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Should Armchair lie to the ladies?

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    1. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
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      My friend thinks so :p. trying the online dating thing, So far zero dates in decades.

      So each time I exchange message with some ladies and they find out I'm stilling living with my parents they stop talking to me. So should I tell them I live in one of my apts? ie lie about my current living situation?? lol

      and yes the no date in few decades is true.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    2. User has not uploaded an avatar
      bohuma

      above average
      Joined: Aug '08
      Posts: 466

      Well, Armchair, it depends on what you want out of the "date". If you are going to one of the many hookup sites for some wham bam, thank you Ma'am, then everyone on those sites expects to be lied to. If you are hoping for a long term relationship, you should not lie, but you might withhold the truth until after meeting said lady. You might also think about how your living arrangement might be presented in its best light. Don't just say "I still live at home" - that makes you sound like a socially stunted nerd. Emphasise that you are caring for your elderly parents.

      You might also consider going down the arranged marriage route. I am sure that someone in your extended family knows someone who would be perfect for you.

      You might be right when you say no woman is good enough for you, you might also be left.

    3. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      AW-
      I am rooting for you!

      I also expect that you will provide us with play by play updates.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    4. mamacita
      Mamacita

      Stuck in the middle with you
      Joined: Dec '06
      Posts: 9,520

      Hummm how do I express this in a non-rambling way
      1st) Culture plays a role. For example, if I was living at home it wouldn't matter one bit. I'm a latina, in my culture we often stay and live with the family to help support them/take care of our elders/run a business/save $ until we buy a home/share large property.. etc.

      AW, You take care of your family and their property and help run the family business. When dating, put yourself out there as a trustee to your family's multiple real estates, as a caring son who values family, culture and tradition. It's not like you are some entitled rich kid whose bumming it at home and a drain on society. If it helps don't tell them that you live at home until after the first date.

      Good luck, you deserve to find a sweet gal

      (\__/)
      (=’.'=)
      (”)_(”)
    5. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      AW-
      When I was new at dating, I tended to stare a lot their breasts.

      While this gave me a low level of immediate gratification, over time, I learned if I was more subtle about my staring, I could form a relationship with them that actually allowed me to touch said breasts.

      While I do not know you well enough to give you such advice, I have found that most men benefit from said advice.

      Sincerely,

      Whynot_31

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    6. User has not uploaded an avatar
      PragmaticGuy

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      Joined: Apr '11
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      I had my first girlfriend when I was 13 and she didn't really have breasts. I probably wouldn't have known what to do with them anyway.

    7. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      At 14, the fun seems to begin.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    8. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      :p American girls seems to see the living with family as a huge stigma lol. Oh wells :p I just tell the truth anyway no point. Just wanted to see what you guys think.

      Armchair only does long term relationships not into the whole modern thing.

      Funny thing is fresh off the boat girls don't have a problem with it but they have a problem with me not having a "office" job LOL.

      They think all proper guys should have a office type of jobs lol. meaning white collar jobs working for the man etc...

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    9. User has not uploaded an avatar
      PragmaticGuy

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      Joined: Apr '11
      Posts: 426

      They see it as a stigma because
      1. They can't spend the night
      2. They can't drop by whenever they want
      3. They can't move in with you

      This is what's called being lucky as you won't be
      1. nagged to death
      2. pussy whipped (and I don't mean by cats)
      3. end up with some gal who's too "needy"

    10. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      AW-
      Tell them you are saving up for a place of your own, and a real estate mogul.

      To convince them of the latter, you can try to tell them stories your buildings (which I know you basically break even on), OR come your hair over your head, like Donald Trump.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    11. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      me likes the donald idea :p. girls will buy it!!!

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    12. stacey
      stacey

      rocking it
      Joined: Mar '05
      Posts: 3,529

      Mamacita said:
      AW, You take care of your family and their property and help run the family business. When dating, put yourself out there as a trustee to your family's multiple real estates, as a caring son who values family, culture and tradition. It's not like you are some entitled rich kid whose bumming it at home and a drain on society. If it helps don't tell them that you live at home until after the first date.

      Good luck, you deserve to find a sweet gal

      ^^ This - any girl worth dating you will see this as a good thing. I knew my husband was the man for me when I saw him interact with his mom. Also when you fill out those profiles make sure to add that family is important to you and you are looking for a girl with a good work ethic because you want someone who feels the same way as you.

      And finally - any girl who can't see how good you are then I say its their loss.

    13. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
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      Most of the world continues to fall for it. So, I think it is reasonable to think your dating pool will do the same.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    14. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      I like this one better

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    15. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      Now that we have your hair style determined, I think we should move on to what you should say about yourself in the actual ad.

      Assuming you are not on a site that caters to female video game enthusiasts, you may want to be careful about letting her know how much time you spend playing video games.

