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Q Train Masturbator — Brooklynian

Q Train Masturbator

Emailed to me from an unregistered poster:

On Thursday 12/29 at 10:35am, I ran into a subway masturbator on the Q train going over the Manhattan bridge. Believe me, there was no mistaking what he was doing. There were ~8 other people on the train, but all of them were sitting in other "sections" of the car.

I decided that I could disarm him by yelling at him, so as we went over the bridge, I said loudly something along the lines of "Excuse ME, but if you think I can't tell that YOU'RE MASTURBATING, you're wrong, and in case you're too dumb to have noticed, I just took two pictures of you with my cameraphone, which I will show to the police. There are usually lots of them at Atlantic Ave." This pretty much stopped him and got the notice of other people on the train. The train stopped between the bridge and DeKalb, and someone tried to go get the conductor, but of course all the doors were locked (thanks MTA!). Now we were trapped with this weirdo, who stood up and went towards the door, farther away from me, muttering some nonsense about how hard it is for a black man in this day and age to get "sucked off" when the world is full of "white and latino bitches."

When the doors opened at DeKalb, he ran off, and I and another woman went off looking for the police. We couldn't find anyone fast enough, but the token booth clerk phoned them and some officers arrived about 5 or 10 minutes later. I gave my description and showed my crappy, blurry photo and everything, but they didn't even take my name so I don't think they were intending to look for him.

That's too bad, because my guess would be that the guy does this a lot. Why else would he be carrying so many napkins around? (Yuck.) Also, I got the distinct impression that he did not originally intend to get off the train at DeKalb, which means there's a pretty good chance that he rides the train to or past 7th Ave.

Description: African-American man, 40-ish, not clean-shaven, about 6 feet tall with a medium build. Wearing a tan shearling coat (seamed suede on the outside, fur on the inside), gray slacks, and carrying a black leather attaché case.
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Comments

  • Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D

    That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!! Good for you!!
  • i hear some of my female friends seen this before(in the past). wow i gotta say you got guts for saying something.
  • oh why dont you post the pics on the net and i'm sure someone on the net with alot of free time could put posters up all over the q train :p. someone gonna recognize him. or would shame him into not doing this.
  • which took longer to come?

    The train, cops or the weirdo?
  • Oiseau wrote: which took longer to come?

    The train, cops or the weirdo?
    :lol::lol: to come haha.
  • Please post the picture! It worked before, remember? Thank you for doing what you did, on behalf of all of us!
  • yeah seriously thanks for saying something. maybe the sick bastard will realise he can't get away with this shit.

    but its good that you told the cops (even if they probably do nothing)... the guy could be a lot worse than an exhibitionist. he could be a rapist.etc.etc.

    gross.
  • damn, what an awful story. I'm glad you're OK and that you took such quick action.
  • too bad the camera phones camera sucks :(. but hehe somebody could recognize him from that pic for sure.
  • Now that's class!
  • i wonder if there is any type of free fbi like touch up software to make the picture look sharper :p.
  • Hey, a cameraphone pic is what caused that raw foods restaurant guy to get caught for subway wanking a couple of months ago! How much you wanna bet this gets picked up by Gothamist and/or Gawker soon?
  • even the name for the guy would sell well. Q Train Masturbator rings right off the tongue.
  • Hereby abbreviated to:

    QTM
  • Subject: really?

    i can't believe that jigga can't get sucked off wearing such a pimp coat. c'mon fur, baby. bitches' gotta love that shit. he must've been rockin some canal st bling too..
  • Is that a purse in his hand?

    I know of several other instances of this kind of thing happening. It's more common than you might imagine. Wash your hands after you get off the subway!! :(
  • I hope he properly disposed of those napkins.
  • WASH YOU HANDS! :shock: :twisted:

    I think the "purse" will have been the aforementioned attache case.
  • EmilyM wrote: WASH YOU HANDS!
    OMG, before I scrolled down to your post I was so ready to say that! ;-)
  • EmilyM wrote: WASH YOU HANDS! :shock: :twisted:
    yo. trying to traumatize me?

    mimosas tomorrow?
  • Subject: btw

    not only is he trying to jack himself off on the train, i do think he may be breaking two new laws:

    1. taking up more than one seat by spreading his legs. i guess when you're erect, you're forced to.

    2. drinking. is that a poland spring water in the seat next to him?
  • Subject: Re: btw

    ltjbukem wrote: not only is he trying to jack himself off on the train, i do think he may be breaking two new laws:

    1. taking up more than one seat by spreading his legs. i guess when you're erect, you're forced to.

    2. drinking. is that a poland spring water in the seat next to him?
    good catch
  • i saw that coat on the corner of st.john's @ washington... not that it was the same guy, but as a test i guess i could have asked if he had a napkin... or 50 !!!
  • Come on now, people. Give this fellow a break. You clearly have no idea how hard it is for a guy to get sucked off while riding the subway. What's a guy to do? And give him some credit: he DID have a briefcase full of napkins with which to clean up after himself. Very thoughtful, if you ask me.

    Ick.

    (Me, I've never had the misfortune of catching a public masturbator on the subway, though I've seen my share of Public Penis Exposures. I've found they're usually just hanging out (literally), instead of being "flashed" to people. So pathetic, and so so gross.)
  • I have a similar jacket, leather bag, and a pack of napkins with Q's printed on them (gift). Halloween is what... 10 months away?
  • Sarah from the Slope wrote: (Me, I've never had the misfortune of catching a public masturbator on the subway, though I've seen my share of Public Penis Exposures. I've found they're usually just hanging out (literally), instead of being "flashed" to people. So pathetic, and so so gross.)
    I would wager that the "accidental" weiner hang is probably done quite on purpose 99% of the time. I mean, maybe the menfolk on the board can let us know if unintended wang slippage is really a common problem for them. I doubt it.
  • apollonia666 wrote: [quote=Sarah from the Slope](Me, I've never had the misfortune of catching a public masturbator on the subway, though I've seen my share of Public Penis Exposures. I've found they're usually just hanging out (literally), instead of being "flashed" to people. So pathetic, and so so gross.)
    I would wager that the "accidental" weiner hang is probably done quite on purpose 99% of the time. I mean, maybe the menfolk on the board can let us know if unintended wang slippage is really a common problem for them. I doubt it. never happen to me but i left fly unzip many times, when i am in a rush :/.
  • um... what happend to the pics?
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