MERGED: 5th Ave Deli, and the charming men therein

mypasswordwontwork

Does anyone else use 5th Avenue Market on 5th Avenue on the block before Union (I forgot the name of the street - Sackett? Carroll?). Its the 24 hour deli/corner store that seems to sell almost anything. Run by some Yemeni guys.

I was just wondering if anyone else - especially female - has had problems with the guys who work there? Most of them are super-friendly but one of them has been behaving in a way that is increasingly disturbing. Instead of giving me my change, he grasps my hand and laughs and hten does it again. When I try to go in the door of the store, he stands in the doorway and tries to touch some part of my body, and then laughs and lets me through. Its like he is trying to flirt and be funny but he does it in a really sinister way and his behavior is totally inappropriate. I'm curious to know if anyone else has had interactions with the staff in that store.

brooklynpotter

i don't think you should go in there any longer

mypasswordwontwork

BP, I was curious to know whether the dude is singling me out for sleazy and vomitous advances or whether that is merely the way he acts around all the girls. The annoying thing is that its two blocks from my apartment and its aLwAys open so on occasions when I've run out of bathroom tissue, bottled water or whatever, its so easy to just slip in there. But today as I was perusing kitchen towel at the back of the store, I saw him standing in the front of the store just staring and staring at me. I had the urge to drop the kitchen towel and run away as fast as i could. The only consolation is that he is very short and looks like he ways, at most, 130 lbs. Presumably I could kick his ass....

mypasswordwontwork

BP, I was curious to know whether the dude is singling me out for sleazy and vomitous advances or whether that is merely the way he acts around all the girls. The annoying thing is that its two blocks from my apartment and its aLwAys open so on occasions when I've run out of bathroom tissue, bottled water or whatever, its so easy to just slip in there. But today as I was perusing kitchen towel at the back of the store, I saw him standing in the front of the store just staring and staring at me. I had the urge to drop the kitchen towel and run away as fast as i could. The only consolation is that he is very short and looks like he ways, at most, 130 lbs. Presumably I could kick his ass....

pitu

I LOVE that deli. The guys *are* really friendly, but we've only seen it in a nice way, not the creepy version you describe. And no touching.
Did you tell that guy to cut it out?
If you really want to keep going there, I'd tell one of the other guys in the place too, 'cause it really is a great deli. Clear communication . . .

brooklynpotter

mypasswordwontwork wrote: BP, I was curious to know whether the dude is singling me out for sleazy and vomitous advances or whether that is merely the way he acts around all the girls. The annoying thing is that its two blocks from my apartment and its aLwAys open so on occasions when I've run out of bathroom tissue, bottled water or whatever, its so easy to just slip in there. But today as I was perusing kitchen towel at the back of the store, I saw him standing in the front of the store just staring and staring at me. I had the urge to drop the kitchen towel and run away as fast as i could. The only consolation is that he is very short and looks like he ways, at most, 130 lbs. Presumably I could kick his ass....

regardless of whether it's just you or everyone, it's still not appropriate. why put yourself in that position?

rshepherd

Two choices - either don't go there or tell the guy in no uncertain terms to get his flipping hands off of you. If you haven't mastered the "if you don't stop touching me immediately, I am seriously going to hurt you" look, you need to. If not, just say "get your hands off of me" however you need to.

MOD

I love that place. It's so sad that he's creeping you out, but I can see where you're coming from.

I live right by there too and my boyfriend and I are always going there for last minute things: cheese, milk, TP, beer, sandwiches (late at night -very tasty!). It's open all the time, even on holidays. It's clean looking and the guys behind the counter are always super nice to me, so are the cooks.

I know the guy you're talking about. He's kinda short and thin. He flirts with me too, but never outright and mostly I just get a friendly smile and hello from him. I think he's like that with every girl. I've seen him walking to work sometimes and he often asks me how I'm doing. I always thought he seemed shy?!? Maybe he’s just really awkward and doesn’t realize he’s coming off creepy?

Nevertheless, he shouldn't be staring and touching you! It's totally wrong, but he might not know that it's inappropriate. It such a great little market, you should just let him know that it bothers you, or like Flexi said, give him the don’t f**k with me look. Maybe go in there with a guy friend and have him give the guy a dirty look.