      Remember, it is often best to let women get to know the real you after you get married.

      ...my father gave me this advice, and it has been some of the best advice I ever have received. Mrs. Whynot will agree.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    16. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      lol poor girl :p.

      my personal philosophy is they should know everything including all the bad habits before you buy into you :p. This way no surprises at all.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    17. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      May you be equally successful.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    18. mamacita
      Mamacita

      Stuck in the middle with you
      Joined: Dec '06
      Posts: 9,520

      Let them know all the good stuff about you first! Don't go into it showing all your warts and all (figuratively.) Let her find those out once you get nekkid. There is a time and place for everything. Maybe you are scaring them off by letting it all hang out before it's time, ya know?

      (oh this is going to go places.....)

      (\__/)
      (=’.'=)
      (”)_(”)
    19. OMG this thread is such a delicious work distraction

      a teaspoon of kisses and a drop of glee
    20. User has not uploaded an avatar
      PragmaticGuy

      above average
      Joined: Apr '11
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      Remember, any gal you meet is a potential first wife. You may need to use the same techniques for a second time. Keep a diary of what worked.

    21. jeffrey
      jeffrey

      is not in right now
      Joined: Feb '07
      Posts: 4,131

      What does Meetup.com have in the way of NY-area WoW / Diablo III (or whatever your fragging pleasure) meetups?

      i extend my battery life by turning down the brightness
    22. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      jeffrey said:
      What does Meetup.com have in the way of NY-area WoW / Diablo III (or whatever your fragging pleasure) meetups?

      Jeffery-
      Given the ratio of women to men who are into such things, I suspect that any woman into such things could have their choice of men like Armchair. Given such power, I believe that we would all pick a fabulous, exceptional outlier.

      Being that most of the world falls within 2 standard deviations, I suspect AW is not exceptional.

      Hence, I believe that we should advise AW to stray outside of his comfort zone and cast a bigger net than he is used to: I.E. He should not seek the ever so attract, ever so elusive woman who is into WoW or Diablo III.

      AW, dating is about putting yourself out there, being open minded, and (ultimately) settling for who will spend time with you.

      You gotta have reasonable expectations. A first step might be accepting that Victoria Secret Models and Diablo III girls might be equally out of your league.

      ...they just have too many other choices.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    23. whynot_31 said:
      Jeffery-
      Given the ratio of women to men who are into such things, I suspect that any woman into such things could have their choice of men like Armchair.

      Given such power, I believe that we would all pick an exceptional outlier.

      Being that most of the world falls within 2 standard deviations, I suspect AW is not exceptional.

      Hence, I believe that we should advise AW to stray outside of his comfort zone and cast a bigger net than he is used to: I.E. He should not seek a woman who is into WoW or Diablo III.

      AW, dating is about settling. You gotta have reasonable expectations.

      This is _HILARIOUS_

      a teaspoon of kisses and a drop of glee
    24. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      I'm a unreasonable person :p.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    25. jeffrey
      jeffrey

      is not in right now
      Joined: Feb '07
      Posts: 4,131

      Alternatively whynot, he could expand the sample/target universe to include additional en4chantress and Redditrix segments that still correlate with his other overall interests, e.g.

      http://reddit.com/r/r4r or whatever that indie/alternative dating site is that plastered its alt crowd ads throughout the subways.

      Sure, the same factors you mention are in play, and there's definitely a ton of crossover and redundancy of inputs but just going by the sheer numbers...

      If it gets him just one more viable opportunity than the present it would be an improvement.

      i extend my battery life by turning down the brightness
    26. jeffrey
      jeffrey

      is not in right now
      Joined: Feb '07
      Posts: 4,131

      Then again, he could ditch over-thinking it and just go with something solid like this:

      In this town, he'd probably get just the sort of responses he's looking for.

      i extend my battery life by turning down the brightness
    27. stacey
      stacey

      rocking it
      Joined: Mar '05
      Posts: 3,529

      Comic con speed dating -
      'nuff said

      [+] Embed this video

    28. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      /snickers comic con

      same people who are into larping i bet.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    29. mamacita
      Mamacita

      Stuck in the middle with you
      Joined: Dec '06
      Posts: 9,520

      AW, if you follow these guy's advice you're going to have so many bitches that you may have to change your middle name..

      (\__/)
      (=’.'=)
      (”)_(”)
    30. booklaw
      booklaw

      admin
      Joined: Nov '07
      Posts: 2,415

      That was utterly adorable!

    31. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      I now have enough research info :p going to see you folks laters.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    32. mamacita
      Mamacita

      Stuck in the middle with you
      Joined: Dec '06
      Posts: 9,520

      Excellent, who else need dating advice? The Love Doctors are IN.

