[Dekker Dad]

Yesterday (Thurs April 16) around 4pm there was an incident that required the response of local police at the Underhill playground.

A woman brought in a large hummer style pink Barbie car , but became hostile and belligerent when other children showed interest in it. My own 2yr old daughter climbed in at which point the woman approached and started arguing with me. Very rude, for lack of a better word, very ghetto attitude. I took my daughter away and tried to explain we thought it might be one of the public toys, etc, and when the woman continued to be nasty I said something to the effect that she was being rude and selfish, etc. I guess I could have been more turn-the-other cheek, but I doubt it would have mattered.

This provoked a man who was with her to come after me and start threatening me, and by association, the little girl in my arms. The scene was aggressive enough that some people began collecting their children and leaving the playground. The guy was described by others as looking very 'thug-like' and one person told me they believed he had a knife case at his belt, I didn't notice. Anyway, when it became clear things were escalating I stepped away from him and called 911, which seemed to at least stop the immediate situation from boiling over.

The woman stayed belligerent and verbally abusive the entire time, hurling insults and taunts at me and my family, though the guy tried to disappear as soon as the police arrived. Make of that what you will.

I spoke with other parents and they said she'd been harassing people there all day, and they had seen her at the playground before, acting similarly. John, or any other playground rep, was absent. There were dozens of witnesses, if I have any details wrong feel free to correct me here.

After speaking to the police I took my family home, but I'm not sure how comfortable we'll be going back to that playground. I want to emphasize this wasn't a misunderstanding between rational adults, the people involved were belligerent and physically hostile.

Bottom line, if you see a woman there (medium build, maybe in her mid 30s, blondish straightened hair, african american) with a gigantic pink Barbie Hummer, keep your kids off of it and give her a WIDE berth, she's not worth the trouble.

[madman]

Next time take a cell phone photo. This woman sound like a public menace. We could make posters!

[LincolnAnnex]

Not for nothing, but why would one assume that a flashy toy like that would be a 'public toy'? I know that kids wander and explore, and regardless of this thought, the actions of those two were terribly unwarranted, but I can't help but think that this whole thing could have easily been avoided. Color me ignorant if you see otherwise, but the large logic leap there as to the 'status' of the toy is flawed. That being said, it's sounds like you handled the ensuing argument/confrontation well and I hope that you and your dear never have to face that again. Sorry to hear about this.

[Jay B]

Did she have a child with her? Or were they there, two hostile adults, with the pink Hummer and no child?

[King without a crown]

That playground has been the scene of numerous incidents and its unfortunate that parents dont have a safe place for their kids to play. As for it being a "public toy" , thats what kids do; they play with other kids and other kids toys. How could've this whole thing been avoided?

[parrothead]

Dekker Dad,

I would talk to John, the Parks employee about this incident. He is very kind and concerned about the safety of that playground. THanks for the heads up, I will steer clear of that couple.
_________________
Think Green

[GOD]

My wife and I encountered this same woman back in the fall of last year. Our son was almost 2 then and go's after anything with wheels, New or old. He ran over and started just touching the pink hummer when she approached us and said to get away from it. We apologized for our son touching it and walked away. She kept going on and on about how it was her kids. We kept telling her he didn't harm the toy and that he's ONLY toddler. But she kept up with insults. We left the park because the vibe there was way to intense. Her daughter looked like a very unhappy child.

John is the guy to go to about this. He knows every person that comes into that park. Please let him know and he will find out who it is and he'll talk to them.

In the mean time....

STAY AWAY FROM THE PINK HUMMER!
_________________
Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.

- Erik Satie

[Dekker Dad]

I would have been surprised if a woman like that didn't have a history . . .

thanks for the replies - even getting a bit of feedback online helps level the experience out. It's a lot to ask just to raise kids day-to-day without pointless conflict, you know? We'll talk to John next time we see him.

[MeredithB]

She and her partner definitely despise gentrification, IMO.
_________________
Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches.

