Musings on bores with cellphones

carnivore

People having a cell phone conversation in a restaurant that lasts more than a few seconds annoy me too. But I don't understand how someone silently texting or having their phone out or wearing shorts or flip flops or whatever affects me. As some others have said, I think if those things are annoying you so much, then you're the one who's not paying enough attention to your dining companion(s).

belzjm

women and men in much more more civilized countries than the u.s. (don't get me wrong, love the states, but we aren't exactly known for our sophistication) wear sandals all the time.

it's about looking frumpy or sloppy that's the problem...has absolutely nothing to do with the sandals themselves.

park slope is known for this. i was out in the neighborhood today with a friend and we commented about how so many people here look like they just rolled out of bed. a shame, really. too bad more people can't devote a little time to making their one and only body look decent.

not surprising really after some of the backlash i saw on another topic about a nice, high-end women's shop that opened up on 5th avenue.

by the way some people talk around here, it's a sin to spend more than 7.99 on an outfit.

hamilton

It may be all they can afford after paying their rent

redmenace

alafairnadia wrote: [quote=redmenace]Slow down. We can disagree that keeping it on the table is insulting to your tablemates. Keeping a phone on vibrate on your lap or something is more discreet, in my opinion. Being "on call" doesn't mean constantly waiting for a call, which is rude.

And as far as my choice of dining places, you don't know anything about me, except that i won't dine with people who's unreceived phone calls are more important than my company.

okay. so if you or a loved one had a detached retina and was in the ER and was unable to be treated quickly because the doctor on call didn't notice their phone ringing because they're worried about offending tablemates (who they've already cleared this with - but you still think it's rude), you'd be okay with that? I don't buy that at all. if one of your loved ones were sick and in surgery and you were waiting for an update from across the country from family, you'd keep your phone somewhere you might not notice it ringing to avoid rudeness, again, even though your table mates are human and can understand why this would be something you're concerned about and don't mind the presence of the cell phone? seriously? I *really* don't buy that.

Most of the doctors I know - and I know plenty - still carry beepers. They get up from their seat and make the phone call, away from other diners.

Why are you trying to justify YOUR phone call? All the "rude, loud" phone calls start with a phone on the table, it ringing, and someone answering it. I have no doubt every single person in a restaurant who is on a phone thinks THEIR call is quite, discreet, and unobtrusive. You are kidding yourself if you think your isn't. When a phone is on a table, it means one is waiting for a call, which will then ring, be answered, and had. No phone call at the table is ok. None.

If you are really concerned about something, put the phone away, and make a call - outside - during the meal (before or after a main course, or something) to give yourself peace of mind. People do this with babysitters all the time.

Sorry, but checking up on a server problem doesn't count as peace of mind". The server will either be fixed - or not, and there is nothing more that can be done about it. In fact, if you don't get the answer you hoped for, all that call will do it get you agitated.

carmen

raw wrote: [quote=WhyFi][quote=raw]What is up with all those stupid flip flops?

^^^ well, I'm not a chick but, um, I wear sandals/flip-flops 'cause they're comfy and ('specially in hot weather) a lot cooler than shoes, temperature wise...


](*,)

I meant flip flop -- a thin, flimsy piece of rubber that makes an obnoxious smacking noise when it hits the ground. Flip flops are dumb period

Sandals are different. You can get durable, sturdy, leather sandals with thick soles that protect feet and, in some cases, even cover toes.


my flip flops are thick leather and were $50. They make an obnoxious smacking noise when I walk and I <3 them. I'm from the beach and would wear flipflops in the snow if I didn't get frostbite. They're the most comfortable shoes I own...so I wear them. It's not an attempt to be personally offensive to my fellow diners/walkers/human beings.

ninemonthsout

Whatchuwant wrote: [quote=ninemonthsout]Ugh. All this feet-hating is excessive. If you are offended by the mere sight of feet in SANDALS then you've got issues.

I'm offended by nasty looking feet. If you have ugly dogs, cover it up.

