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I need to vent — Brooklynian

I need to vent

alafairnadia
alafairnadia
edited November -1 in The Lounge / Random Stuff
my boss made some very unfounded accusations against me today.

I'm home, working, still furious.

I've emailed HR for an appointment and emailed my boss' boss.

can someone tell me this will either turn out okay or just be something that goes away?

I'm exhausted and furious.
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Comments

  • em26
    em26
    Just don't go to that appointment furious.

    Calm down and try to relax. Gather all your thoughts and think about what you are gonna say to them.


    I don't know what the accusations are if they are a lie than act like it.

    Don't sit there looking all guilty and shit. Don't sweat it. Be confident.

    Is it gonna turn out okay? I think so.I hope so.

    Goodluck.
  • caseopele
    caseopele
    I guess I don't have to tell you to document everything. You just go in there and kick ass like I know you can (in a lawyerly kind of way, of course). What a douche, I hope your boss' boss sees that. *hugs*
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    Em26 wrote: Just don't go to that appointment furious.
    ^THIS.

    pretend you are representing yourself, that these things were said to a client of yours. defend with your head and not with your emotions.

    it will be okay. you are smart, and you work absurdly hard. if they refuse to see that, fuck 'em. fuck 'em hard.
  • ruska b
    ruska b
    document document document.

    Don't worry (I know, it is hard not too). You have many options. If not in your immediate environment, then elsewhere. It is a big world, but it seems law can be an especially sucky one.

    Plus, it is good advice to not meet with HR when you are feeling emotional.
    Go in there as your advocate, even make a bullet list of points that you want to be sure to convey if you fear your emotions might run you off course.

    Good luck!
  • flux
    flux
    You will be fine. Weren't you looking into another profession recently?
  • whatchuwant
    whatchuwant
    As you already know, Ala- recently went through all this shit with my last job. It really really REALLY sucks when others refuse to acknowledge and deal with their own issues and instead lay them onto others, particularly in the work environment. Work is one of those places in our lives where we don't have a choice on who we want to be around, and it kinda becomes a lesson in patience and challenges us to rise above, spiritually speaking. Difficult shit, it is.

    You can tell I was through hell and back- saw a shrink and read books on Buddhist meditation and spirituality to get through it....it is a continual struggle. Life is Dukkha.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    thanks everyone. the HR meeting was a bust. I made the proper comments 'privacy violation', lawsuit and harassment - but the HR person was thoroughly convinced I'm a big fuckup. for those who know me, you know I frequently have to leave events/continue working after we meet up for dinner/etc. I'm going to write a big memo this weekend documenting everything and I have the names of a few employment attorneys that I'm going to contact. in the meantime ... I think I'll probably be getting canned a week from monday but not yet certain. not taking any work home this weekend - don't have the energy to deal with it. going to update my resume, instead. do my taxes from the last two years and get that cash back from the govt.

    thankfully I have enough $$ in the bank to not be completely jacked if this actually happens, and if it does I'm hoping I'll get some warning so I can resign first. but. we'll see. if you see me this weekend - I need hugs.
  • MOD
    MOD
    Ay chica, make sure we see each other this weekend ok?
    We'll have lots to talk about and I've got nuthin' but hugs for you.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    i am a hugging MACHINE, i tell you what.
  • stacey
    stacey
    alafairnadia wrote: if you see me this weekend - I need hugs.
    As many as you have given me I have plenty to give back xoxoxo

    I have worked for lawfirms for the last 20 years and I bet the reason they are starting this shit is because you make too much money - they need a reason to let you go. I see it all the time in lawfirms. It is so freakin political at these firms (especially the big ones) and I am sure there is something in your employment contract that says they cannot let you go without "xyz" happening and they are trying to start a paper trial showing that. Keep your head up - we all know how great you are.

    If you need an employment attorney his name is Alan Sklover - 212-757-5000.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    stacey wrote: [quote=alafairnadia]if you see me this weekend - I need hugs.
    As many as you have given me I have plenty to give back xoxoxo

    I have worked for lawfirms for the last 20 years and I bet the reason they are starting this shit is because you make too much money - they need a reason to let you go. I see it all the time in lawfirms. It is so freakin political at these firms (especially the big ones) and I am sure there is something in your employment contract that says they cannot let you go without "xyz" happening and they are trying to start a paper trial showing that. Keep your head up - we all know how great you are.

    If you need an employment attorney his name is Alan Sklover - 212-757-5000.

    thank you so much. I'm all weepy now. I'll contact him as well. this is so humiliating and, frankly, I was commenting to someone before this shit went down that the amount of money I make is a little nuts (in the good way for me). I feel VERY set up - every stage of this feels orchestrated and like I am paying for some fuck up someone made that isn't me. my boss has fired and/or pushed out 6 people from an 8 person department in the last 5 months. that sounds bad in my view.
  • whatchuwant
    whatchuwant
    God, that sounds just like MY old job....fucked up shit. :shock:
  • em26
    em26
    Mamacita wrote: Ay chica, make sure we see each other this weekend ok?
    We'll have lots to talk about and I've got nuthin' but hugs for you.


