Need advice for awkward conversation

ruska b

We are friends with our upstairs neighbors--we had our children at the same time, our kids play together, etc. Their son is very active and runs a lot in the house, which is fine b/c I know how boys that age are. However, they don't have any rugs or floor coverings.

How can I ask them to get rugs, or suggest that they get some, or let them know that the noise is affecting us in a way that will hopefully not adversely affect our relationship? They are our neighbors and I truly like them, I just want them to get some rugs.

Any advice appreciated.

irondale center

Try inviting one of the parents to your house while the other parent and the kid are running around upstairs....even if it's just to "take a look at something" or another way to lure them in for 5 minutes

Hope they notice how loud it sounds and then say that some rugs would likely really reduce the noise level.

supreme_ian

well really if you said your "cool" friends with them you should just tell them straight out. esp since your kids are about the same age. its nothing personal (like the fools who live upstairs from me) but just bring it up "like hey you guys need a rug. or 2 - 3- 4- 5 " jokingly but then turn it serious once they see its 1 of those serious jokes

vidro3

yea, just be direct and tell them to get rugs or otherwise pen their kid in.

bohuma

I'd just say to the other mom, "Hi X, this is kind of awkward, but do you realize that when little Johnny runs around, it gets really noisy down here. I know that it's natural for him to run around, but do you think it would be possible to get put some rugs down?"

If your friend needs you to watch little Johnny (or whatever his name is) while she and his dad shop for rugs, make sure you offer.

Make sure that you also have rugs down, think about your downstairs neighbor.

whatchuwant

I agree with ian. A kinda joke/not joking is a great, yet subtle way to get the message across. It makes you seem less of a dick, and if they're smart, they'll get the message.

And if they don't, and you are indeed friends, then I really don't think a sincere, pleasant request from the both of you would be taken as an insult, or disrupt your relationship with them.

Good luck- and be sure to let us know how it turns out!

modsquad

Do you live above somebody also? If you do and they haven't complained yet you might have to throw down carpets anyway just to show what a great and sensitive neighbor you are. It would be a way of opening the question with your upstairs neighbor. You could rent carpets and get rid of them when your friendship sours after your kids end up not liking each other. It is inevitable!
I suggest you blame it on the building also (older buildings with no insulation between thin floors etc.) and offer to share the expense.

shurafa

actually, I do think the direct way is the way to go. Awkward, yes, but best approach overall

opossumqueen

Just print out this thread and slide it under their door

Also, maybe suggest trying a rug in the noisiest spot(s) first before they go all out and see how that helps. It seems like a reasonable request to me and I can be rather sensitive about these things.

Our next door neighbor complained about us grilling (specifically the smoke), which we've mostly done on cold days so far. He asked if we could grill "somewhere else". I have no idea what that means. Our tiny yard just looks like it was designed for grilling and we specifically said that was our plan for it when looking at the place. I guess since I love the smell of grilling, it's hard to imagine griping about closing two windows when I have plenty more on the other side of the house.

What I wanted to say was that we would stop grilling every few weeks or less if he'd get his dog to stop barking incessantly while they are gone during the day, opposite the wall where I work-every day. The poor dog is really sick and so loud I thought it was in our building when we first moved in.

The point of my rambling is that it seems like an issue that has a solution that shouldn't be too inconvenient for anyone.

doctorj

Come over to my place and work out your awkward conversation with me in a shouting match. That way, we'll both be better prepared, you for your upstairs neighbors, me for my downstairs ones.

fancy

Subject: Noisy neighbors

Ask your neighbors, if someone in their family is allergic to carpet. (A lot of children need natural carpet & that can be very expensive).
If the answer is No, ask them to, please put carpet down, because ya da ya da ya da,
If the answer is Yes, then suggest that they put down a sound absorbent floor because the noise is disturbing.
Remember, you can say anything at the right time. Be nice, because your family (probably) isn't noiseless. Sound travels up & down.
Peace :bounce: