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Saturday Night - event space next to Ripple — Brooklynian

Saturday Night - event space next to Ripple

alafairnadia
alafairnadia
edited November -1 in Prospect Heights
I'm going to say a few things up front: I didn't call the cops, which I now realize was a mistake; I didn't get hurt and am a-ok; and I'm not saying that someone did anything totally unforgivable or inexcusable. I guess I'm not even giving anyone a real warning or whining about something - mostly I'm trying to share how I handled this situation in case the knowledge ever helps one of you.

so Saturday night, on the way home from Soda via St. Johns (dropped a friend of at her building) I turned onto Washington from St. Johns toward Sterling to my building. I noticed that the event space next door to the Ripple space was having a party and there were a bunch of folks milling about on the sidewalk. this was around 3:30 a.m. anyway, my side of the street was empty - no pedestrians.

my building has a door at sidewalk level, some steps in an interior hallway, and then another door at the top of those steps. I got through the first doorway and was halfway up the steps when I heard someone calling to me. I turned around and two men from the party across the street were holding my front door open. they both had plastic cups and were pretty clearly intoxicated. they told me that they just wanted to talk to me and get to know me. I told them that I was tired and wanted to go to bed and that they needed to leave and shut the door so I could do so. then they told me that they didn't want to mug or rape me or hurt me - they just wanted to talk. and I repeated that I needed them to leave. one of the guys (not wearing a blazer) told me that if I shook his hand, he'd leave. so I shook his hand and said goodnight and they started backing through the door. I started back up the stairs and then heard a noise behind me. the guy in the blazer was right behind me. he repeated that he didn't want to hurt me but that he wanted to get to know me. I told him that he needed to leave so that I could go home, that I wasn't going to open the second door until they left. I took out my cell phone and edged up toward the buzzers in case I needed to hit them all and start screaming. the non-blazer guy grabbed his friend and pulled him back down the stairs toward the street. but then they stayed in the doorway, not letting the door shut. and I finally said "you have to shut the door or I'm calling the police." and they did so, but not without calling me a "fucking bitch."

anyway, I realize now that I should have called the police on the event space, at least. but I was a bit shaken and didn't think of it until today.

I'm planning to talk to my coop board about the situation and ask them to talk to the owners of the event space and tell them that they need to hire security or that we'll start calling the cops on them to shut them down. the open containers alone would get them shut down.

Comments

  • armchair_warrior
    armchair_warrior
    could of been like rape type of situation :/ sounds scarry.
  • pensodyssey
    pensodyssey
    Well that certainly sucks.
  • stacey
    stacey
    I am so glad you are okay.
  • jaha127
    jaha127
    Alafairnadia... I can definitely relate to the experience that you had. It’s very unfortunate, that some people make it unbelievably hard just to walk down the street, and in your case walk into your home without harassing you. Thankfully, these guys weren’t crazy and they eventually left you alone…

    But here’s a question, how should we handle these situations? Do we respond to these guys? I mean I would’ve done the same thing that you did, shook the guy hand so hopefully he’d leave me alone… and sometimes I smile when they are “trying to get to know me” but I dunno cause sometimes they actually think that I am interested and try to follow me home or wherever I am going… I try to ignore guys when they are yelling at me from across the street, and this seems to infuriate them and cause them to start calling every derogatory name that they ever learned…

    Anyway… I am glad that you are okay…
  • liftandcut
    liftandcut
    You know, I'm amazed the cops let that place stay open. There have been incidents and arrests in the past. I'ts kind of how the activities at Marc Ballrooom were overlooked in the '80s and '90s, even thought there were horrific fights and a lot of underage drinkers. I hope they crack down on that place.
  • vanilla
    vanilla
    this place makes me HATE summer. i have had to call 911 on this place before::: mostly what comes to mind is the guy getting smacked in the head with the metal baseball bat as others came flooding out into the street using folding chairs as weapons.

    ..and always after 3-4am, really drunk people yelling and yelling and yelling.

    SO happy i was away this weekend.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    thanks all. I've emailed the president of the co-op board of my building to find out if the board has ever approached the owner of that space. if we have, then I'm going to propose that all of us, in my building and others on the street, call 911 whenever they see a party there. I will probably do it out of spite no matter what, cause the more I think about what happened, the more I realize I got absurdly lucky.

    if those guys had been a little drunker or a little meaner, things could have gotten violent.
  • stacey
    stacey
    alafairnadia wrote: thanks all. I've emailed the president of the co-op board of my building to find out if the board has ever approached the owner of that space. if we have, then I'm going to propose that all of us, in my building and others on the street, call 911 whenever they see a party there. I will probably do it out of spite no matter what, cause the more I think about what happened, the more I realize I got absurdly lucky.

