News Flash: We're not ALL Criminals

cool the kid

liftandcut wrote:

You sound butthurt

"Butthurt?" I've never heard that term. You must be familiar with that feeling.

Aren't you Black? Jeez, go watch "Eyes on the Prize."

I am black. But that's besides the point.

Even if white women do cross the street when they see you why do you care? How does it affect you in any way besides hurting your feelings? You're being overly emotional right now.

doublediamond

liftandcut wrote:
Interesting way of putting it. This has nothiing to do with hurt feelings. It's about what I perceive as a lot of white women around here being more likely to cross the street or grab their purses when a Black man is walking toward them. As a person of color who has had to deal with this behavior in the past, it's still disturbing to me no matter how many times it has happened. I've seen the same women who have, on more than one occasion, jet when they see me coming, not even blink an eye when white men approach them. I've made a point of noticing these things because it is affects me. To trivialize my reaction to this behavior by boiling it down to hurt feelings is unfortunate, but not particularly unexpected.

Maybe I'm reading your posts incorrectly but it seems to absolutely have to do with your feelings - feelings that you're being discriminated against by white women and thats translating here into hurt and anger. Women, white and of color, have to deal with a fear of being harassed at best, assaulted, raped and left for dead at worst. If women are crossing the street when they see you, it's about their own feelings of personal safety, their own experiences and nothing to do with you personally unless they know you personally.

liftandcut

Even if white women do cross the street when they see you why do you care? How does it affect you in any way besides hurting your feelings? You're being overly emotional right now.

Funny stuff, man.

I guess your Black experience has been different than mine. It's all good though. I can respect that. You're probably around 19 or early 20s and have had a different generational experience than me, and that has framed your perceptions of race in this country. Again, this has nothing to do with hurt feelings. If you can't grasp that, well, I don't know what else to tell you.

Mamacita wrote: Get over it man. No one right here is running scared from you on the streets.

That is, without a doubt, the most intelligent comment I've ever, ever, ever, read on DH. If I don't get over it, will you walk down the street with me and tell everyone that nobody on DH is running scared from me?
Thanks.

cool the kid

liftandcut, do you want to walk hand in hand with a white woman? I'm having a bday party in the city Friday, if you don't cry and whine I can introduce you to some.

I don't get what people crossing the street has to do with my money or my time. Maybe my pride, if it were that fragile... but really, there is no tangible effect I can see this having on you. It seems like you have hang ups with race you need to work on resolving.

homeowner

I gotta say, I don't think I've ever crossed a street to avoid walking past a guy simply because he was there. I have (most recently last week) crossed a street to avoid groups of guys fighting, throwing crap at one another or generally being assy. But even then its got to rise to a certain level before I'll go out of my way. But a guy, just walking down the street towards me? Not homeless, off his meds and screaming at the top of his lungs? Nope, never.

caseopele

I'm rarely out late at night without my dogs but I can't remember the last time I crossed the street to avoid a guy or group of guys. If I get a weird feeling about someone I usually just make sure my knife is easily accessible. My dogs have made a few people cross the street late at night to avoid us. One night 2 young guys were walking towards us, guy #1 crossed the street while guy #2 kept walking. My dogs were by the curb kind of hidden in the shadows but as soon guy #2 saw them he crossed. He met back up with his friend and kept going. The whole thing was shady, I can't say for sure that they were going to try something but I was glad I had my dogs with me. I still didn't think of trying to avoid them though, I had my dogs and my knife so good luck to anyone who tries something.

I agree with sweet tea's first comment. I can't walk anywhere without zig-zagging (up one block, over another, etc), I check my bag a bunch of times because I'm terribly forgetful, I see something cool across the street and veer towards it. My attention span can be quite short sometimes and I like to look at building details, manholes, plants or anything interesting while I'm walking. But I have never clutched my purse in terror upon encountering a Black Man who must have sinful cravings or criminal intentions in mind. You guys know I'm kidding right?