I have the ped egg. My feet are now perfect. Except for the "flip flop" tan lines I'm rocking this summer.

alafairnadia

re: doctors. most I know use pagers in the hospital and take consults from their attendings/questions about their patients via cell phone. not sure why you think the bleeping of a pager is better than a cell phone on silent, but hey - I'm not you.

re: frequency of times I've personally done this stuff. pretty rare. we clearly work in different industries - sometimes I've got 30 people on hold waiting for a server reboot/software upgrade. people getting paid by our clients over $200/hour. if my friends are okay with me waiting for an email saying "it's a go" and I just need to send an email saying "go ahead, get to work", I don't see why you have a problem with it. while I don't work in life or death situations, I definitely work on really tight, expensive deadlines and in order to have a social life, just like I accommodate my friends with their foibles, mine accommodate me. they know it's not an every day thing, or even an every month thing. and when my grandmother is in surgery for a broken hip, well, pardon me, but I want to know she made it through okay the minute my relatives with her know. again, if my friends don't have a problem with me taking that sort of call, and if it becomes lengthy (as in longer than 30 seconds) leaving the table politely, then I don't see why you do. if you're not paying attention to your conversation, your table mates, etc, I don't see why you're paying attention to me.

I'm not some hipster with a sidekick sitting around twittering away - 99% of the time my gadgets are in my purse. but if once every six months or year I need to put something on the table, after warning my friends of the situation, set to silent, it really isn't any of your business. I agree that someone taking phone calls loudly for several minutes is obnoxious, I agree that someone incessantly texting and twittering and checking their email is obnoxious. I just don't think what my friends and I do is a) rude or b) any of your business. obviously, you disagree.

redmenace

alafairnadia wrote: ...while I don't work in life or death situations, I definitely work on really tight, expensive deadlines and in order to have a social life, just like I accommodate my friends with their foibles, mine accommodate me. they know it's not an every day thing, or even an every month thing. and when my grandmother is in surgery for a broken hip, well, pardon me, but I want to know she made it through okay the minute my relatives with her know. again, if my friends don't have a problem with me taking that sort of call, and if it becomes lengthy (as in longer than 30 seconds) leaving the table politely, then I don't see why you do. if you're not paying attention to your conversation, your table mates, etc, I don't see why you're paying attention to me.

I'm not some hipster with a sidekick sitting around twittering away - 99% of the time my gadgets are in my purse. but if once every six months or year I need to put something on the table, after warning my friends of the situation, set to silent, it really isn't any of your business. I agree that someone taking phone calls loudly for several minutes is obnoxious, I agree that someone incessantly texting and twittering and checking their email is obnoxious. I just don't think what my friends and I do is a) rude or b) any of your business. obviously, you disagree.

The title of this thread is "Musings on Bores with Cellphones". No, I don't know you personally, and you may think your call is absolutely essential, quick and quiet. I have no doubt everyone who is on a cellphone in a restaurant feels exactly the same way.

scottb2k

Give me a break! It's Al Di La not the Four Seasons. If the atmosphere of the restaurant is so detrimental to your dining experience, tell the owners that until they ban the behavior that offends you so much, you will no longer go to their restaurant. Since you referred to it as "My Restaurant" I am sure the owners will bend over backwards to not lose your business.

Also, since we have been discussing the definitions of words, here is one more you might want to highlight:

self-right·eous
–adjective confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.

[Origin: 1670–80]

—Related forms
self-right·eous·ly, adverb
self-right·eous·ness, noun


—Synonyms sanctimonious, pharisaical.

scottb2k

redmenace wrote:

Slow down. We can disagree that keeping it on the table is insulting to your tablemates. Keeping a phone on vibrate on your lap or something is more discreet, in my opinion. Being "on call" doesn't mean constantly waiting for a call, which is rude.

And as far as my choice of dining places, you don't know anything about me, except that i won't dine with people who's unreceived phone calls are more important than my company.

And I wouldn't dine with people who are more concerned with everyone else in the restaurant than me.

livetotravel

scottb2k wrote: Give me a break! It's Al Di La not the Four Seasons. If the atmosphere of the restaurant is so detrimental to your dining experience, tell the owners that until they ban the behavior that offends you so much, you will no longer go to their restaurant. Since you referred to it as "My Restaurant" I am sure the owners will bend over backwards to not lose your business.

