Valentines day drama

flux

So I thought I would share a Valentine’s Day story with you guys. Not too long ago I was dating this girl. We were together for almost a year when Valentine’s Day came around. I did not buy her a valentine’s gift and she got so offended that she decided to end the relationship.

A few months after the breakup I get an email from her saying that she met a science teacher a few weeks BEFORE Valentine’s Day and is currently pregnant and about to marry him. She also confessed that she was actually scared that I was going to show up on Valentine’s Day at her house with a gift because the science teacher would certainly show up. She ended the email by saying "my worst day with him is better than the best day with you". She always wanted to be a stay at home mom and the fact that her husband to be was a science teacher making 80k per year was a huge turn on for her.

Fast forward a few years. I am now married to an amazing beautiful woman, have an amazing job in health care, own a big beautiful house and life can't get better. I get a call from my ex.....

She has been married for 2 years with a baby boy and a house in beautiful Staten Island. Turns out her husband is not a science teacher. He was never a science teacher. He never went to college. He got all his money from an inheritance that was running out and he had no choice but confess. He would wake up every morning at 6:30am...put on a suite...and disappear for the day. He would come back in the afternoon with books and lesson plans. He fooled everyone....his wife...his family...his friends. They all believed he was a science teacher.

She took the baby and left him. Moved in with her parents. Got her old job back. He is currently undergoing some psych treatments and has started working at his first job ever (stock boy in a super market...he is 36).

gooner

I don't know why, but I find this story very sad. Not only for the woman, but also for the guy who was deceiving her for so long. Regardless of what happened before, situation can't be easy on her. And it can never be easy to keep a lie going for so long. Had to have taken a toll on him at some level.

Flux, however, seems to totally rock.

carmen

Just goes to show you...
Men suck

whynot_31

Carmen wrote: Just goes to show you...
Men suck

just goes to show you...
No one (regardless of gender) can meet the needs of a needy partner.

...your partner can't be your sole source of support and esteem.

scarlett

First of all, what science teacher makes 80K and wears a suit to school? Maybe a physics professor with good research contracts, but not public school.
Second of all, anyone who expects a gift as a sign of emotion is ridiculous and materialistic.
Ahem, please send all jewelry and flowers via private messenger.

carmen

scarlett wrote: First of all, what science teacher makes 80K and wears a suit to school? Maybe a physics professor with good research contracts, but not public school.
Second of all, anyone who expects a gift as a sign of emotion is ridiculous and materialistic.
Ahem, please send all jewelry and flowers via private messenger.

Agreed on all counts- public school teachers make jack shit.


Also sent scarlett's gifts via my messenger as he will be working tomorrow and needs the money

mougar

Public school teachers certainly don't make that much starting out, but after a decade or two 80,000 isn't that abnormal.

Also, I think that guy is my hero.

whatchuwant

Anyone who dates someone from Staten Island deserves what they get.

But, I feel bad for the baby. Dad's a pathological liar.

scarlett

Nope, not even 20 years later for a science teacher (hardest teacher to hire). There are different caps but I think in NYC it's like 65k max if you have tenure and a masters.

longtimesloper

scarlett wrote: First of all, what science teacher makes 80K and wears a suit to school? Maybe a physics professor with good research contracts, but not public school.
Second of all, anyone who expects a gift as a sign of emotion is ridiculous and materialistic.
Ahem, please send all jewelry and flowers via private messenger.

I know friends who are teachers who easily make that or more, as does my youngest child's teacher (all public school, they don't wear suits to work though).

by the way, did you guys know there is a site where you can look up any city or state employees salary? pretty cool, I looked up my kid's teachers salaries just last week.

Here's the site:

http://seethroughny.net/Payrolls/EmployeeSearch/tabid/69/Default.aspx

Just punch in the name of any teacher or other city or state employee you may know and you can see their base yearly salary.