Anyone (white or black, man or woman) who thinks I might make a good target would be in for a surprise. First of all, I'm poor so they wouldn't get much. And second, I wasn't the best kid (ask my mom). I ran with a rough crowd and hung out in some unsavory areas. I won't think twice about poviding someone with an extra breathing hole. So to all you black guys reading this post, if you see me cross the street when you're walking towards me, rest assured. I'm like a crow, I probably saw something shiny and had to get a better look!

doctorj

I stride purposefully and determinedly at a brisk pace, plowing straight on, but watchful, and passing people by as wide a margin as possible and with some extra heavy footfalls so they know I'm coming. No one approaches me from behind, I cross for no one, and no one crosses or has to veer for me.

god

I can't wait for liftandcut to move out of the neighborhood so I can strut around here carefree!

:P

whyfi

GOD wrote: I can't wait for liftandcut to move out of the neighborhood so I can strut around here carefree!

:P

I always suspected that God was a white woman... [-o<

armchair_warrior

dude get over it. you are not being beaten or spit at , insulted ,and they are merely walking away from you.

I rather have that than the latter.


have you been around a group of young black american men?(not Caribbean or African)


anyway don't get me started on this subject. its called experience. i have tons of vitriol left. you know how many times i been called names every time i walk about any area with young black men? racist taunts for no reason at all? some times punches assaulted by black young men.


its the number 1 group i fear.

i have been insulted and assaulted by other groups but black young american men takes the cake. I don't know where the hate comes from.

white liberals stay out of this. if you are gonna be offended by what i say.

cool the kid

armchair_warrior wrote: white liberals stay out of this. if you are gonna be offended by what i say.

LMAO!!!!

laura b

doublediamond wrote: Every 2.5 minutes a woman is raped in America. 1 in 6 American women are victims of sexual assault.

You're right, it's not your responsibility to make women feel safe on the street and it's not a woman's responsibility to make sure your feelings aren't hurt if we cross the street.

I sympathize with this, but have to point out: When it comes to violence against women, most perpetrators know their victims. The majority of women who report being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date. (http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html)

So you might actually be safer around that random dude on the street...

armchair_warrior

Subject: Re: News Flash: We're not ALL Criminals

liftandcut wrote:

Anybody familiar with the laws pertaining to Black rage?

i wonder about the same laws on asian rage.


hey btw this doesn't belong here on this board. move it to the bs aka lounge board.

cool the kid

Subject: Re: News Flash: We're not ALL Criminals

armchair_warrior wrote: [quote=liftandcut]

Anybody familiar with the laws pertaining to Black rage?

i wonder about the same laws on asian rage.


hey btw this doesn't belong here on this board. move it to the bs aka lounge board.

Or at least the Crown Heights board. In PH it looks to me like all the white women and black men are dating.

armchair_warrior

second group of young men i fear is italian american men. but they mostly moved away during the 80's and 90's.

MOD

armchair_warrior wrote: dude get over it. you are not being beaten or spit at , insulted ,and they are merely walking away from you.

I rather have that than the latter.


have you been around a group of young black american men?(not Caribbean or African)


anyway don't get me started on this subject. its called experience. i have tons of vitriol left. you know how many times i been called names every time i walk about any area with young black men? racist taunts for no reason at all? some times punches assaulted by black young men.


its the number 1 group i fear.

i have been insulted and assaulted by other groups but black young american men takes the cake. I don't know where the hate comes from.

white liberals stay out of this. if you are gonna be offended by what i say.

Poor AW he's also gotten his ass mugged more times than anyone else on this board. :P

armchair_warrior

Mamacita wrote:

Poor AW he's also gotten his ass mugged more times than anyone else on this board. :P

they weren't muggings. i been mugged before. just racist assaults. huge difference.

daver

armchair_warrior wrote: second group of young men i fear is italian american men. but they mostly moved away during the 80's and 90's.

They all moved to south shore staten island. Where they continue their evil ways and goofy hair styles.

MOD

armchair_warrior wrote: [quote=Mamacita]

Poor AW he's also gotten his ass mugged more times than anyone else on this board. :P

they weren't muggings. i been mugged before. just racist assaults. huge difference.

I was referring to a past thread wherein you had mentioned all the muggings you've endured. Was I not remembering correctly? :scratch:

armchair_warrior

oh that yeah. i been mugged tons of times. i think the common street belief is we don't call the cops or fight back.

gc72

Seems to me that you are basing too much of your self-image and happiness on other people's actions and perceived attitude toward you.

