What would you do?---out of curiousity

gretch · September 2008

I just want to hear people's opinion; what would you do when your favorit restaurant/bar, which you have been stopping by and being supportive ever since they opened and did not have many people coming in---mistreated you?

Let's say it was your staple place to go(bar, exact) and you have many fine memories, bartender friends, etc. To make things worse, that was not employee the owner who treated me unkindly.

Recently something like this happened to me, and half of me would love to go back again (since it's been a big favorite place and perfect spot to walk from home) but half of me is pretty upsett and hurt and not sure if I could enjoy myself there like before. I am not posting this to blame the place but more out of curiousity. Have any of you experienced something like that? What was the incident and did you let it go or just never stopped by?

scarlett · September 2008

I would try not to be so sensitive and take it personally. Everyone has a bad day! If you really like that place, go back! If the owner is mean to you again, tell them to FOAD, stomp your foot and yell really loudly that you will not be returning to a place with live roaches in the ice! Hee hee.

vidro3 · September 2008

go back. speak to the owner or whoever it was who mistreated you. state your case calmly and politely. if the owner is nice to you, yay, the establishment has redeemed itself.

if the owner is a jerk to you post on brooklynian again and none of us will ever go there again.

christina · September 2008

Define mistreated.

gretch · September 2008

I would say, in this case, " make you feel not welcomed".

christina · September 2008

Hmmm. If it's your favorite place and this only happened once go back. If you still dont' feel welcome then you can either address it with them or never go back.

khuntiennang · September 2008

yeah, i guess it depends on how many times it had happened. if it's only once, i would go back.

kosherdave · September 2008

how mistreated were you? I'd probably not go back there for a year or so, but I hold a grudge like that, so that's just me. You could find a new favorite place and say Fuck You to the old place.

j0518 · September 2008

How well do you know the owner? Was it the owner themself who mistreated you?

I'm friends with the owners of a place here in the Slope and I've been unhappy with the way I've been treated by the hostess there several times. The owners, however, sometimes ask me "hey, how do you think our servers are doing?", etc., and I'm able to tell them. However, if it was them doing the mistreatment, I'd tell them personally.

raw · September 2008

What type of mistreatment? Were you called a "dirty tinker" and told to "go back to your country" ? If it was an ethnic slur, I would never return.

If it was just bad communication that happened in the heat of the moment and you want to return to the restaurant, I would contact the appropriate person at the restaurant and attempt to have a non-threatening conversation.

littlematchgirl · September 2008

As others said, depends on what "mistreated" means. Were they brusque and unwelcoming or did somebody actually do or say something over the top?

Suggest going back in and seeing how you feel. If you still feel the bad vibe, there are plenty of other places you can cultivate as your 'regular' place.

If the owner says "where have you been?" or something similar you have a good opening to say "Well, the last time I was here......"

drunken revival · September 2008

I think we all want to know what place it was... by "we all" I mean me. PM Gretch I won't tell anyone. Was it Loki?

Anyway, my advice would be to not go back for at least 3 weeks... cool off, let your hurt simmer or subside a bit. Then go back. It is irrelevant how you define "mistreated".

What matters is that if/when you go back that hurt will either be stronger which means you were hurt more than you care to admit... or it will have subsided which means there is a good chance all will be well.

Or, you could release pregnant rats and roaches in the bathroom and have the health department shut them down.

gretch · September 2008

Thanks everybody for advices! They gave me good perspecitve. I think they deserve second chance (wheather or not they want it) I would wait until I feel like going back and then I'll see how it goes.

Drunken Revival, it was not Loki--

Just to explain, it was not like they made snide remarks or racistic comment, it was more how they said/ treated me in certain situation which made me unwelcomed (therefore hurt me) , the experience was mare personal. The intention of the post was that I wanted to know how people react/reacted under this kind of experience, so I did not think I need to go into detail nor explain where did it happen.

Anyways I appreciate all for posting I would love to hear more story if somebody have similer experience.

seespaces · September 2008

I agree with the second chancers...you will forget about it, they will forget also.

I am totally paranoid about overdoing it and acting like a clown in my favorite place, hence if I leave and feel like another drink, I go to this other place I also like:).

bklyn.x · September 2008

There are too many fun, welcoming bars in Brooklyn to just let that crap slide; I’d never go back. The reason they’re in business is so you have a good time. One of the bars that I regular I’ve been going to for more than 30 years, knew the bars namesake, played hockey for the sponsored team, had a drink there on my wedding day with my brother, blah, blah, blah; if one of the owners made me feel unwelcome (and I wasn’t acting like an asshole) I’d never go back.

What would you do?---out of curiousity

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