Hello fellow Slopers, it is with heavy heart that I am writing this post regarding the bicycle vandal that lives on 5th street between 8th ave and Prospect Park West. Although I am 85% sure of who has vandalized my bicycle I shall refrain from posting his/her exact name and building number until I am 100%sure and the police arrest them.
How do I know who has vandalized my bicycle? Well allow me to explain. 2 months ago I was approached by a young lady about me chaining my bicycle around a tree on the specific block. The tree in front of her home to be exact. Although the conversation started on a happy note it quickly turned sour when she demanded I stop placing my bicycle on the now infamous. A the conversation became heated her husband came out his home and basically screamed at me to "STOP" chaining my bicycle around the tree in front of their home. He gave me a threatening stare, made a derogatory statement about my sexual preference and dragged his wife inside.
Before my fellow Slopers attack me let me say that I chain my bike around the tree with extreme caution. Not only is the chain I used covered with a cushy plastic material it also is chained on the tree with an unusual amount of slack. To be honest their is a lot of play between the tree and my bike and when I chain it up every night the bike appears like it is just leaning on the tree. Beside my blatant rainbow stickers adorning the frame of my bicycle I can not understand for the life of me what they find so offensive about my actions.
The above being stated I will further state that a month ago I returned to my secured bicycle to find that my bicycle seat was smothered in peanut butter and jelly. When I say smothered, I mean extremely smothered. I had no choice but to throw the entire seat away. I didn't think anything of it and chalked it up to some childish stunts by local punks. Who would of thought that my neighbors were descended from Mussolini himself for the vandalism continued.
1 week ago the vandal got brazen and loosened all the bolts on my bicycle. You can imagine my shock when i grabbed my bike and all the parts started to move this way and that. Hell, the pedals even fell off. Once more I chalked it up to a local A-hole and tightened the parts on my bike and went about my daily chores but something told me that the couple from hell had something to do with this.
Yesterday the final straw was applied to my back and it snapped like a twig. I got to my bicycle and the new seat was smothered in mayonnaise but this time there was a note attached to the bike. Would you believe that the vandal even laminated the note so as to keep the message nice and dry for me. Along with the note was a PB&J, a Mayonnaise jar label and a crude rainbow sticker. Obviously it was the same culprit. The note read as follows:
DO NOT CHAIN YOUR BIKE ON THIS TREE OR ANY OTHER!!!!!
DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER NOW, RAINBOW BRIGHT????????
The local authorities were called but they only served to mock me as they took a useless report. I was assured a detective would be assigned to my case but I know better. I explained to them that I think I was being targeted because of my sexual orientation but they brushed me off and told me that there was no proof of that.
Why do I post this on this forum? Well I want to warn my neighbors of this insidious anti bicycle, anti gay couple who live on the block. They seem intent on bullying me but I assure you I will not cave to these Gestapo type tactics. As of today I have placed my Bamboo framed bicycle in storage unit and started using a cheapo bicycle I picked up a stoop sale. I stripped all the nuts on the bike thus making it almost impossible to loosen any parts on it. I understand that I might be courting trouble but I was taught always stand up to oppression.
If it is war the want by golly it is passive war they will get. I only hope that people will understand my motives when they come across my bicycle.