If you are a non-threatening black man and a white woman (or anyone) crosses the street to avoid you, have sympathy for their ignorance and wish them well. If you are a white woman and a black man (or anyone) takes offense at you for crossing the street (whether or not it had anything to do with them), have sympathy for their ignorance and wish them well.

There are far too many people in this city to get upset by anyone's behavior, as long as it doesn't threaten your safety or encroach on your personal space.

Of course I say this as neither a black man or a white woman, so WTF do I know, maybe. But this just seems to me like the best way to live your life: Mind your own business, try to be happy, and be respectful of your environment and the people around you.

Peace out in your hood.

god

WhyFi wrote: I always suspected that God was a white woman... [-o<

I'm blue skined.

doublediamond

Laura B wrote: [quote=doublediamond]Every 2.5 minutes a woman is raped in America. 1 in 6 American women are victims of sexual assault.

You're right, it's not your responsibility to make women feel safe on the street and it's not a woman's responsibility to make sure your feelings aren't hurt if we cross the street.

I sympathize with this, but have to point out: When it comes to violence against women, most perpetrators know their victims. The majority of women who report being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date. (http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html)

So you might actually be safer around that random dude on the street...

Oh, yes, there's a higher percentage of women being assaulted by men they know. The org I got the information from, RAINN, states that about 26% are by unknown assailants vs a whopping 73% committed by those known to the woman. My point in bringing it up was it's certainly a factor in women walking across the street from a man. It's really drummed into women to be careful on the street, to be alert and to avoid strange men when walking alone, etc. But absolutely the majority of reported rape is by someone known to the woman.

armchair_warrior

my entire point is there is much worse things can happen to you. girls walking or not walking away from you, means nothing in life.

be glad there isn't bunch of punks chasing after you cause you in the wrong hood or something worse.

dinkyla

Subject: Crossing the street

I am a happy black woman and my awareness shoots through the roof whenever a man comes across my path or walks behind me in an uncrowded street situation, black or white or anything else. I don't tend to cross the street unless there is a group of men or teens whom I don't know; instead, I'm more likely to slow down to allow guys I don't know to walk past me. I don't think men appreciate how often women get propositioned / yelled at / complimented aggressively in this neighborhood. Most of the time it's done with a good deal of humor and means nothing (when Jamaican guys yell "Empress!" at me, I practically blush with joy), but I've had guys scream shit at me for blocks. I don't dress provacatively -- hell, I don't even wear V-necks all that often. I just look female (and also I'm the most gorgeous person on the planet. Did I tell you that my name is J-Lo?).

White men never yell shit at me, only black guys. Okay, a couple of white guys did -- a Polish-from-Poland guy (he told me) who harassed me on the subway and tried to follow me home and an Irish-from-Belfast guy who tried to do the same. One Mexican guy this summer wouldn't stop following me until I kissed him on the cheek (I was in a good mood and it made him go away).

But I don't think the problem is black men. Not at all. I think the problem is one related to wealth / class and what is accepted in different sectors of society. And this is a socioeconomically mixed neighborhood that is majority lower-middle class and majority black and not socialized to interact in upper middle class ways. I think the problem is the women who react positively to such attention. If being yelled at gets the girl to turn around and come back, they keep doing it, and they keep doing it, hoping to find that one type of girl that respond. It's a numbers game.

This doesn't excuse the street crossing some women do, but not everyone is okay with the attention that guys around here throw out. Some women feel fear because of it. Sucks for the black man who feels actively avoided. I've been followed around 99 cent stores, and have had white women clasp their purses around me. I've had people yell "Rasta!" at me for having dreds.

People look at you and assume shit. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Ufortunately, black men have more of that to contend with than others (as well as any tall, punk, tattooed motherfuckers, really fat people, scantily clad women, old people, young people, handicapped people, teenagers, and ugly people). Sometimes people treat you nicer. Sometimes they ignore you. Sometimes they yell shit. Sometimes they fall in love with you and become stalkers.