Makes me want to go in there and give him the evil eye for ya :evil:

mypasswordwontwork

Mamacita, yes that's the guy! And you're right he does seem shy. Sort of shy and lecherous at the same time. How I think it started is that there's another man who is ALWAYS in there. He's dark haired, darkish skinned, often wears a baseball cap and has a big smile. He has good social skills and laughs and jokes with people who go in there. He often makes me laugh and we have a friendly banter when I go in there. Now this other, sinister guy watches all this laughign and joking going on and its like he is trying to copy the guy with the good social skills - but he just does it in a really creepy way. One time he was standing right in front of the ATM and I asked him if he could move so that I could use the ATM. He said, "No, hahaha" and I gave a tired smile and thought he would move. But instead he stood in front of the ATM for quite a long time just staring at me. He does the same when I try to walk in the door of the store. I say "Hi there. Excuse me" so that he'll let me through but he goes, "no, hahaha" and just stands there blocking my path or darting about so that his body touches me. And God forbid when he is actually cashiering because when I put out my hand to receive my change he laughs and just grips my hand and stares at me thinking this is hugely funny to pretend to refuse to give me my change. I was CLEARLY pissed the last time and then he looked hurt. Freakin weirdo.

anonymous

Flexichick wrote: Two choices - either don't go there or tell the guy in no uncertain terms to get his flipping hands off of you. If you haven't mastered the "if you don't stop touching me immediately, I am seriously going to hurt you" look, you need to. If not, just say "get your hands off of me" however you need to.

This is very true. Ask any guy, and the only reliable way to ascertain whether or not a girl likes you is to touch her casually in some way. If she seems at all threatened or unhappy you are touching her, case closed you have no chance. If this guy is not from your same social world (ie hip brooklyn) he may not have picked up on this girl's objections.

Historically, touching hands is how this game is played and if she didn't seem uncomfortable with him touching her hand before who knows what is going through his head now.

So ladies, there is no need to feel threatened so much you would freak out and post a note here - but, if a guy is making you feel uncomfortable, SAY SOMETHING!

anonymous

mypasswordwontwork wrote: I was CLEARLY pissed the last time and then he looked hurt. Freakin weirdo.

You're obviously single. For christ's sake, have a heart. It's Christmas time. Have pity on a man who is probably poor and not even from this country, and probably a bit lonely. He didn't pull a gun, he didn't threaten you, he was in his own way trying to express his interest in you.

Take it as a compliment. Someday, you're going to be old and ugly, and probably single then too, and no man is going to express any interest in you. Enjoy your youth and beauty while you have it!

mypasswordwontwork

Anonymous wrote: [quote=mypasswordwontwork] I was CLEARLY pissed the last time and then he looked hurt. Freakin weirdo.

You're obviously single. For christ's sake, have a heart. It's Christmas time. Have pity on a man who is probably poor and not even from this country, and probably a bit lonely. He didn't pull a gun, he didn't threaten you, he was in his own way trying to express his interest in you.

Take it as a compliment. Someday, you're going to be old and ugly, and probably single then too, and no man is going to express any interest in you. Enjoy your youth and beauty while you have it!


Unsurprising that you chose to post this "gem" as a Guest. And while I am unmarried, I am not without a man, if that's what you're implying. I just don't feel the need to have him accompany me every time I go to the local deli.

MOD

mypasswordwontwork wrote: [quote=Anonymous][quote=mypasswordwontwork] I was CLEARLY pissed the last time and then he looked hurt. Freakin weirdo.

You're obviously single. For christ's sake, have a heart. It's Christmas time. Have pity on a man who is probably poor and not even from this country, and probably a bit lonely. He didn't pull a gun, he didn't threaten you, he was in his own way trying to express his interest in you.

Take it as a compliment. Someday, you're going to be old and ugly, and probably single then too, and no man is going to express any interest in you. Enjoy your youth and beauty while you have it!


Unsurprising that you chose to post this "gem" as a Guest. And while I am unmarried, I am not without a man, if that's what you're implying. I just don't feel the need to have him accompany me every time I go to the local deli.


THAT'S RIGHT!!

Stupid guest.

Mypasswordwontwork, don't listen to him. He's probably the guy FROM the market!

Ha! Paranoia aside, it's messed up that you have to deal with this and I don't think you're "freaking out". This forum is about a lot of things, one of them is expressing your concerns and receiving advice from your fellow friends and community on the board.

I found your post to be very helpful. He hasn't been so forward with me, maybe it's because I'm losing my ""youth and beauty" *but* he did do that "I don't want to give you your change" trick once. So, now I know not to encourage him in anyway, for instance, laughing it off.

:x :evil: :twisted: :evil:

anonymous

Hi, this is Manny from 5th Ave MArket. BEfore I moved to US I was told AMerican girls like it a lot. This girl who i think was complainging she look like she want it and she wear jeans very tight in the ass. Just doing my job as a male I am.

