An apology to attorney Dan Mitchell

slopehead

Dan, even though you and I only met for a brief moment a mere ten minutes ago, I feel I may owe you an apology. You see, when you approached me on the corner of Carroll and 6th I was loaded down with groceries having just come from the Coop, so I may have been a bit abrupt. And when you planted yourself in front of me and introduced yourself as "Attorney Dan Mitchell" and launched into your bit about having just run out of gas and needing to borrow $10 and being embarrassed and asking for my cell phone number so you could of course return the $10 immediately upon gassing up your car, well I guess I could've listened a while longer before walking around you. But somehow the combination of your discount suit and a whiff of cheap cologne made me decide to get moving. I realize now I made a snap judgment that maybe you weren't really an attorney in a terrible predicament. But upon further reflection I have to admit that the business card you flashed at me did kinda look real - though I could swear it had someone else's name on it. Still, perhaps I was too quick to judge. So just in case, I hereby issue a sincere apology to you, attorney Dan Mitchell. I hope some generous soul will dig deep and deliver that $10 you so desperately need to get gas for your car so you can get home to wherever it is that you live.

brooke lynn knight

Oh my gosh! Have you noticed what an epidemic this is among hard-working professional folks? Every bus and train station is just full of well-dressed people with briefcases and such who just happen to have no cash, no credit cards, and no friends, acquaintances, relatives, or colleagues they could contact to help them get home to Upper Montclair or wherever! It's so sad! I blame Bush!

Anyway, how cruel of you to doubt Dan's story. He's a lawyer, for God's sake, and if you can't trust a lawyer to spend your $10 wisely, well, who can you trust?

frugalandhep

I hope you got home and googled "Attorney Dan Mitchell" to authenticate his identity.

Could be a case of identity theft for the real Dan Mitchell!

livetotravel

There is a terrible oversupply of attorneys in NYC based on the false assumption that a law degree will put you on the road to riches. That combined with the highest gas prices in our humble nation's history makes Attorney Dan Mitchell's story ring pathetically true. I for one will be seeking out underemployed gas-less attorneys to lend a helping hand to.

BTW, I wonder if Dan had just driven in from Milwaukee?
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/0/687/BA2

ljnd

Last year, a guy came to my door on a Sunday evening. He said he had just moved into a building where I knew the owner had died a few months before, a few houses up from me. This guy was in a panic - he said his kid had asthma and needed medicine, and Neergaard didn't have him on file yet, and could I help him out, and he'd return the money in a few hours when his wife got home...Needless to say, I "lent" him $100.

Never saw him again.

Of course. I kind of suspected at the time, but then again....He knew the neighborhood so well, and I know how it is when your insurance isn't on file, and I know how it is with Neergaard being open 24/7....

All I'm saying is, that's the one con that's worked with me. You gotta know the neighborhood and make yourself out to be one of us. And never show your face again. It's a one-shot.

Hope that $100 was worth it.

brooke lynn knight

If anyone came to me in a panic and told me that they urgently needed some asthma medicine for their kid and couldn't wait even one or two hours, I'd point them right to Methodist. You don't mess around with a serious asthma attack.

Just so y'all have a nice, helpful response in case this gentleman is still around collecting donations for the Fictitious Child, Imaginary Disease Fund.

slopehead

In the future I shall quickly open my wallet to any Attorney-In-Need who presents himself or herself to me. I feel I may have judged Attorney Dan Mitchell too harshly and now I must live with that guilt.

I actually did try to Google him when I returned home but came up empty. I'm intrigued by the Milwaukee connection though. Could it be that Attorney Dan Mitchell grew desperate enough to give up his practice in Wisconsin and drive 900 miles east before running out of gas and money in Park Slope, Brooklyn? Sadly I may never know what caused this radical and, some would say, daring escapade.

8thandprez

sounds like a tremendous scam to me. an "attorney" who has a car but apparently no atm card? come on....

erikka

I would have made him give me a return on my investment by changing his name to "taxi driver Dan Mitchell" for the day.

MOD

8thandPrez wrote: sounds like a tremendous scam to me. an "attorney" who has a car but apparently no atm card? come on....