This is what happens in a mixed neighborhood. Just be glad no one is kicking your ass. I am. (knock on wood)

thecolonel

liftandcut: Maybe you should change your deodorant.

dinkyla

How about if I just start wearing some....

doublediamond

Subject: re: crossing the street

dinkyla, well put.

lilbangladesh

As a white woman, I feel much safer in Crown Heights than I did in Astoria, mostly because of this guy I broke up with FOUR years ago who was stalking me. Statistically, I have much more to worry about from him (or any of his jailbird cronies) than I do from my neighbors or passerby. It also doesn't help that the NYPD doesn't take DV and stalking at all seriously. I left that guy before any violence occurred because I saw the writing on the wall, and as a result, I found that I couldn't get a restraining order when the stalking occurred. I did the right thing in leaving only to get screwed by the system. I was basically told that I couldn't get a restraining order until he actually physically attacked me. I was like, "Wouldn't that be too late?" And I couldn't get any help from DV organizations because I wasn't actually battered. I left the guy to prevent that. And every time I went to the cops, I got, "What did you DO to him?" as if it were MY fault I was being stalked. Ok, I have to stop because I'm upset.

Frankly, I feel pretty much at ease in my new neighborhood, though I do follow common-sense precautions, such as not wandering around after dark unless I have to. But considering that I grew up in Boston in the '70s, there's little for me to get fazed by. (Remember the '70s, right? When the crime was REALLY bad?)

I also have the unique experience of having the misfortune to go to the only non-Jewish school in my mostly Jewish suburb, and getting beat up for being Jewish by the guidos. (Man, I try not to be prejudiced, but I HATE Sicilians!) It was always the black kids that saved my ass.

I've found that both white and black men may yell out lewd stuff at me, but it's usually the white guys that actually mean it and get violently offended if you brush them off. The black guys will actually apologize half the time.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been attacked by a black person, but I have been attacked by white people.

Generally for me, whether I cross the street or not is totally a vibe thing. Even groups of teenagers don't usually faze me because (surprise! surprise!) most teenagers are not actually criminals. If I don't get a sense that I have anything to fear, I won't and I will calmly go on my way. If somehow I get that vibe, yeah, I will do what I need to do to protect myself.

I will say this: I've been mugged a number of times, but never successfully. Because of my disability, my emotions tend to take a while to catch up, so by the time I've figured out that I have something to be afraid of, I've already calmly dealt with that situation. And I'm sure this is what has protected me. Remember, criminals want EASY targets. They want targets that fear them. Fear gives them a sense of power. If, for whatever reason, the target doesn't feal fear, it removes the reason for attacking the person in the first place. They don't get that sense of power.

Since I grew up having to fight people twice my size for my life, I know how to handle myself physically, but since I've grown to my adult size, I've found it to be unnecessary. I usually outwit them. I got one mugger so confused (and to add to the hilarity, I was dead broke with no way home when it happened) that he GAVE me money at gunpoint. It's a truly surreal experience to have someone point a gun at you and scream, "TAKE MY MONEY!" I ended up $50 richer though with the scare of my life. I think the guy was borderline retarded.

True story: I was walking down Lake street in Minneapolis (not a good area. The only way to differentiate between the hookers and regular women are that the hookers are standing still in the frigid cold) in the dead of winter. This guy comes at me with this short knife and demands my money. My first thought was: "That knife isn't long enough." I was so bundled up that if he stabbed me real hard, he *might* have snagged my sweater. So I said no and kept on walking. This confused the guy and he ran after me.

"Wait, aren't you scared of me?"

"No. Would that help?" and I kept on walking. I was at the record store before I realized I'd been mugged.

livetotravel

I am a white male - every time, I mean every time, I walk home from the 'F" train along 8th Avenue in close proximity to any adult woman, she grabs hold of her purse and looks over her shoulder and seemingly worries what I am up to.

I say good for her - it's extremely sensible to do so - it shows heightened awareness. It will serve her well to continue this behavior.

Of course this does not address the OP's concerns about irrational fear of black men which is an altogether different problem.

You know what I fear - the fucking roving gangs of mixed gender white youth aimlessly roaming PS on Friday and Saturday nights drinking cans of beer and smoking pot. What do I fear? I fear I'm going to smack their disaffected asses into the sidewalk if I catch them on my porch or in the back of my building again.