[thelambchop]

LincolnAnnex - There are a number of toys that are the "property" of Underhill Playground and free for all kids to share. Some of them are big and flashy though most are not. In addition, most parents encourage their kids to share toys they bring to the park - and most parents don't bring toys to the park that they don't want to share. I don't think DekkerDad's assumption that the kid could play with the toy without starting a war was flawed at all.

DekkerDad - I'm sorry you felt threatened. I hope you come back to the playground! There's also an Underhill Playground group (you can find it on Yahoo) that you can post your story to, to warn others and to gather support.

[wasabihot]

This is truly an unfortunate incident and I'm sorry to hear it. However knowing that playground for some fifteen years and being aware of changes that have occurred there, I wonder if this woman's ignorance and belligerence might not be interpreted/perceived as even more rude and dangerous than they actually were because of class/color. l, my assumption is that she was one of the black lower income neighborhood residents and you (and your family) are not. She's feeling disempowered in her neighborhood (where trust me even her class peers think she's ignorant) and white families make good target practice for rage. Does this make her a menace, yes. Does this make her a person who should be placed under police supervision, no.
That said, I feel you should claim your spot on the playground. And while you should not engage her, don't let her make you and the other parents cower either. If you could see past the culturally normative limitations, you'd see her differently (though not more favorably) and she'd seem less of a threat.

[ChristinafromBklyn]

I just had a little fantasy of going down to the park with a big ass mallet and smashing the fucking thing to pieces(after all children were safely far away playing on something else and too distracted to even pay attention)

Problem solved(in my fantasy world of temporary insanity)!

Could you imagine the looks on the faces of the scary/belligerent couple? That's of course, if I didn't get shot or stabbed.

[thelambchop]

I see the story already has been posted on the Underhill Playground group.

wasabihot - i get where you're coming from and i didn't witness the incident. but taking dekkerdad's description as true, it seems like a majority of people felt threatened by this couple. to my mind, when someone is clearly intentionally trying to put people in fear of their own and their children's physical safety by being aggressive and enraged, and people do, in fact, feel threatened, the "culturally normative limitations" become irrelevant. without getting too college-dorm on you, i would go so far as to say that to ask people to "see past" what these people are actually doing is paternalistic and condescending and not a good model for a functioning society. the response should be tailored to the circumstances of course, but i don't see how calling 911 to have the police diffuse the situation is at all out of scale.

that said, i think dekkerdad's approach is just right. no need to freak out, just avoid the dastardly pink barbie hummer.

[beeninbrooklyn]

Maybe that's the problem, that so many people feel threatened by her. SHE'S AT A PLAYGROUND WITH A PINK BARBIE HUMMER, I'm sorry, that just doesn't strike me as someone to be incredibly threatened by, lol. Could it not be the case that she's feeling the same thing - threatened - that every time she goes to the playground parents don't respect her or her children's posessions. You obviously viewed her as 'ghetto' and her husband as a 'thug', so is it for us to believe that you treated her any differently than you percieved her? In honesty, if it were me, I would have grabbed my kid and told him not to touch that kids toy, period. Some people are weird about their stuff , but who are you to tell another adult that they're being rude and selfish - lol? Unless you are some combination of law enforcement/childrearing expert YOU were completley out of line. It sounds to me that you instigAted the incident and are now rallying the troops to circle around you based upon how you perceived her because you know people will believe you - not based on what she did because it sounded like you did the same thing. Way to teach the kids inclusiveness and conflict resolution.

[antigone]

If she's so low-income, why does she have a pink Barbie Hummer? I'm sort of middle class and my 19 year old daughter still jokes that I denied her a Barbie car when she was a toddler. It's fucking provocative to bring a toy like that to a playground. Naturally, all the kids will want to play with it. Sounds to me like the mother is looking for a fight.

[Superclam]

So....
Not sharing a toy at a playground teaches "inclusiveness"?
And continuing to threaten someone after they did what you asked teaches "conflict resolution"?
I don't think you need to be in law enforcement or a child rearing expert to tell if someone is rude or selfish. Taking the kid off of the toy should've ended it there, but it didn't.