Also, since we have been discussing the definitions of words, here is one more you might want to highlight:

self-right·eous
–adjective confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.

[Origin: 1670–80]

—Related forms
self-right·eous·ly, adverb
self-right·eous·ness, noun


—Synonyms sanctimonious, pharisaical.

Having trouble comprehending that which you read? The exact phrase was "my favorite restaurant," not "my restaurant." But of course in the rush to be clever, attention to content seldom matters. So back off dickhead, and concentrate on correcting your sentence structure.

Bottom line is that when 3 people are at a table and all 3 are using their cellphones, blackberries, etc simultaneously and loudly throughout the dinner that is boorish, self-righteous, self-important behavior. Period. End.Of.Story. And when they are sitting next to me, it does make it hard to ignore that behavior and focus on my lovely, interesting, articulate dining partner.

And, I am actively lobbying the owners of Al Di La to post a nice user-friendly sign asking/urging people to take it outside.

MOD NOTE: Cool it with the personal attacks, guys.

scottb2k

Livetotravel wrote:

Having trouble comprehending that which you read? The exact phrase was "my favorite restaurant," not "my restaurant." But of course in the rush to be clever, attention to content seldom matters. So back off dickhead, and concentrate on correcting your sentence structure.

Bottom line is that when 3 people are at a table and all 3 are using their cellphones, blackberries, etc simultaneously and loudly throughout the dinner that is boorish, self-righteous, self-important behavior. Period. End.Of.Story. And when they are sitting next to me, it does make it hard to ignore that behavior and focus on my lovely, interesting, articulate dining partner.

And, I am actively lobbying the owners of Al Di La to post a nice user-friendly sign asking/urging people to take it outside.

MOD NOTE: Cool it with the personal attacks, guys.

Having trouble comprehending that which you typed? Perhaps you should reread your post and see again where you said "stay out of my restaurants" :shock:

Since you missed it...I'll show you...I'll even bold it for you!

Livetotravel wrote: I'll let Frank Bruni do the talking on this one because he gets paid way more than I do to write well -
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/29/at-the-dinner-table-how-much-does-milieu-matter/#more-494

I'll just say that the catalyst for my current rant was dinner last night at my favorite restaurant Al Di La. We were seated at 9:30 PM and stayed until a little past 11:00 PM - in other words we were dining at the time when the current hoard of young, self-described hip people who have heard about and may even enjoy the consistently excellent food and service there, show up - iphones and blackberries at the ready.

My rant - continually talking on and text messaging with cell phones in restaurants makes you a bore - plain and simple. It does not make you look important, only self-important. Talking at extreme elevated levels about how cool you, your job or you friends are also make you a bore, and irritate your dining neighbors. And lastly, people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants - you look like your parents drug you there.

End of rant.

P.S. - Kudos to the NYPD who, in course of 5 minutes, ticketed the Lincoln parked illegally in front of Al Di La, and then, in an act of advanced coordination, ticketed the hipster chick talking on her cell phone while driving slowly by in her car.

Hope this helps...

new2hood

using your cell phone in a restaurant is rude. take it outside. no one wants to hear your bizness.

scottb2k

Livetotravel wrote: Bottom line is that when 3 people are at a table and all 3 are using their cellphones, blackberries, etc simultaneously and loudly throughout the dinner that is boorish, self-righteous, self-important behavior. Period. End.Of.Story. And when they are sitting next to me, it does make it hard to ignore that behavior and focus on my lovely, interesting, articulate dining partner.

And, I am actively lobbying the owners of Al Di La to post a nice user-friendly sign asking/urging people to take it outside.

The bottom line is that anyone who goes to a place like Al Di La and complains that "young, self described hip people" are talking too loud and says about their dress "people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants" needs to lighten up. If young people, technology and modern fashion mores scare you so much perhaps you should move to colonial williamsburg.

