A way for singles to meet?

anonymous

O.K. I am a little out of touch on this topic, but I did some calling for MoveOn.org this weekend and I was thinking that one of those house parties could be a great way for single like-minded people to meet (uhm, I guess like minded meaning hate George Bush). But it is also a good cause because it is getting out the vote in congressional districts with races too close to call--so even if it is a bust on the singles front, at least it is also productive. They will be posting about more house parties for this weekend I believe and also anyone can host one by registering with MoveOn.org. Just a thought. My sister met someone doing a get out the vote on a bus to Philadelphia last election so.......it is possible.

erikka

Subject: Re: A way for singles to meet?

kensingtonmom wrote: O.K. I am a little out of touch on this topic, but I did some calling for MoveOn.org this weekend and I was thinking that one of those house parties could be a great way for single like-minded people to meet (uhm, I guess like minded meaning hate George Bush). But it is also a good cause because it is getting out the vote in congressional districts with races too close to call--so even if it is a bust on the singles front, at least it is also productive. They will be posting about more house parties for this weekend I believe and also anyone can host one by registering with MoveOn.org. Just a thought. My sister met someone doing a get out the vote on a bus to Philadelphia last election so.......it is possible.

Ummm....probably not. Has she tried nerve.com, jdate or one of those sorts of services? People who are there to do political work probably aren't looking for romance, she's probably be better served going somewhere where people are there specifically because they want to date. There are a couple of bars in the area with a decent amount of single people, not that I'd recommend that sort of thing.

apollonia666

She might want to check out some of the Meetup.com groups in subject areas that interest her.

quijibo

apollonia666 wrote: She might want to check out some of the Meetup.com groups in subject areas that interest her.

yea. i just joined a few meetups and am going to one tonight.

fingers crossed

mad_lucky

I've met plenty o' people at MeetUps. Am going to one tonight

quijibo

Flexichick wrote: I've met plenty o' people at MeetUps. Am going to one tonight

well. good luck. hope you won't need that ambien again...

doctorj

Subject: Re: A way for singles to meet?

kensingtonmom wrote: I was thinking that one of those house parties could be a great way for single like-minded people to meet.

Lately this board seems to have been a great way for like single-minded people to meet.

anonymous

Subject: Re: A way for singles to meet?

doctorj wrote: Lately this board seems to have been a great way for like single-minded people to meet.

Not to be totally nosey, but has anyone actually hooked up from this board?

I found that my single guy friends have done very well on Nerve and all seemed to find someone within 6 months to a year, and none of my single women friends found anyone looking for more than a one night thing. Why is that?

brooklynjack

Well I havn't done the dating thing for quite some time BUT one time after yet another busted relationship I decided to heck with it all, I was just going to do things socially that interested me and stop thinking about meeting someone. I took up ballroom dancing, not to meet women but becuase I enjoyed it. Made lots of new friends, male, female, couples. Eventually someone introduced me to my (now) wife. I think not having attention on meeting an SO did it. So my advice is if you want to volunteer for MoveOn.org do it causee you're a believer and don't worry about meeting someone. If you do it'll be a plus if you don't you'll be happy anyway.

apollonia666

Subject: Re: A way for singles to meet?

kensingtonmom wrote: I found that my single guy friends have done very well on Nerve and all seemed to find someone within 6 months to a year, and none of my single women friends found anyone looking for more than a one night thing. Why is that?

I've met a lot of guys looking for one night things on Nerve and a few guys and a couple of women looking for more than that with whom things just didn't click. But I have finally met someone on there I've been dating a few weeks now who seems reeeeeally promising, so I would probably say it's worth filling out a profile but don't hold your breath.

alafairnadia

Subject: Re: A way for singles to meet?

apollonia666 wrote: [quote=kensingtonmom]I found that my single guy friends have done very well on Nerve and all seemed to find someone within 6 months to a year, and none of my single women friends found anyone looking for more than a one night thing. Why is that?

I've met a lot of guys looking for one night things on Nerve and a few guys and a couple of women looking for more than that with whom things just didn't click. But I have finally met someone on there I've been dating a few weeks now who seems reeeeeally promising, so I would probably say it's worth filling out a profile but don't hold your breath.

woo woo!