Mamacita wrote: [quote=mypasswordwontwork][quote=Anonymous][quote=mypasswordwontwork] I was CLEARLY pissed the last time and then he looked hurt. Freakin weirdo.

You're obviously single. For christ's sake, have a heart. It's Christmas time. Have pity on a man who is probably poor and not even from this country, and probably a bit lonely. He didn't pull a gun, he didn't threaten you, he was in his own way trying to express his interest in you.

Take it as a compliment. Someday, you're going to be old and ugly, and probably single then too, and no man is going to express any interest in you. Enjoy your youth and beauty while you have it!


Unsurprising that you chose to post this "gem" as a Guest. And while I am unmarried, I am not without a man, if that's what you're implying. I just don't feel the need to have him accompany me every time I go to the local deli.


THAT'S RIGHT!!

Stupid guest.

Mypasswordwontwork, don't listen to him. He's probably the guy FROM the market!

Ha! Paranoia aside, it's messed up that you have to deal with this and I don't think you're "freaking out". This forum is about a lot of things, one of them is expressing your concerns and receiving advice from your fellow friends and community on the board.

I found your post to be very helpful. He hasn't been so forward with me, maybe it's because I'm losing my ""youth and beauty" *but* he did do that "I don't want to give you your change" trick once. So, now I know not to encourage him in anyway, for instance, laughing it off.

:x :evil: :twisted: :evil:

neatobazeato

Subject: The 5th Ave Deli, and the charming men therein

Discuss! I love this place. I feel so happy and comforted knowing I am being so directly marketed to. It's like they peered into my mind and knew exactly which type of pancetta to have next to the Ciao Bella...
Hah, I kid, but as a Sloper I both laugh at and perpetuate our yuppie stereotype.
Seriously, the best part about it is the guys who work there. They're all awesome. I especially have a soft spot for Mo, the night cashier guy.

pitu

I agree. The overnight guy manages to be pleasant at 5 or 6am, which is incredible.

I think their merchandising is brilliant. Places that don't do what they're doing are outtabiz - like the market one block down that closed within months, and is now a restaurant. The place that tanked was catering to an imaginary high end, while 5th Ave Deli gets the actual needs of the neighbors met.
woo!

A new deli has opened by the subway (Union/4th Ave), that looks to be aiming upmarket. Someone told me they're owned by the same people who have the deli right across the ave, which is decidedly low end. Interesting...

printservicework

What is the cross street of this deli?

neatobazeato

it's at 5th Ave and Berkeley. Too bad about Fresh Fields (the guy who owned it had very high idealistic hopes...it was right next to my apartment so I got to see the rise and fall) but between 5th Ave Deli, Union Market, and Key Foods, every possible niche is covered. basically, if you like to cook, or eat, or buy things, you should live on my corner. actually, that goes for any corner in park slope.

bklyngirl

Subject: Re: The 5th Ave Deli, and the charming men therein

neatobazeato wrote: Discuss! I love this place. I feel so happy and comforted knowing I am being so directly marketed to. It's like they peered into my mind and knew exactly which type of pancetta to have next to the Ciao Bella...
Hah, I kid, but as a Sloper I both laugh at and perpetuate our yuppie stereotype.
Seriously, the best part about it is the guys who work there. They're all awesome. I especially have a soft spot for Mo, the night cashier guy.

Looking sat the time of this post, and admiring it's wit, I can only say:

friends don't let friends drink and post. But I will visit the deli if you can remember it's cross-street.

parkslopegal

I have the same problem! First it started w the guy wearing the baseball cap and big smile, he always tells me has a big crush on me, that I'm the one for him etc etc. I am single but told him a long time ago that I have a bf. he still tries to invite himself over to my place for dinner, gave me chocolates for valentines day etc. He seems very nice but it's too much to deal with everytime you need some milk. Then, just like you said there is the younger guy who tries to get in on the action by blocking the door. He's just plain annoying. I have avoided going in there b/c I can't deal with it anymore and I live right on Berkeley and 5th! It really sucks b/c they carry great stuff in there.

pantalones

Subject: Re: The 5th Ave Deli, and the charming men therein

I also love this deli. The guys have always been nice towards me and my friends. especially after closing the bar and walking to get a nice snack. it has replaced Bageltique for me. and that says a lot! I have never had a problem with the guys who are there, but also I am not usually there during the daytime - so that may be another story. I do however miss the Ms. Pacman machine that used to be in the back of the store when it was the old bodega. in any case, you can't just blow it off or try to avoid it nicely since he is still making you uncomfortable. tell him to stop.