    if those guys had been a little drunker or a little meaner, things could have gotten violent.
    Has the co-op ever thought about installing a motion sensor/security camera light?
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    jaha127 wrote: But here’s a question, how should we handle these situations? Do we respond to these guys? I mean I would’ve done the same thing that you did, shook the guy hand so hopefully he’d leave me alone… and sometimes I smile when they are “trying to get to know me” but I dunno cause sometimes they actually think that I am interested and try to follow me home or wherever I am going… I try to ignore guys when they are yelling at me from across the street, and this seems to infuriate them and cause them to start calling every derogatory name that they ever learned…
    well, I took a self-defense class a few years ago and they had this like 5 points of safety thingy (one for each finger on your hand or some such b.s.). I've forgotten most of them but I think the first one was escape and the second one was comply until you can escape. and one of them was something about using an assertive tone in your voice. (I obviously retained this stupid class really well, eh?)

    anyway, I think most women view aggressive men in threatening situations* almost like wild animals that need to be placated - we try to comply with them to keep them happy, since happy beasts are way better than pissed off beasts. but probably the mistake we make is offering encouragement of any sort - being nice. smiling, saying "thank you" to the faux compliments, speaking softly, trying to look non-threatening, etc. I was trying to be polite, and use assertiveness in my voice and stance to get them to leave. I kept turning around to face them, advancing on them except for when the guy was on the steps, at which point I backed up, but to threaten him with the buzzers, not out of fear. eventually it worked, but I think only because I had my phone out and threatened to call the police. cause I was scared shitless - when I saw them the first time all I could think was "oh, fuck. this is not going to end well."

    what really freaked me out, and what keeps freaking me out, is that these guys KNEW that they presented a very threatening picture. two men trapping a woman alone in a foyer. that's scary. then, while their actions remained threatening - holding the door open, demanding contact, coming through the door to approach - they tried to be reassuring by saying that they weren't going to engage in worst-case-scenario behavior - that they weren't going to mug or rape or hurt me. no matter how they tried to couch the behavior, it remained threatening. that really bothered me - somewhere in their drunk-brains (and maybe drugged-brains) they thought that they were behaving reasonably, even though somewhere else in their brains they knew they were being completely unreasonable, hence their need to "reassure" me.

    *by threatening I mean the situation I described - you're trapped, alone, with two men. relatively non-threatening would be some aggressive guy at Soda, say, where you're surrounded by people and can get rid of the guy by saying a few words to the bartender, or just telling him to fuck off. and hoping he doesn't follow you.
  • jack krohn
    jack krohn
    Alafairnadia,

    Yes, you did get extremely lucky. Once you shook that guy's hand, he could have easily grabbed and subdued you. I'm glad that you're OK.

    After I was mugged many years ago, I adopted the following when approaching my front door: I always have the key out so that I don't have to spend time searching for it; before I insert the key, I make sure to look over my shoulder to see if anyone is around; once I'm in the vestibule, I turn around and make sure the first door is closed and locked before I proceed to the next; and then I repeat the same step with the second door. It sounds arduous, but it's become second nature for me.

    I'm not trying to blame you for what happened. I just think that one can never be too careful.
  • liftandcut
    liftandcut
    Cameras, or even phony cameras help a lot.
  • liftandcut
    liftandcut
    One thing that people have to realize is that you should ALWAYS watch your back. Growing up in the city, that's the first thing a kid learns. I look over my shoulder no matter what neighborhood I'm in. It can help give a person enough time to make the proper decision.
  • alafairnadia
    alafairnadia
    Jack Krohn wrote: Alafairnadia,

    Yes, you did get extremely lucky. Once you shook that guy's hand, he could have easily grabbed and subdued you. I'm glad that you're OK.

    After I was mugged many years ago, I adopted the following when approaching my front door: I always have the key out so that I don't have to spend time searching for it; before I insert the key, I make sure to look over my shoulder to see if anyone is around; once I'm in the vestibule, I turn around and make sure the first door is closed and locked before I proceed to the next; and then I repeat the same step with the second door. It sounds arduous, but it's become second nature for me.

    I'm not trying to blame you for what happened. I just think that one can never be too careful.
    Jack, it's funny - I do the same thing. I skipped a step that night, but I honestly don't think it made a difference. I got my keys out as I dropped off my friend in front of her building. when I came around the corner I looked down the block and saw no one was on the street and noticed the party across the street. I opened the door to my place and all I can think is that those guys ran across washington while I was turning the key (my building is literally directly across the street from that space). while I didn't close the door behind me, I was barely on the second step before they were in the door - I don't think I could have prevented them from gaining entrance.

    but yes, the keys-in-hand policy is a very good one, and I have not let myself forget part two of that since then - close the door behind you.

    and yes - I got mega lucky.
  • liftandcut
    liftandcut
    The key thing is smart. I pull my keys out long before I get to my building. We don't even have a doorknob so, it's a little unsettling.
  • armchair_warrior
    armchair_warrior
    glad that youre okay. you should ask them if they can put up camera's or something in the lobby.
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