Oh, and also, I just find this story sad for everyone involved.

longtimesloper

scarlett wrote: Nope, not even 20 years later for a science teacher (hardest teacher to hire). There are different caps but I think in NYC it's like 65k max if you have tenure and a masters.

then why does my child's public elementary school teacher who has been teaching for maybe 10 years (possibly 9) make a base salary (not including any extras) of $75,000.00?

new2hood

I think it's a little sad you needed to tell this story.

mougar

If you are really curious, you can just look at the NYC teacher's salary schedule: http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/CD18AE57-CC05-4016-8BC8-B2BACFC82122/38101/2008SalarySchedule.pdf

This is base for 170 days work and doesn't include the $42 an hour they get for after-school, weekend and summer-school.

scarlett

LongTimeSloper wrote: [quote=scarlett]Nope, not even 20 years later for a science teacher (hardest teacher to hire). There are different caps but I think in NYC it's like 65k max if you have tenure and a masters.

then why does my child's public elementary school teacher who has been teaching for maybe 10 years (possibly 9) make a base salary (not including any extras) of $75,000.00?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! How is that possible? For a regular, public nine month school? Unbelievable. Clearly I am misinformed or else my teacher friends are just cheap and let me buy all the drinks on my nonprofit salary.

longtimesloper

Yeah-scarlett, you are being rooked! My children go to 321, so, yeah, a regular elementary public school.

I even looked up the teacher in the classroom next to one of my kid's, granted, he is older and has been teaching much longer, but his base salary is listed as $95k. And, yes, as Mougar above said, that doesn't include all the extra things they get paid for such as summer schools or special after school programs, etc. etc.

Go to the site I listed and punch in your friend's names, you might get a little surprise as to their salaries! Are they teachers in NYC?

scarlett

OMG. I only looked up two girlfriends but those ladies are sooooooooooooooooooooo buying me drinks.

brooklynpotter

flux, this woman did you a favor: she broke up with you before letting you get involved in all this drama and mishegas.

i know you feel sorry for her, but past behavior is a really good indicator of future behavior. let her be.

as for the guy, well, very little shocks me. (and i don't think, carmen, that men suck. i think that a lot of people suck)

i once dated a guy who told me he was a med student at NYU. he was pretty convincing, till i found out that his classmate "roommates" were actually his elderly parents. and that when he was at "school" that actually meant he was working at bloomingdales' as a waiter in their restaurant.

scarlett

ha! I once dated a guy who told me he did telecommunications somethingerother on Wall Street. Then I ran into him working in a deli on the Upper East Side. He told me he actually works for the CIA for homeland security. Um, yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.

brooklynpotter

i also know a woman who was dating someone seriously and he said he was moving to florida. they had a huge goodbye and she was going to wrap things up at her job and come meet him in a few months. she never got to visit him because he'd come to visit her... why? because he moved FOUR BLOCKS AWAY and was engaged to someone else

whynot_31

scarlett wrote: ha! I once dated a guy who told me he did telecommunications somethingerother on Wall Street. Then I ran into him working in a deli on the Upper East Side. He told me he actually works for the CIA for homeland security. Um, yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Rave: Scarlett was a Bond Girl!

stacey

Subject: Re: Valentines day drama

flux wrote: I am now married to an amazing beautiful woman, have an amazing job in health care, own a big beautiful house and life can't get better.

I always believe that great situations come out of shitty ones and here is the proof.

My husband was dating a girl before me who was a real bitch and took advantage of his kindness and kept stringing him along. Then he met me. We have been married for 20 beautiful years and have a fantastic 12year old son.

longtimesloper

scarlett wrote: OMG. I only looked up two girlfriends but those ladies are sooooooooooooooooooooo buying me drinks.

I guess they didn't know about that site

supreme_ian

FUCK HER

your better off.. come hang with me for a night i'll introduce you to some of my single lady friends !!

scarlett

Oh I know one of your single lady friends - and she has never purchased me a bevvy!!!!!!

nonhipoldbklynchick

I think the story is very sad on many levels. As far as teacher salaries, the following quote is not completely true.....


"This is base for 170 days work and doesn't include the $42 an hour they get for after-school, weekend and summer-school."

The school year is always more then 180 days and teachers do hours upon hours of work at home. If anyone has a story of a teacher who does NOT take home work those teachers do not care about their students, school, or job. Everyone can share tales of bad workers in all professions, a dedicated teacher works MUCH more then the hours in the school building!!

I live with a teacher, believe me I know......

aeiou

I have learned some lessons along the way either personally or through my friends' dating horror stories.