I also find it amusing that someone who corrects another persons sentence structure has no better way to articulate themselves then by saying "back off d!ckhead".

carmen

scottb2k wrote: If young people, technology and modern fashion mores scare you so much perhaps you should move to colonial williamsburg.

ok I'm not commenting on the rest of this post but that made me lol.

scottb2k

new2hood wrote: using your cell phone in a restaurant is rude. take it outside. no one wants to hear your bizness.

Generally speaking I agree with you and had the OP left it at that I would have agreed with him/her. But the OP decided to rant about hipsters, young people with their "iphones and blackberries", people talking too loud and the way people dress that it became to me, a bunch self righteous nonsense.

sterling2000

Carmen wrote: [quote=scottb2k] If young people, technology and modern fashion mores scare you so much perhaps you should move to colonial williamsburg.

ok I'm not commenting on the rest of this post but that made me lol.

My friends who lived in Williamsburg (the Brooklyn one) referred to it as Colonial Williamsburg when they lived there in the early 90's (before all the "young people, technology and modern fashion" moved there, too)...

livetotravel

scottb2k wrote: [quote=new2hood]using your cell phone in a restaurant is rude. take it outside. no one wants to hear your bizness.

Generally speaking I agree with you and had the OP left it at that I would have agreed with him/her. But the OP decided to rant about hipsters, young people with their "iphones and blackberries", people talking too loud and the way people dress that it became to me, a bunch self righteous nonsense.

Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I must have dozed off after your first retort...

redmenace

scottb2k wrote: [quote=new2hood]using your cell phone in a restaurant is rude. take it outside. no one wants to hear your bizness.

Generally speaking I agree with you and had the OP left it at that I would have agreed with him/her. But the OP decided to rant about hipsters, young people with their "iphones and blackberries", people talking too loud and the way people dress that it became to me, a bunch self righteous nonsense.

I can't speak for the OP, but I feel it has little to do with technology and more to do with rudeness. If you were having dinner with someone who was constantly looking at their watch, you would be pissed. Same goes for someone who has a phone (or blackberry) on the table. There is no email so important that it can't be answered in another hour or two. To do otherwise would be rude and impatient.

As for the flip flops, well I have no idea where that came from or what the deal is. They're a lot better than gigantic, ironic tattoos, IMHO. At least the flip flops will go away when the cold weather comes or they're out of fashion.

carmen

redmenace wrote: [quote=scottb2k][quote=new2hood]using your cell phone in a restaurant is rude. take it outside. no one wants to hear your bizness.

Generally speaking I agree with you and had the OP left it at that I would have agreed with him/her. But the OP decided to rant about hipsters, young people with their "iphones and blackberries", people talking too loud and the way people dress that it became to me, a bunch self righteous nonsense.

I can't speak for the OP, but I feel it has little to do with technology and more to do with rudeness. If you were having dinner with someone who was constantly looking at their watch, you would be pissed. Same goes for someone who has a phone (or blackberry) on the table. There is no email so important that it can't be answered in another hour or two. To do otherwise would be rude and impatient.

As for the flip flops, well I have no idea where that came from or what the deal is. They're a lot better than gigantic, ironic tattoos, IMHO. At least the flip flops will go away when the cold weather comes or they're out of fashion.



Oooo finally someone who is offended by tattoos! You people would hate me (and my flip-flop wearing and pink hair sporting [and giant ear piercing holes that, yes, are real and not an optical illusion with some sort of complex mirror system,]) and my tattooed, long-haired boyfriend. He even has an iphone (shh) although neither he nor I use our phones at dinner*


*caveat- my grandfather has been in the hospital on the brink of death for a week so when my mom calls, I pick up (on my way out the door) even if it might possibly disrupt someone's $15 plate of pasta.

livetotravel

Subjects yet to be discussed:

Skinny Jeans
Converse shoes
Those straw hats for men w/tiny brims
Plaid Pants or Shirts
Smoking
Skate Boarding past the age of 12
Smoking a joint while walking on 5th Avenue
Walking around drinking from a beer can
Throwing up in restaurant bathrooms
Not tipping or tipping too little

and other annoying behaviors ... discuss ... :roll:

carmen

Ooooooo!!!!
I am currently lacing up my converse shoes and getting ready to leave the house to go skating! And no, I'm not even making this up!! God, I'm so into this thread.
I dont smoke, wear hats, under tip or get sick in restaurant bathrooms though, so i guess I'm doing ok overall.

livetotravel

Carmen wrote: Ooooooo!!!!
I am currently lacing up my converse shoes and getting ready to leave the house to go skating! And no, I'm not even making this up!! God, I'm so into this thread.
I dont smoke, wear hats, under tip or vom though, so i guess I'm doing ok overall.

Have fun and watch out for those inconsiderate sidewalk bike riders and those rude boys with fishing line retractable dog leashes ;-)

redmenace

Carmen wrote:
Oooo finally someone who is offended by tattoos! You people would hate me (and my flip-flop wearing and pink hair sporting [and giant ear piercing holes that

I'm not offended by tattoos. In fact, I have both piercings and tattoos, and I've had some of them for nearly 20 years (longer for one of the tattoos). Two are very large, but they are often covered with clothes, due to their locations.

I am amused that it is such a fashion trend, and I've seen plenty that are bound to be huge sources of regret (tramp stamp, celtic knot and asian sleeve, anyone?). For anyone who doesn't buy that, I'll show you a picture of me in a prom dress. I thought I was the freakin' bomb.

No judging, just giggling. I'm not offended by iphones either - only when people talk loudly on them in public. Anywhere in public.

livetotravel

Wait 'til the MTA wires the subway platforms for cell phone reception - the assault rate in NYC will skyrocket!

carmen

Livetotravel wrote: Wait 'til the MTA wires the subway platforms for cell phone reception - the assault rate in NYC will skyrocket!

ugh my boyfriend and I were just discussing this on the train on sunday. How miserable is that going to be? The tunnels are the only place to get some (relative) peace...

turtle95

Livetotravel wrote: Subjects yet to be discussed:


and other annoying behaviors ... discuss ... :roll:

Can we include muffin tops? Although sometimes when I see them on the street it makes me think..."Oh, I should go buy a muffin. Preferably one that is bursting from it's little paper holder"

superjonbot

LOL! Even people on other tables twittering and texting are annoying people here?!? Seriously! Last I checked it was a completely silent activity. Its good al di la has a cheese plate to go with all this whine. (sorry, couldn't help it) anyway, you probably should pay attention to you dinner date before a trendy flip flop shorts and tshirt wearing "hipster" steals her away.

Posted from a laundramat with my trendy iPhone 3g

Oooooo ... I should twitter this!:P

carmen

superjonbot wrote: LOL! Even people on other tables twittering and texting are annoying people here?!? Seriously! Last I checked it was a completely silent activity. Its good al di la has a cheese plate to go with all this whine. (sorry, couldn't help it) anyway, you probably should pay attention to you dinner date before a trendy flip flop shorts and tshirt wearing "hipster" steals her away.

Posted from a laundramat with my trendy iPhone 3g

Oooooo ... I should twitter this!:P

ahahaha. I loled. And I thought I was the only person who posted things from the laundramat...but I use an aircard and my superposh thinkpad (note- a thinkpad is about the least hip computer you can own...)

redmenace

superjonbot wrote: LOL! Even people on other tables twittering and texting are annoying people here?!? Seriously! Last I checked it was a completely silent activity. Its good al di la has a cheese plate to go with all this whine. (sorry, couldn't help it) anyway, you probably should pay attention to you dinner date before a trendy flip flop shorts and tshirt wearing "hipster" steals her away.

Posted from a laundramat with my trendy iPhone 3g

Oooooo ... I should twitter this!:P

Picking your nose is a completely silent - and solo - activity too, but I don't want to see the person next to me doing it. Brushing hair, putting on makeup - all gross when done at the table.

People texting tend to get a big kick out of themselves, and yeah, that's annoying.

I would like to think that manners never go out of style. Like your mother used to say "you're not in your living room".