    What time will these premeditated hugs take place? (cough)
  • jayce
    jayce
    alfy, if its any consolation, you and i are having similar days. as one of my mentors here told me a few days ago when my mess really started, sometimes you gotta eat a shit sandwich and this one might be yours.

    shit sandwiches taste better with a friend, so take comfort in at least one friend eating one now too.

    *hugs*

    and now i am waiting for a call from my boss to get my second helping. mmm. shit sandwich.
  • em26
    em26
    Look what you have gone and made me do.......


    image


    Eww I'm gross. #-o
  • jayce
    jayce
    yep, thats about right. thats about my "mmm" look even.
  • nomad
    nomad
    Hate to hear that a pal is having a tough time.

    You're a toughie, stick in there gal!

    ...and same for you Jayce! Not sure we've ever met in the "real" world, but I hope it all works out.
  • MOD
    MOD
    Damn how many of us on in the same boat?? :shock:

    I waiting desperately for a call from this job I interviewed for, otherwise well.... let just say I'll be hanging at Franklin Park with Alfy a WHOLE lot more!
  • shishkab
    shishkab
    image

    hang in there, cookie!
  • arlette
    arlette
    Hang in there. God doesnt give you more than you can bare. It will work out.
  • pitu
    pitu
    oy fucking vey
    sending you womens the best - hope it works out
    and one way or another, of course it does (bleech)

    if you don't vibe with the employment attnys you have, I can send you one
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    can you send me another? I'd love another contact since one of them is def not getting back to me.

    thanks.
  • filmlover44
    filmlover44
    Let me know if you don't find anyone. I know of one but can't get the number right now.
  • doctorj
    doctorj
    arlette wrote: Hang in there. God doesnt give you more than you can bare. It will work out.
    Except when He does and it doesn't. Frankly, life deals some really shitty cards sometimes. The best thing in those circumstances may be to throw the pack in the air.
  • jeffrey
    jeffrey
    Alfy,

    Sorry to hear.

    The following employment lawyer was recommended by someone I trust on a tech list, posted last year:
    Laurie Berke-Weiss of Berke-Weiss & Pechman [ http://www.bwp-law.com/ ]
    Really nice woman and a good employment lawyer. Her partner is, too, but I know her best.

    Contact info:

    Address
    488 Madison Avenue
    11th Floor
    New York NY 10022

    Phone
    212-583-9500
    Good luck with however you choose to proceed, and try to keep as calm, focused, organized and composed as possible as per all the great advice above.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    thank you very much everyone. I really appreciate all of this support and assistance. today a friend from the board called in a favor and borrowed a car - we got most of my personal items out of the office (but left just enough for it to not be obvi) and then we hit the ikea in bklyn for some shopping therapy. of course, now I'm sitting here working. awesome. not.

    plan for tomorrow - PST of all emails asking for help and all emails thanking me for my hard work. oh. and a copy of my last performance review (which I signed a week and a half ago) which says "AFN is a kickass employee". and that's THAT. oh, and of course lots of calls to lawyers.
  • jayce
    jayce
    um... that's not the best way to celebrate your birthday, now is it?
    just sayin.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    jayce wrote: um... that's not the best way to celebrate your birthday, now is it?
    just sayin.
    not really, no. but apparently I still get my bday off because the boston office celebrates patriots day. so I'll be home on tuesday (anyone? breakfast at tom's? lunch somehwere? dinner somewhere? hang out with me at cattyshack for poker night?)

    but. I'm also planning to quit tomorrow so ... maybe I won't have to go back on wednesday?

    xo

    (and sorry I didn't get back to you this weekend - are you around this week?)

    xo
  • jayce
    jayce
    Patriots day was in April. I know because its the day I had to run 26.2 miles. I am still tired from it. So its something else they are giving you off for...

    I wish i were around this week. I head back to Hartford in an hour. I hate this project. but no worries about not getting back to me. you've got a lot going on. i'll be back in town on Friday and would love to take you out for a beer or something.

    in the meantime, chin up.
    and Happy Birthday, Alfy.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    jayce wrote: Patriots day was in April. I know because its the day I had to run 26.2 miles. I am still tired from it. So its something else they are giving you off for...

    I wish i were around this week. I head back to Hartford in an hour. I hate this project. but no worries about not getting back to me. you've got a lot going on. i'll be back in town on Friday and would love to take you out for a beer or something.

    in the meantime, chin up.
    and Happy Birthday, Alfy.
    basically, boston office gets patriots day. every other office gets their birthday. since I'm in NY .... :)

    and thank you. love you mucho. say hi, hugs and love to you-know-who.
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