Saturday while dining on chicken a piece became lodged in my throat, I didn't panic as it has happened in the past and usually passes in a few hours.
Well, I sat it out and when it didn't clear by Sunday morning I went to the Methodist and hoped the emergency room wouldn't be overwhelmed with shootings, stabbings, junkies or homeless looking for somewhere to get a good nights rest .
To my amazement it was virtually empty, I filled out forms in the triage, waited about twenty minutes and was sent into the emergency room for treatment.
They have an area in the center of the room where you sit and wait to be examined, there were three others in the area ,a woman without dentures who was babbling at the top of her lungs and spitting on those that were sitting next to her, a drunk that fell on his head, which was heavily bandaged and was waiting to be for x-rayd and a crack head who wouldn't shut up .
I was there for about an hour and was interviewed by three interns, two doctors and a maintenance man.
Finally a women called out my name and said I was going to be transported upstairs to be tended to, I said goodbye to my new found friends as I was wheeled away and was eager to have my problem solved .
I was brought to a room and was advised by the Nurse that a doctor would be here momentarily.
After 10 minutes he appeared with an entourage, He appeared to be an Indian, was slightly hunched over and was wearing a long white butchers coat, as were his group, who followed him in a single file formation.
He viewed my paper work and in a very loud and gruff manner, barked out
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Ok, here we go- Why, what have people been saying about me..
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I have some chicken in my throat
HOW DID YOU GET CHICKEN IN YOUR THROAT ?
I don,t know, i guess he had nowhere else to go.
( needless to say,that didn't go over to well )
He appeared pissed and handed me two gowns.
Why do I need two gowns?
BECAUSE OF THE SPIT !
Are you saying your going to spit on me when I'm unconscious?
Eyes bulging and the veins in his forehead looked like they were ready to explode.
I'M NOT IN THE HABIT OF SPITTING ON PATIENTS!
Well thats a relief, I was concerned for a moment.
They gave me a shot and when I woke up
He came over and handed me some photos he had taken of my esophagus while I was out.
THESE ARE YOURS!
IS THERE ANY THING ELSE?
Yeah there is, could you possibility give two 8 By 10's and six wallet sized copies of this.
I DON'T GIVE OUT PHOTOS LIKE THAT!
Well screw it, the next time this happens I'll go to Fototmat to be helped.
He flew out the door leaving his group behind, they broke out in laughter and said that was the funniest thing they ever saw, but recommended I go somewhere else if I ever have this problem. again.