      (\__/)
      (=’.'=)
      (”)_(”)
    33. mrs whynot
      mrs whynot

      getting it
      Joined: Oct '08
      Posts: 66

      When some women want to date, they participate in activities such as classes, singles hikes, outdoor dancing, NPR singles events, Home Depot classes, etc, etc. Figure out something you like doing (watching porn and science fiction do not count) and find a singles event that relates to it.

    34. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      Mrs Whynot is proof that not all women have impossibly high standards.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    35. tateinbk
      tateinbk

      above average
      Joined: Jun '11
      Posts: 508

      Mamacita said: AW, You take care of your family and their property and help run the family business. When dating, put yourself out there as a trustee to your family's multiple real estates, as a caring son who values family, culture and tradition. It's not like you are some entitled rich kid whose bumming it at home and a drain on society. If it helps don't tell them that you live at home until after the first date.

      The other reason ladies shy away from men who live at home is they fear they're just lazy bastards who like having mommy do all their laundry and cook and clean for them.

      Also, don't mention all your negatives, you can mention one or two, but don't make them your worst features. You get to advertise yourself. This is your chance. Don't lie, but aim to tell good stuff. Also, use a free site, otherwise it just gets (more) demoralizing. Good Luck, feel free to contact if you want any help writing or editing your profile.

    36. mamacita
      Mamacita

      Stuck in the middle with you
      Joined: Dec '06
      Posts: 9,520

      whynot_31 said:
      Jeffery-
      Given the ratio of women to men who are into such things, I suspect that any woman into such things could have their choice of men like Armchair. Given such power, I believe that we would all pick a fabulous, exceptional outlier.

      Being that most of the world falls within 2 standard deviations, I suspect AW is not exceptional.

      Hence, I believe that we should advise AW to stray outside of his comfort zone and cast a bigger net than he is used to: I.E. He should not seek the ever so attract, ever so elusive woman who is into WoW or Diablo III.

      AW, dating is about putting yourself out there, being open minded, and (ultimately) settling for who will spend time with you.

      You gotta have reasonable expectations. A first step might be accepting that Victoria Secret Models and Diablo III girls might be equally out of your league.

      ...they just have too many other choices.

      I had to ask the boyfriend what WoW meant. And here I thought ya'll were just expressing astonishment or admiration... and into Satan.

      (\__/)
      (=’.'=)
      (”)_(”)
    37. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      AW-
      When the moment approaches being "right", many couples utilize alcohol, music, or fine dining to convince themselves that they should engage in physical relations.

      Barry White has played a role in thousands of such decisions, and (Depending upon who you end up wanting to be with), might help you get to that next level.

      [+] Embed this video

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    38. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      whynot_31 said:
      AW-
      When the moment approaches being "right", many couples utilize alcohol, music, or fine dining to convince themselves that they should engage in physical relations.

      Barry White has played a role in thousands of such decisions, and (Depending upon who you end up wanting to be with), might help you get to that next level.

      [+] Embed this video

      this is a better guide :p

      [video]

      [+] Embed this video

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).
    39. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      AW-
      You may be right. And, we are both ahead ourselves in that we are not yet at the stage where we need to choose a wooing technique.

      First things first. Mrs. Whynot is correct in that one of the first things we need to do (assuming you have a haircut and shower recently), is get you into settings where there are single females.

      In this era, establishing a online dating profile (or several contradictory ones) is essential. Can you post the questions that are giving you the most trouble? Some of us may be helpful.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    40. tateinbk
      tateinbk

      above average
      Joined: Jun '11
      Posts: 508

      whynot: Can you post the questions that are giving you the most trouble? Some of us may be helpful.

      I have it on very good authority that the internets can be a great way to connect people. In fact I know of a certain Chinese guy who was living at home, who now lives with a certain someone and even has a little certain baby.

    41. whynot_31
      whynot_31

      Former Lurker
      Joined: Mar '06
      Posts: 16,381

      Yes, and from what I can tell, said Chinese guy did very well.

      AW, unlike most of the challenges given to us by readers, yours is achievable.

      ...getting AW a date is much more feasible than -say- finding someone a nice 2 BR west of Nostrand for less than $1200, OR solving complex social and political problems.

      Please post dating profile soon. K thx.

      For better or worse, the change on Nostrand is going to make the change on Franklin look minor.
    42. armchair_warrior
      armchair_warrior

      retsop cixelsyd
      Joined: Dec '05
      Posts: 7,947

      armchair is alright :p, i'm going to find a girl who doesn't have preconceive stigma of a person living with their parents :p one day.

      Fight white guilt and injustice by smoking tax free guilt free Reservation Smokes or go gamble in a Native Casino.
      I like to stick it to The Man, The Man happens to be Liberal in NYC(power Structure).

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