Yeeeah, hence the sarcasm.
Hee hee good one Slopehead

drano

Heh heh...the asthma thing reminds me of this girl downtown that used to beg to finance her brother's dialysis; she was really annoying but I would give her a couple bucks now and then. Anyhow, I happened to watch some docu on PBS about panhandling and part of it was on her! She actually told her story for the camera, and then they interviewed her mother (gotcha!) who was basically like, "I don't know WTF she is doing all day, but I can tell you that her brother is in perfect health." That kinda ruined me for any other sob stories I might hear from individuals in the street. She tried to make a go of it for a few more days, but word got around and I guess she had to change her territory.

mixergirl

Yeeeah, hence the sarcasm

Mamacita, ever thought that maybe that poster was being sarcastic? :P

Thanks slopehead for the hillarious (and apparently sarcastic) post!

new2slope

I was once approached by a "normal" looking fellow on the Upper West Side late at night as I exited a taxi. I didn't believe his story about how his briefcase was stolen while he was at the Starbucks around the corner and he just needed money to take a train back to wherever he lived. I mean, if he were just wasting time until his train departed, why was he so far from Penn Station? His train pass was in his wallet which was in his briefcase. He said he went to the police and they took a report but couldn't give him any money to get home. I didn't have much money on me, but gave him $7. He said he'd repay me, but I didn't take his business card (according to him, he worked at Morgan Stanley or one of those big financial companies and could of course repay me no problem). I think he even showed me his fancy watch to prove how legit he was. I was (and still am) angry that he approached me, a solo woman, late at night, on a side street as I was about to enter my apartment. I guess part of his ploy was to scare me into giving him money b/c what would happen if I didn't? Probably nothing, but nobody was around to see if something were to.

Another time, in Lisbon, a young guy came up to me and my husband begging for money to get to the southern part of the country (where we were also heading) to meet up with his friends, blah blah blah. My husband gave him money and I got angry because, firstly, I felt he was obviously scamming us and secondly, if my husband believed his story, why fund his wonderful vacation around Portugal? If you're that hard up, ask for money for a sandwich, not for a trip to the beach! I guess it's all about having a "believable" (and rehearsed) story full of details to tell so people don't have time to truly think about whether they are being taken advantage of or not.

drunken teenager

The kid with asthma needing medicine is so old that it is practically an urban legend.

germfree!

All sarcasm aside, I think the number of lawyers in this neighbourhood in dire need of money is a sad indictment of our society.

Oh. Did someone say that already?

ljnd

The kid with asthma needing medicine is so old that it is practically an urban legend.

I'm gullible.

1st_streeter

7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

daver

germfree! wrote: All sarcasm aside, I think the number of lawyers in this neighbourhood in dire need of money is a sad indictment of our society.

Oh. Did someone say that already?

What was that old joke?

What do you call a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start...

drano

1st_Streeter wrote: 7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

Aw, what's wrong with a friendly compliment?

slopehead

Because the feeling is that it's not just a compliment for a compliment's sake - it seems to me if you acknowledge it, you're supposed to fork over a quarter. Maybe I've been misunderstanding the panhandler motives.

But Attorney Dan Mitchell was no panhandler - he was a good old con man, a somewhat rarer breed I believe. I always wonder if these cons work it full-time, or if they're just filling in on a part-time basis when they need pocket money. One would think if they have the capacity to attempt these scams that they could actually land a real job that would be a lot less hassle. I mean, conning has to be exhausting after a while, right?

Drano wrote: [quote=1st_Streeter]7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

Aw, what's wrong with a friendly compliment?

frugalandhep

1st_Streeter wrote: 7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

I haven't experienced this much on 7th ave. Do I just go to the slope at the wrong (or right?) time?

drano

frugalandhep wrote: [quote=1st_Streeter]7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

I haven't experienced this much on 7th ave. Do I just go to the slope at the wrong (or right?) time?

There are a pretty fair number of panhandlers from Flatbush up until 2nd street, then almost none for whatever reason.