I'm not a great example but basically I'm a dating failure. it doesn't matter how I meet people. I'm great at being friendly and social, but I'm awful at relationships. it doesn't matter how things come about, either. so for some of us, online dating is mere entertainment. not because dating is funny, but because finding a steady date is impossible.

roux42

I met my fiance on yahoo...

yahoo was at best fair.... until I met my better half!
Nerve is mostly for one night stands...
JDate was horrible
match pretty bad
matchmaker good email, lousy dates....

And everyone is listed on at least two sites..... Believe me I know. I dated online on and off for about 5 years. Had a few 'relationships', horror stories as well as some fun. I know that this was not the point... But I did make a few good freinds.

The dating game is more of an amusing interview process that you can drink cocktails at!

Anyway! My two and half cents!

steve

I have no problems meeting people it seems, but I think the online thing is such a time sink that I rarely bother.

Dating is actually starting to drive me nuts lately, I can't go on anymore first dates. I feel like a bad clone of myself.

That said, I did meet someone online recently that I thought was pretty cool, but I doubt I'll ask her out again. Not quite interested enough.

vanilla

http://brooklynian.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3735

http://brooklynian.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3793

http://brooklynian.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=630

brooklynpotter

ugh, dating. alas, it's time to start thinking about dating again. (as opposed to talking about dating, and trying to attempt dating...)

there's only one single woman i know in the area who gets asked out constantly, and we know who she is... and i've lamented my gaydar ad nauseum: if i think you're attractive you're likely gay. or you're wearing a wedding ring. plus, i work in bburg, so it's all too-young hipsters who thin kit's cool to live in urban decay.

also done all the online sites but not jdate because you couldn't pay me enough $$. basically, dateless.

isn't this uplifting? pardon me while i go slit my wrists.

j/k

slimjones

Yep, I get asked out fairly often. I'm social, smile a lot, etc.

But...if you give off the "dating sucks....I don't want to do this....I'll never meet anybody" vibe, I personally don't think your chances are high of meeting somebody

That said, they're not nearly all keepers!

Plus, there are moments you can't explain - like the guy this weekend who prefered a hookup with a married chick who was in town for the weekend (and who literally weighed exactly 100 lbs. more than me). To each his own.......(and not that I wanted to "hookup" with him!).

mixergirl

isn't this uplifting? pardon me while i go slit my wrists.

Is it really that bad people? Can't we just look at it as an interesting way to meet new people and if there isn't connection, well move on. Unless the person is a psycho maniac, I can't imagine that dating is really all that bad. I guess I should say that yes, I am single, and yes, I am dating. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes you meet someone interesting but there is no chemistry and then sometimes if you are lucky, you just meet someone whom you click with. It's basically a numbers game, and if you really want to meet someone, you have to make the time to play it.

erikka

It's really not that bad. I've met people off nerve who I've dated both long and short term, and some of the people I didn't have a romantic spark with ended up becoming good friends (who then introduced me to their friends, etc...). Like flexichick said, they're not all keepers, but you never be able to throw back the small fry if you never cast your line.

brooklynpotter

perhaps it does paint me as a loser... but yes, dating is that bad. (geez, does nobody remember sex and the city? those dates they had we not that far off the map.)

and i've had a LOT of great dates in my lifetime, most in NYC. but the reality is that there are more men than women in the city. and for me, i've always been in professions, and have had hobbies, that pretty much attract women and gay men.

and flexi does smile all the time, and men fall at her feet. me, i try to smile as much as i can. don't get me wrong, i'm not a man-hater. i love men, i love great dates, i'm just not finding any.

grandavegirl

I still think you HAVE to go on a bunch of dates to find a good one. You might get lucky and find them right away, or it might take forever....but you're not going to find them if you don't TRY!

brooklynpotter

i ALWAYS try!!!!!!!!!!!!

healthinsurancenyc

Don't make me start a dating bootcamp! I've done it before

brooklynpotter

what exactly does dating bootcamp entail?

freespirit56

Challenges about getting yourself out there and talking to people ....people that you normally wouldn't talk to...in places that you normally don't go.