Always make sure you see where somebody lives. Somebody who won't take you to their home/apartment is hiding something - could be a spouse or boy/girlfriend, or roommates, or other lies about their living arrangements.

Do a little due diligence. Google them. I'm not saying you should stalk anybody, but a little research can save you a lot of heartache.

brooklynpotter

Flexichick wrote: I have learned some lessons along the way either personally or through my friends' dating horror stories.

Always make sure you see where somebody lives. Somebody who won't take you to their home/apartment is hiding something - could be a spouse or boy/girlfriend, or roommates, or other lies about their living arrangements.

Do a little due diligence. Google them. I'm not saying you should stalk anybody, but a little research can save you a lot of heartache.

and where they work.

use google, zabasearch, whatever you can.

it may sound ridiculous, but i know TONS of people (men and women) who have ended up dating absolute liars. a little work on your end saves a whole lot of pain.

carmen

nonhipoldbklynchick wrote: I think the story is very sad on many levels. As far as teacher salaries, the following quote is not completely true.....


"This is base for 170 days work and doesn't include the $42 an hour they get for after-school, weekend and summer-school."

The school year is always more then 180 days and teachers do hours upon hours of work at home. If anyone has a story of a teacher who does NOT take home work those teachers do not care about their students, school, or job. Everyone can share tales of bad workers in all professions, a dedicated teacher works MUCH more then the hours in the school building!!

I live with a teacher, believe me I know......

Not to say that teachers don't have rough jobs, BUT the most entry level teacher making about 46k a year working 10 hour days still works out to about $26 an hour...which is about a 54k salary at a normal 40 hour a week, 50 week a year kind of job. Thats STARTING pay. Plus it leaves them every weekend and all school breaks which is WAY more vacation than any job I've had.

I come from a family of teacher (special ed mostly) so I know the hell most teachers go through and the amount of work you take home...however, every job I've ever had making any reasonable amount of money required overtime (almost always unpaid) and occasional late nights, weekends and 14 hour days...with no promise of a 2-3 month vacation over the summer.

Teachers have an exceptionally important job, I am not denying that... but the pay in NYC is pretty damn good for the hours they work (in contrast, my mother capped out her salary in NC as a BEH special ed teacher at a whopping 34k after 13 years of experience.)




**I dont mean to turn this into a pissing contest about who's job has longer hours or pays worse...I'm just getting kind of tired of my teacher friends bitching constantly about their terrible hours when they have to do a lesson plan or two over the weekend.

brooklynpotter

my sister in law is an nyc schoolteacher; last year one of her students, in PRE-K, tried to strangle her. very forcefully.

i don't think there's any amount of $$ that makes up for that. they're not teaching in kansas

carmen

brooklynpotter wrote: my sister in law is an nyc schoolteacher; last year one of her students, in PRE-K, tried to strangle her. very forcefully.

i don't think there's any amount of $$ that makes up for that. they're not teaching in kansas

That shit happens everywhere though. My mom has been attacked in every state she's worked...in Mass it was a little kid (like 8 or somehting) but in NC it was a 19 yr old highschool junior. My mother is 5'2 and about 100 lbs. This kid [man] was over 6 feet tall. He came at her with a pair of scissors and cornered her, the sherrif came in and wrestled him into the bathroom attached to their resource room where he proceeded to RIP THE SINK OFF OF THE WALL and attempt to throw it through the window to escape. Most recently one of her schitzo students took apart her cushioned chair and put tacks in the cushions (he's in 6th grade.)

She makes 29k working in Midland, Texas.

flux

His Salary is not the debate. He lied on so many levels. His lies were very well tought out and detailed. I was very surprised at the girl for not finding out sooner. I asked her if she saw his paystubs and he said that he had direct deposit. He had an answer for everything. I heared of stories where guys have lied to a girl, but never to this extent!

I asked her what he did during the days he was suppose to be in school teaching. She said that he told her that it was either walking around the mall or at a library. She also found an outstanding phone bill to a sex phone line (over $10,000).

The best revenge is living well. I don't have to rub anything in her face. She has done enough damage herself. She has seen my wife/house/new cars and is very aware that her life would have been very different if she acted differently. But as someone else mentioned earlier, things happen for a reason. I have met my wife shortly after the incident and can't imagine being with someone else.