There has been a big uptick in people from all walks of life looking to bum smokes though; I could easily give away more than I consume. Bottom line is: If I know you, you can has cigarette; if I do not, you may not. And if you wish to buy a smoke, don't talk to me - go to a store.

nuclear redaction

Drano wrote: There has been a big uptick in people from all walks of life looking to bum smokes though; I could easily give away more than I consume. Bottom line is: If I know you, you can has cigarette; if I do not, you may not. And if you wish to buy a smoke, don't talk to me - go to a store.

Oh God this drives me crazy. I've encountered several people -- total strangers to me -- who asked to bum a cigarette from me, and when I told them I don't smoke (which is the truth), they either basically called me a liar or followed me down the street wheedling and begging. As far as I'm concerned, if you (a) assume I'm a smoker without any basis for doing so; (b) assume I'm obligated to hand over the cigarettes that I don't have and don't use; and (c) assume that you are then entitled to insult and harass me and impugn my honesty after being informed that I don't smoke, that's pretty much the definition of asshole.

1st_streeter

Or... if you ignore them or shake your head they say "God bless you anyway" to make you feel guilty.

laura

When I lived on 3rd Street there were always panhandlers outside of Met Food ... and then the guy outside of Garfield Market who tells you how good your hair looks. Didn't bother me ... what I found annoying were the earnest young things with clipboards outside of Starbucks or wherever asking me if I'd like to stop global warming or whatever. I know I'm cranky, but I hate people accosting me on the street with a question formed in a manner that makes "no" an unacceptable answer. "Can you spare a minute to save the children?". Oh puh-lease. I have a few causes that I'm passionate about and I give money and keep up to date online - don't bother me on the street, 'kay?

Down here in the south slope, there's one lady who sometimes hangs out on 5th Avenue yelling CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT, I'M VAARRRY HUNGRY. The last time I saw her she yelled at me, MISS, MISS, CAN YOU BUY ME A HAMBURGER, I'M VAARRRRY HUNGRY and when I ignored her she bellowed, DOESN'T ANYBODY IN BROOKLYN CARE ABOUT ME??!! Um, sorry, apparently not.

drano

Nuclear Redaction wrote: Oh God this drives me crazy. I've encountered several people -- total strangers to me -- who asked to bum a cigarette from me, and when I told them I don't smoke (which is the truth)

Heh, that's a little weird. I mean, when I get asked it's because I'm smoking at that moment and the person has reason to believe I have what they want.

slopehead

There's one guy who lives on Union Street near the Coop who routinely asks for a cigarette (he's got glasses and kind of looks like one of the Proclaimers if you remember that band). Funny thing is, there are no niceties about it - there's no "please" or "hey buddy" or anything - just "hey, you gotta cigarette?" And as soon as your lips are forming the word "no," he's already asking the person behind you. He's got a slight air of desperation about him, so I'm sure eventually he gets one. I have a theory that he hasn't actually bought a pack for himself in years.

Drano wrote: [quote=Nuclear Redaction]Oh God this drives me crazy. I've encountered several people -- total strangers to me -- who asked to bum a cigarette from me, and when I told them I don't smoke (which is the truth)

Heh, that's a little weird. I mean, when I get asked it's because I'm smoking at that moment and the person has reason to believe I have what they want.[/i]

MOD

laura wrote:
Down here in the south slope, there's one lady who sometimes hangs out on 5th Avenue yelling CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT, I'M VAARRRY HUNGRY. The last time I saw her she yelled at me, MISS, MISS, CAN YOU BUY ME A HAMBURGER, I'M VAARRRRY HUNGRY and when I ignored her she bellowed, DOESN'T ANYBODY IN BROOKLYN CARE ABOUT ME??!! Um, sorry, apparently not.

I've seen that woman, she's VAAARRRY annoying.
:roll: I know I'll get shit for this...

laura

She's horrid.

erikka

1st_Streeter wrote: 7th Ave. is a panhandler obstacle course. Almost one on every block. Some of them look like lazy bastards who just don't feel like working. I hate it when they say "your hair looks great".

My god--from the minute you get off the Q train there's at least one per block. I always wonder about the guys that hang out in front of the same location day in and day out (like the guy in front of the grocery store and the one who hangs out in front of the deli). Do the owners not care about their customers getting harassed or are they powerless to do anything about it?

livetotravel

Where's the compassion people?????????????????????????????????