It's not for the faint of heart....but honestly, I have other things I need to focus on right now (like finding a j-o-b)

This from the single girl

anonymous

mixergirl wrote: Is it really that bad people? Can't we just look at it as an interesting way to meet new people and if there isn't connection, well move on. .

O.K. I think it depends on age. When I was in my 20s I thought dating was fine. Didn't love it, didn't hate it, didn't even think about it really as any kind of issue. As you get older, it gets more complicated, the stakes are higher. If you want to get married, you don't want to waste time on someone cute but totally inappropriate, or you have to find out fairly quickly if you both are on the same track (marriage, fling? children?).

I personally think that dating starts to suck in your 30s and I have lots of empathy. Because you can't just give up--someone is out there--I do believe that much. But you can't get cynical and demoralized finding that person.

apollonia666

Flexichick wrote: Plus, there are moments you can't explain - like the guy this weekend who prefered a hookup with a married chick who was in town for the weekend (and who literally weighed exactly 100 lbs. more than me). To each his own.......(and not that I wanted to "hookup" with him!).

Um... the married/hookup thing notwithstanding, lots of guys like larger women, and it seems (just based on my own personal experience as someone who probably weighs 100 pounds more than you as well) that more and more of them are less afraid to admit that to themselves and act on it nowadays. Just because someone weighs more than another person doesn't mean the thinner person is automatically preferable as a date.

steve

brooklynpotter wrote:
but the reality is that there are more men than women in the city.

Doesn't that mean that women would have it easier than men? Are there more men than women. I have no idea myself.

Honestly, as someone who has been where you sound like you are, I think the thing is you have to put yourself out there constantly, and take a lot of risks. This is how you meet people in New York, by behaving like a New Yorker. The downside to that is it is exhausting, the upside is that if you lived anywhere else in the U.S., some of that time would be spent picking up at the bar at Applebees or Fridays.

smrf

apollonia666 wrote: [quote=Flexichick]Plus, there are moments you can't explain - like the guy this weekend who prefered a hookup with a married chick who was in town for the weekend (and who literally weighed exactly 100 lbs. more than me). To each his own.......(and not that I wanted to "hookup" with him!).

Um... the married/hookup thing notwithstanding, lots of guys like larger women, and it seems (just based on my own personal experience as someone who probably weighs 100 pounds more than you as well) that more and more of them are less afraid to admit that to themselves and act on it nowadays. Just because someone weighs more than another person doesn't mean the thinner person is automatically preferable as a date.

That's true. She's very attractive.....However, I'd say that the norm is that MORE people (certainly not all) seek people who are in shape/not overweight (because at her height, she would be considered obese - not a judgement, just a medical classification).

I think the married/hookup thing was more surprising.

My point was just that you never know what's going to be attractive to somebody.....tall/in shape, single, local girl.....short/overweight, married, long-distance girl.

quijibo

i've been dating for a while. since my last long term relationship...
and i am now sick and tired of dating

it was fun in the beginning, right after the breakup,
but then the novelty wears off and everything begins to taste the same.
you meet the same fling over and over again — different body but same soul

the grass is always greener and all that...
but i just wanna find the right person and settle into a long term relationship again

it ain't easy. i don't think it's supposed to be easy

sometimes i wish i had been born a hindu. that way the whole marriage thing would have been rendered moot by my parents arranging the marriage when i was 6 O:)

pitu

quijibo wrote: sometimes i wish i had been born a hindu. that way the whole marriage thing would have been rendered moot by my parents arranging the marriage when i was 6 O:)

Let me help . . .
since the Brooklynian is your chosen faith
I, as a moderator of this faith,
arrange for you to partner with KosherDave
I don't care what his girlfriend says
Just make it work!

Felicidades!!!

quijibo

pitu wrote: Let me help . . .
since the Brooklynian is your chosen faith
I, as a moderator of this faith,
arrange for you to partner with KosherDave
I don't care what his girlfriend says
Just make it work!

Felicidades!!!

i'm game if KD is up for it
but KD hasn't been posting lately. he's probably off with armchair