Found a Baby Squirrel

jeffrey

And to bring it all full circle...

independent mind

Baby Squirrel Diaries

Entry 1: My first mistake was to get in the car. As soon as the car left Park Slope, the old lady told me that I'm being sent to 'Group 4' in Ayelsbury--the roughest place upstate. Apparently its a crime in this day and age to have no parents in the city. Ayelsbury is the sort of place where no-one gives a damn if a baby squirrel get shanked or a baby squirrel shanks a sibling.

I asked her when I can get out, and she said that my Facility License Eligibility Date could come up as early as next nut-season, till then I was going to have to work shifts at the laundry and whittling table to get my generic state-issued pedialyte. I can only hope to get the esbilyte at the canteen, I'd better work up my strength.

brooklyngigcenter

jeffrey wrote: And to bring it all full circle...

Best post of the month!

whynot_31

independent mind wrote: Baby Squirrel Diaries

Entry 1: My first mistake was to get in the car. As soon as the car left Park Slope, the old lady told me that I'm being sent to 'Group 4' in Ayelsbury--the roughest place upstate. Apparently its a crime in this day and age to have no parents in the city. Ayelsbury is the sort of place where no-one gives a damn if a baby squirrel get shanked or a baby squirrel shanks a sibling.

I asked her when I can get out, and she said that my Facility License Eligibility Date could come up as early as next nut-season, till then I was going to have to work shifts at the laundry and whittling table to get my generic state-issued pedialyte. I can only hope to get the esbilyte at the canteen, I'd better work up my strength.

Entry 2: Upon arriving upstate I was given a comprehensive psycho-social and medical exam. Although I answered all of the questions to the best of my knowledge, I had to answer the same questions over and over to each staff member I met.

I was then assigned a case worker, who told me that (due to the city's preference for something she called "family-based, short-term, evidence-based, community centered and neighborhood based, culturally sensitive, crisis intervention and stabilization services"), I would be able to reside in residential care for a maximum of one year. After that, I would be given my choice of foster families to live with.

I was informed that the following foster families would be available:
1. A wild pack of dogs.
2. A group of cats.
3. A center providing HIV vaccine clinical trials.

This evening I met a fellow squirrel, who told me that he had heard rumors of a squirrel recently escaping to live in Trump State Park.

I told him this could not be true, NY State would never accept money to name a state park after an obnoxious, still alive person.

Then I went to bed.

raw

blinktoe wrote: Update on the baby squirrel: the woman came to get him, and he's living happily upstate..

Until November when he's freezing his tail off.

blinktoe wrote:
He would have "siblings"..

Those upstate country bumpkin squirrels are NOT blood related by a long shot. City squirrels are far more intelligent and attractive than country squirrels.

blinktoe wrote:
I was going to take up some of the local people on their offers if she didn't show. She did, though, and was happy to have him.
.

She is obviously NUTS and going to eat that poor baby squirrel. I say we hunt her down before it's too late and bring him back to his proper 'hood. He is OUR squirrel!!!

caseopele

blinktoe, you are awesome. That bebbeh sqwerl was very lucky to have found you! And I'm so glad that everything worked out for the best. I "acquired" a baby squirrel that I took care of for 6 days before he went to a wildlife rehabber, he was adorable. Good job!