the chipster

Nice. Nice. jesus christ people! Ted Bundy was nice. It is an affectation, and I am so sick of people excusing inappropriate behavior with that simplistic and STUPID defense. Wouldn't you love to hear what they really think of you white women? Hoo Ha!
The guy who molests kids? He's nice! The serial killer next door! Was so nice! And when you meet me? I"ll be nice!

pitu

The Chipster wrote: Nice. Nice. jesus christ people! Ted Bundy was nice. It is an affectation, and I am so sick of people excusing inappropriate behavior with that simplistic and STUPID defense. Wouldn't you love to hear what they really think of you white women? Hoo Ha!
The guy who molests kids? He's nice! The serial killer next door! Was so nice! And when you meet me? I"ll be nice!

a little context:
the original poster, "mypasswordwontwork", self-proclaimed "Media Whore in every sense possible" was known on these boards for presenting sexually provocative topics and lying alot. S/he was eventually banned for some trolling behavior or other.
So, if that's what you're going on Chipster, you might wish to rethink.

I find the guys in this deli friendly and respectful. As does my girlfriend.

the chipster

Once again, I find this, "If it didn't happen to me" or "If I didn't see it" or "I"ve been driving drunk for years and nothing ever happened--" sort of thinking sooooo misguided. Take a lesson. These men, all of middle eastern descent, do NOT respect you as they smile and wink and touch your hand. Duh. I have had very close encounters with them...and yet, I still shop there cuz they got the hot samwiches at 2am..I do not excuse their behavior though, and I know I'm not the only one they've harrassed.

pitu

The Chipster wrote: Once again, I find this, "If it didn't happen to me" or "If I didn't see it" or "I"ve been driving drunk for years and nothing ever happened--" sort of thinking sooooo misguided. Take a lesson. These men, all of middle eastern descent, do NOT respect you as they smile and wink and touch your hand. Duh. I have had very close encounters with them...and yet, I still shop there cuz they got the hot samwiches at 2am..I do not excuse their behavior though, and I know I'm not the only one they've harrassed.

From your earlier post, I take it you have not had any particular interaction with these particular guys at this particular deli.
Which makes me think about what it means to stereotype, and the dangers of engaging in that kind of thinking.

apollonia666

The Chipster wrote: Once again, I find this, "If it didn't happen to me" or "If I didn't see it" or "I"ve been driving drunk for years and nothing ever happened--" sort of thinking sooooo misguided. Take a lesson. These men, all of middle eastern descent, do NOT respect you as they smile and wink and touch your hand. Duh. I have had very close encounters with them...and yet, I still shop there cuz they got the hot samwiches at 2am..I do not excuse their behavior though, and I know I'm not the only one they've harrassed.

May I ask what their being of middle eastern descent has to do with anything, and why you felt it necessary to point out? I just don't get why it's relevant.

the chipster

YAY!!! I couldn't wait for the race baiting to begin--THAT"S why I pointed out what nobody else has. If these were creepy white guys--no woman would've put up with it.

University of Oslo, in 2001 said that “Norwegian women must take their share of responsibility for these rapes” because Muslim men found their manner of dress provocative. The professor’s conclusion was not that Muslim men living in the West needed to adjust to Western norms, but the exact opposite: “Norwegian women must realize that we live in a Multicultural society and adapt themselves to it.”

OK, so just dress appropriately when picking up your t.p. Especially if you're blonde, like me.

Fhttp://gatesofvienna.blogspot.com/2006/07/norwegian-authorities-still-covering.html

karl the druid

Subject: a bridge too foreign

affirmative, regardless of race, creed or region, cultural conflicts are difficult bridges to cross unless former cultural formalities and insights are abandoned

for example look at the recent rift between eastwestlandics and soutthlandics

when one crosses the bridge from eastwestland in search of their first home or an idea of lifestyle they may not be aware that it is customary, here in southland, to let someone know directly when they have become pestulant

level 4 southlandics can not read minds, they are not magical creatures

instead it's customery for eastwestlandics to tell everyone, except that southlander about their pestulant manner bating other new villagers to burn down the castle

rhetorical question: resulting in psuedo-race bating, should we at all respect this method of voicing one's grievance?

Now they stood beside the treasure
On the mountain dark and red
Turned the stone and looked beneath it...
"Peace on Earth" was all it said.
-- D. Potter and B. Lambert

the chipster

Brilliant reply, See, I am a Flatlander, seeking the comfort of my 2 dimensional homeland. *sigh*

karl the druid

perhaps you need a world with more dimension

like a boat that's lost its mooring at night, one will not find Flatland by the light of psuedo-race bating

roll 6 for matrix damage and then 12 for damage

the chipster

From Idiocracy,"Go way, I'm bating."
Works better this way though.