The Dead Squirrel Story (Warning: Photos of dead squirrel)

I had two squirrels move into my birdhouse and named the Battleship and Canary. They were really cool squirrels, always looking out for each other and filling the birdhouse with food and newspaper. I took pictures of them and said goodnight to them every night, everything was cool. One morning I woke to find Canary dead, lodged half in/half out of the birdhouse. I called my friends to help "clean up". Terry got eerily excited about it and asked to take pictures so here it is.

Here's a picture of the late Canary.


Clean up squad asks for a broom.

They find that Canary is just too lodged in. I leave the apartment and sit in the hallway, but I can still hear Terry's squeals of joy as they try to dislodge Canary from his resting place.


Jenny is shouting "It's frozen! It's frozen!" Terry asks if I have any tongs.


DJM asks if I have any plastic bags. I'm sitting on the hallway stairs thinking I was wrong about DJM, he's quite possibly the most strong willed, fearless person I have ever met.


I wonder if I can nominate him for something, like Sassy's "Boys we dig".


I can't believe he doesn't have a girlfriend. Does your emo ass boyfriend do this?


I wonder if we should bring it to the park and give it a proper burial. Jenny says "It lived on the streets, it dies on the streets". I start writing my hip hop album.


I serve bundt cake


The end.