A list of what I've learned from these message boards.

brookfetish

Subject: A list of what I've learned from these message boards.

-No complaining about getting mugged. What did you expect? You’re a gentrifier.

-No complaining about Soda, Joyce, Le Gamin, or Carnieviento.

-Complain all you want about Muddy Waters, the dry cleaning options on Vanderbilt, the poor USPS service, and the Underhill playground.

-No spitting.

-White folk don’t like curtains.

-Your coffee of choice sucks.

-Apparently, everyone that resides in Prospect Heights was raised on the most authentic <insert>, and NOTHING in this neighborhood is actually prepared how it should be.

-Hipsters are scum, but it’s okay to act like one when criticizing them.

-You heard gunshots? So what, you yuppie gentrifier. That’s how it has always been. What do you expect?

-If the mosquitoes don’t get you, the bedbugs will.

-You don’t know the best route from JFK to Prospect Heights.

-That new building is ugly and violates every architectural law/standard/theory according to the incredible amount of architecture experts (who knew?) residing in Prospect Heights.

jayce

I've learned that keyboards are balls magnifiers.

MOD

And everyone, except me, is a racist!

lostingreenwoodhts

To remember to have a sense of humor and not take life, nor this Board, too seriously.

brookfetish

lostingreenwoodhts wrote: To remember to have a sense of humor and not take life, nor this Board, too seriously.

You've pretty much summed up the intention of my post.

chrispy

You forgot the most important lesson of all:

LOCK YOU DOORS!

blackoyster

And we still don't know if there is ham in the cooler!

lostingreenwoodhts

BrookFetish wrote: [quote=lostingreenwoodhts]To remember to have a sense of humor and not take life, nor this Board, too seriously.

You've pretty much summed up the intention of my post.

What, you were being facetious!?!

Darn!

shishkab

chrispy wrote: You forgot the most important lesson of all:

LOCK YOU DOORS!

AND YOU VAJAYJAYS!

pensodyssey

I hope I'm reading the tone of the OP correctly when I say that I concur that most of the people on this board are a bunch of big babies. And it's a shame; this board coulda been a contendah.

I honestly find it hard to believe that spitting is a topic of discussion. Umm >>>>>>>>>hello<<<<<<<< people have been spitting for like a hundred million years. Get over it.

theoryofpractice

I've learned when people get together from this board in RL it's fun...
...except when it isn't.

and that there are a lot of transplanted 'hotans like me, wandering around

doctorj

pensodyssey wrote: Umm >>>>>>>>>hello<<<<<<<< people have been spitting for like a hundred million years. Get over it.

100,000,000? Not people as such, but certainly higher animals. Apparently the calcium-binding genes that invented saliva go way back to before the split between vertebrates and invertebrates, although fish turned out differently from the rest of us. Either that, or it goes back 6011 years and happened on a Thursday.

lp1378

You forgot one:

Bodegas where you can't buy a beer and a ham sammich are most likely being run by Al Qaeda operatives.

sterling2000

And every statement carries a veiled racist undertone when read through the lens of a "local" (however that is defined by the offended party).

pensodyssey

doctorj wrote: [quote=pensodyssey] Umm >>>>>>>>>hello<<<<<<<< people have been spitting for like a hundred million years. Get over it.

100,000,000? Not people as such, but certainly higher animals. Apparently the calcium-binding genes that invented saliva go way back to before the split between vertebrates and invertebrates, although fish turned out differently from the rest of us. Either that, or it goes back 6011 years and happened on a Thursday.

Indeed. God must be a spitter, then.

The hundred million years was de rigueur message board exaggeration.

doctorj

pensodyssey wrote:
The hundred million years was de rigueur message board exaggeration.

Let us strive to the uttermost to stamp out the myriads upon myriads of hyperbolic quips polluting these boards daily.

littleredmenace

I made almost $25K in ought 6. By that I mean, last year. Does that make me a yuppie?

Oh, and Crown Heights people are allowed over here, right? I mean, I'm just next door.

pensodyssey

Hyperbole will never, ever ever be stamped out. Never.

nathan

Once, I was listening to two people discussing how horrible it is that people ever spit. One of them waxed rhapsodic (hyperbolically, even) about how "...the earth is our Mother. Who would spit on their mother"?

I asked him where he pisses when he goes camping.

***Silence***

Oh, and Ft. Greene people are allowed over here, right? I mean, I' just down Vanderbilt.

michaelkeys

Nathan wrote: Once, I was listening to two people discussing how horrible it is that people ever spit. One of them waxed rhapsodic (hyperbolically, even) about how "...the earth is our Mother. Who would spit on their mother"?

I asked him where he pisses when he goes camping.

***Silence***

Classic.

poopypoop

And complain about cash only bars and restaurants!!!

poopypoop

Nathan your post is so funny!!!where do you do number 2 when camping???

missdavidatoyou

Things I've learned:

- don't criticize out of control children OR their mothers
- "karma" doesn't mean shit
- there are a lot of cute cats (ok, and dogs) "owned" by people on this board
- I don't know WTF Armchair is saying most of the time, but he still makes me laugh
- if I stand in the wrong spot on Flatbush, the meat wind will make me hungry
- any use of the words "ghetto" or "thug" means yous a racist
- no matter where you go, there will always be at least one drunken guest
- when somebody tells you to stop throwing popcorn, you better cut that shit out
- pitbulls can be nice
- a meltdown in action can be strangely appealing to watch
- French fries in Bearnaise sauce kick ass (ok, I didn't learn that here, but I reinforced it tonight)
- LOCK YOU VAJAYJAYS during any day there is a parade in Brooklyn
- it's fun to drink some wine and post
- the co-op is a cult.
- Lenny's has some mighty fine pizza
- if you have bedbugs, you're fucked
- MUCH more about "being an escort" than I ever wanted to know


That is all.
-

alafairnadia

ghetto tech!

armchair_warrior

yay i got a mention on this thread.

I approve!

bill c

i am feeling a little nostalgic about the big group hate on the kid from new zealand that was mugged and actually expressed feelings of compassion towards his attacjers.

carnivore

bill c wrote: i am feeling a little nostalgic about the big group hate on the kid from new zealand that was mugged and actually expressed feelings of compassion towards his attacjers.

It wasn't really group hate. It was more group mockery for a short while, and then that one asshole Jack who jut seemed to have something against the guy.