, and eventually I'm sure a relationship will begin to grow. Well, hopefully anyway. I agree with not bending over backwards... i mean who knows, maybe these are people you don't WANT to be friends with, you don't know who they are either. So I wouldn't be over eager, but definitely keep smilin and being friendly -- and i like the suggestion about the chalk, if that works : ) I have tons of kids on my block, too, and i think they talk to me even more than the adults do, they are so adorable : ) so try to let your son go and play with them, even if the moms/parents are standoffish. even though i know parents can instill prejudice int heir kids, the kids seem much more eager to talk and play with ANYone. : ) let us know how it works out!
-
If some neighbors are being rude, look for other neighbors. There will be some people who just won't like newcomers, but I've met tons of really nice people.
-
be honest with you, I like being anonymous thats why i like living in a city. Knowing people its not all its crack up to be. you sometimes don't want your neighbors to know your bussiness.Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure). -
i love sitting on my front stoop. folks pass by, smile, and wave. i wave back. some stop to chat. some don't. but they see you. they know you're a neighbor. trust will come with time.
-
This time this year the Quiglet and I can be found on our stoop. It's the best passive way to meet and greet the neighbors.
-
Like with anything, it takes time. A lot of the people have been living in the area for a long time and are a little weary of strangers (I admit that I can be like that myself). Sometimes they are just waiting to see what you're about. Like most of the posters said here, just wait it out and just be yourself.
-
I had to come back to this thread because I've been thinking about it a great deal. For myself, as a biracial woman, I've never "fit in" anywhere. Regardless of the neighborhood, there is always someone who wants to hate on me. Some of your neighbors may feel uncomfortable around you. Some people rarely communicate with people outside of their own ethnicity. Because I am very tolerant, I am often taken aback by the intolerance of others. As everyone said...as long as you "be yourself" and relax, you will find (as I have) that most people really don't care about your skin color and for those who do...practice my mantra..."I really don't care what you think".... and mean it. Oh, and don't say stupid things like "There really isn't much racism in the world any more" or anything like that. Though you are hardly "gentry" if you are white and living in Crown Heights, understand your priviledge and the unintended effect of "gentrification" on the neighborhood. Understanding it doesn't mean that you have to be abused or guilty. You are just trying to live somewhere nice, yet I believe that helping in the fight to maintain affordable housing is one way that you can participate in the neighborhood, in other words "give" to your new home and neighborhood. Join the community board, the PTA, participate.Ok, now I'm crazy. Another goal achieved.
-
armchair_warrior » just forget about your lame ass neighbors. they'll come to you soon enough.
Either that, or they'll be gone, the holdouts finally displaced by a bunch of new people who start overrunning the neighborhood after you, and whom you find disconcertingly socioeconomically or culturally remote, causing you to long for the time when the values of ordinary hard-working People Like Us made the area what it's in the process becoming today. After all, your neighbors or their parents were once the displacers themselves. When I was a kid, my middle-class family moved to an area that was more populated with older empty nested blue-collar workers or out-of-workers after industries closed, and whom we didn't really relate to; many others had the same idea because of the location and prices, and before you knew it, it was mostly average income families with tweens/teens including a strong component of mediterranean immigrants. About the time we left, everything was bought up by first generation merchant-class Asians; the economy had changed, the birthrate had dropped, the immigration rate had increased and the mix changed, and the area didn't seem to have much to recommend it anymore for grown middle-class children. I expect those that came after us have been replaced by now, but I don't know by whom or why. Maybe those shop signs in English to which were added Greek and Turkish which were replaced with Vietnamese and Chinese now bear Arabic. Same houses and streets, different people at different stages of life. This is the way of things.The world will little note nor long remember what we say here. -- Abraham Lincoln
Welcome! Please log in to post, or register a new account!