hot tea spilled on infant?

brooke lynn knight

quig wrote: [quote=Brooke Lynn Knight][quote=quig]Do any companies offer paternity leave?

According to the provisions of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), fathers get the same amount of leave as mothers, should they wish to take it -- 6 weeks at partial pay is mandated for all but small mom-and-pop companies.

Most fathers choose not to take their leave. Perhaps being at home with a newborn rattles them; perhaps they're afraid that they will harm their career (a very realistic fear, alas). One guy at my office made the very unusual move of actually taking his FMLA leave to help his wife with their third child in five years. While he was gone, all sorts of supposedly liberal, liberated women badmouthed him for ditching his job to be with his wife. Jeez, what's a guy to do? They're emotionally distant bums if they don't help with the kids, and pantywaist work-slackers if they do. </hijack>

(My husband took off 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid. I'm sure it didn't help his career, but fuck 'em. They've got their priorities; he's got his.)



Actually your husband was very lucky. The 6 weeks paid is not mandated for fathers. only the 12 weeks upaid unless you can use sick days and vacation days. FMLA only covers companys w/ more than 50 employees, so not just mom and pops are exempt.

The only paid time required is disability for the mother, anthing additional is unpaid unless your company is more generous.

I did get things a bit mixed up. The dad does not get paid leave, as you said, but the mother doesn't get the payment under FMLA -- it's disability, as you suggested.

Anyway, my husband wasn't so much lucky as determined, single-minded, persistent, and as flexible as possible within the parameters of what he needed. It didn't hurt that he'd been at that job a very long time and accumulated a lot of trust and good will. We ended up working a leave where we were both with the baby for the first month, I was with the baby for the next three months (because I'm a valued employee and was able to wheedle a total of 4 months' leave), and then he stayed home for two months. So we had six months of just us taking care of the kid.

Obviously, we were quite lucky that our circumstances allowed us to do that. It was a financial hardship, but we survived. I'll earn more money, but I'll never have those early months with my son again, and I'm really glad I made the necessary sacrifices to stay with him.

raw

armchair_warrior wrote: if i had a kid, i'll love to stay home with them/

Me too. Let's find us some babies!