[beeninbrooklyn]

[beeninbrooklyn]

[ChristinafromBklyn]

[ChristinafromBklyn]

I just caugt my misspelling of "belligerent"

[RBG]

Uh-oh! The colonizers have arrived at Underhill Playground. You're in control now. Why not just put up a sign that says, "No Blacks Allowed?"

[ChristinafromBklyn]

[BoogieKnight]

[sterling2000]

here we go...
_________________
"The jawbone of an ass is just as dangerous a weapon today as in Sampson's time."
--- Richard Nixon

[beeninbrooklyn]

[ChristinafromBklyn]

[beeninbrooklyn]

[ChristinafromBklyn]

[booklaw]

Beeninbrooklyn, you don't need to be coached by Rush Limbaugh to feel threatened. Class differences can lead to differences in manner of speech and word choices which may be perfectly common to one speaker and terribly frightening to another.

Imagine, if you will, a young adult from 1950 Westport, CT arguing with a young adult from 1950 Bensonhurst or Bay Ridge. Ok? No race difference... but very different class and style.

The OP did not suggest that he got up into the belligerent mother's face. When her scary-looking guy joined in, and became aggressive and threatening, the OP, holding his 2 year old in his arms, had every right and every reason to be terrified.

He never said or suggested he was sick of the people in the neighborhood... just of the couple who harassed him and his kid in the playground.

If you find that troublesome, I submit that your reaction appears to be based on class, rather than on the specific facts of this interaction.

[arches]

I propose that Brookynian charges $25/year for access to this post!

[whynot_31]

[bobbybrummel]

ketchup AND mustard. and relish if they got it. and heap on the kraut!
_________________
I've done a lot of lying in my time. I've lied to men who wear belts. I've lied to men who wear suspenders. But I'd never be so stupid as to lie to a man who wears both belt and suspenders.

[whynot_31]

http://www.skylinechili.com/menu.pdf

Welcome Bobby! Does skyline go too far?
_________________
Hey you! Enlighten up.

[beeninbrooklyn]

[wasabihot]

per Beeninbrooklyn: Christina - I agree completely in spirit, and who in the eat buhjezus wants crazy people around their kids. But the original post smacked of a disdain that's hard to miss...like I'm so sick of the people in this neighborhood I'm going to call the cops on them kind of disdain. I mean "ghetto" and "thug" really? Was Rush Limbaugh coaching her?

Race/Class/Education or hair color, I agree the post sounded disdainful and a bit entitled. Choice words mentioned above are less likely to be leveled at ignorant parents of same race/class/education or hair color. I was amused by the "could have had a knife" part of it though.(included for what reason if unsubstantiated) If ANYTHING is an indication of the color of those involved, I think that was. (because are we really going to be so PC here as to not acknowledge that hyperbolic assumptions lie in lack of cultural affinity)
And all of that is OK, if we just don't pretend it's anything else. The Hummer Lady is scary and scared, different types of people are trying to co-exist and it's not easy. But if this story inspires anything, shouldn't it be that these NEIGHBORS (speaking generally, not about offending parties) should be looking to see how they can gather and create a real community out of the thrown together bits they have now.

Note: A friend of mine gentrified a neighborhood in Bed Stuy. Although the old neighbors and a group of 30 or so newcomers were all the same color, class differences threatened to increase tensions until they started a block association. Now, peace and block parties ensue.

[bobbybrummel]

[whynot_31]

Wow, 4900 calories.

...people appreciating such fine delicacies would never act like fools in a playground.

That's the solution. Convert the bathrooms into a snack bar.
People will stuff their face with bad food 3.5 days a week (we'd have organic free-roam vegetables the other 3.5 days).

Everyone would be too busy eating to worry about pink barbie cars.
_________________
Hey you! Enlighten up.

[Superclam]

[beeninbrooklyn]

[ChristinafromBklyn]

[beeninbrooklyn]

[Superclam]

[GermanHermann]

Ketchup? How old are you? Five? It's mustard all the way. Mit sauerkraut. Or chili.

[whynot_31]

welcome German!
_________________
Hey you! Enlighten up.

[Superclam]