Dear Brooklynians,
So a friend of mine has a cat. He has had the cat since it was a kitten, I'd say the cat has to be about 14 - 15 years old. Anyway, he is thinking about giving it to a friend who has a cat and has usually had two cats because the woman he is dating is allergic to cats and he wants to have her over.
Now why can't they just go to her place, you ask?
Because she lives in one of those "residencies for women" and they do not allow men to go up to the rooms.
On one hand he feels bad that he will be losing a friend (the cat) and possibly subjecting it to the terrors of moving to a new place, with a new cat (a kitten at that!).
But his cat currently sits alone everyday for 10 - 12 hours while he is at work so he feels his cat will eventually thank him for breaking up the monotony.
So I ask you, is this right for him to do this?
Should he just forget that chick and move on?
What would you do if you were him?
All opinions will be considered and passed on.
Now why can't they just go to her place, you ask?
Because she lives in one of those "residencies for women" and they do not allow men to go up to the rooms.
On one hand he feels bad that he will be losing a friend (the cat) and possibly subjecting it to the terrors of moving to a new place, with a new cat (a kitten at that!).
But his cat currently sits alone everyday for 10 - 12 hours while he is at work so he feels his cat will eventually thank him for breaking up the monotony.
So I ask you, is this right for him to do this?
Should he just forget that chick and move on?
What would you do if you were him?
All opinions will be considered and passed on.
Comments
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What the fuck kind of people do you hang out with?
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Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: What the fuck kind of people do you hang out with?
Crazy people, obviously. -
He should keep the cat and dump the girlfriend.
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Yeah, keep kitteh.
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Keep the cat until it is "serious" and looking permanent. She will demonstrate that it is "serious" (and that she is ready for visiting with men in a home environment) by moving out of the weird housing and getting a regular apartment/room in a shared apt/etc.
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Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: What the fuck kind of people do you hang out with?
bwahahahahaahah
+10!
keep the cat, bang her in the car.
That is obviously what this is about. Trading one P* for the other P*
cat humor! -
He doesn't have a car and doesn't make enough to afford a nice hotel.
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Seriously. I have a job, my own apartment, a great rack and I'm single. Apparently, I can reel in all da mens I need if I move into a halfway house. Jesus Christ.
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Subject: WTF?
So let me get this straight - this "friend" (a title I would strongly urge YOU to reconsider) has an elderly pet which has provided him with nothing but unconditional love and affection throughout the years.
Your "friend" is now considering tossing out this loyal animal into a strange and possibly hostile environment because he has the chance to get laid? Mighty fine set of values.
Someone go rescue the cat, bitch slap this selfish bastard and get the girlfriend some antihistamines. -
^^ YAY!!! Domino!
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And spare me the bullshit that the kitten will keep the cat company - if the cat is 14/15, it has no interest in being harassed by a juvenile.
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Subject: Re: WTF?
Domino wrote: So let me get this straight - this "friend" (a title I would strongly urge YOU to reconsider) has an elderly pet which has provided him with nothing but unconditional love and affection throughout the years.
But wouldn't the cat provide the next "friend" unconditional love as long as that "friend" feeds him?
Your "friend" is now considering tossing out this loyal animal into a strange and possibly hostile environment because he has the chance to get laid? Mighty fine set of values.
And plus the cat would have a "cat friend" to hang with during the daytime AND a "human friend" who mostly works from home to see to his every need. -
Nope, adult cats do NOT like little kittens unless they have always been subjected to that type of household. The cat WILL BE MISERABLE.
Meredith, you need to reconsider your friends. Boy the issues here.....
Domino is my new favorite member!!! -
Rather than go through all the drama, for some chick he's probably going to be sick of in a couple of weeks/months why not invest in Benadryl, Claritin, Zyrtec and a Dyson. Its cheaper, less heartless, and he can have his P* and keep it too.
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Cats are not pack animals such as dogs - they need to acclimate and accept new humans as well as other cats. Some cats never adapt and try to return to more familiar settings. Given this, it is almost like asking your grandmother to leave the home she has lived in for the last 80 years and move in with a teenager and his mother.
Cats are independent and do not need constant attention; they are also nocturnal by nature - during the day the cat is most likely napping in a favorite safe and comfy spot.
I think the arguments being thrown down are just arguments to ease the guilt. The cat is NOT going to be happier, the cat is NOT going to acclimate easily and the cat is NOT being done any favors by being thrown to someone else who already has a young cat.
So let your friend follow his dick - hope he can live with the guilt if the cat suffers for it. -
Um, let me throw in some facts, based on real studies, paraphrased by me.
Cat dander lingers for a very long time after the cat is removed and it travels very easily. So, even if he gets rid of the cat it will be 3+ months before the dander might be gone with good cleaning. Assuming the allergy is real and severe, she will still have her allergic reaction with the cat gone at first. And he is likely carrying the dander with him, so if she's highly allergic, it's likely she would have a reaction simply by being near him often.
Info based on anecdotal evidence (ie friends in similar situations), if you spend time with a cat, the allergy may lessen. This was discussed in a similar thread a while back (someone looking for a temp. foster for her cat since bf was allergic). My friend who was highly allergic ended up living with a cat when his wife brought home a semi-feral cat. He was miserable at first but over time he became accustomed to the cat and now only has problems when he goes away for a week or more and then he has a mild reaction when he first gets home. If it's a potentially long term deal, she should just try getting used to it.
I think it's cruel to do that to the cat just as a general feeling, but if it happens to be a really social cat, maybe (big maybe) it can just stay with a friend for a weekend every now and then, preferably one with no pets and that the cat knows.
No men allowed housing?? Is this in NYC? Are they adults? -
^What Domino said. Cats don't want friends. The owner is the cat's friend. Of course there are exceptions, particularly littermates, but don't expect an elderly cat to react joyfully to a rambunctious kitten.
Not to minimize allergies b/c I know some people are severely allergic, but in many cases the allergies will lessen with exposure to the animal. This has been true for me with our 2 cats and 1 dog.
However, if the guy is such a jerk that he would abandon his old kitteh friend, perhaps the cat would be better off in a new home. -
Just had a doctor last week tell me I needed to get rid of my 14 year old cat to help rid me of lung problems I have. Me:"That's not going to happen." Him:"then you'll continute to wheeze and not get better," Me:"I'd rather wheeze then ditch my cat." To think this person would toss his cat like that, not feeling any love this guy has for his cat. My cat is looking at me now trying to crawl on my laptop (and secretly thanking me I believe)
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Hell I would throw my husband of 20 years out before I got rid of my kitties.
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stacey wrote: Hell I would throw my husband of 20 years out before I got rid of my kitties.
Hahahaha...I think fear of that kept my bf from wanting us to get a dog. -
My allergy doctor told me the same thing, apresvu. He was quite heartless about it. I went to him to get allergy meds before visiting dog-owners on Thanksgiving. I admitted that I am slightly allergic to cats as well (at that point, we had just the two cats, not the dog). He said I should get rid of the cats. I told him that wasn't gonna happen.
When we got Louie the puppy the next month, I would get contact allergies whenever I picked him up or petted him. It still happens occasionally, but now the rashy bumps disappear within minutes.
I hate to say that allergies are all psychological, b/c I am an allergy sufferer myself, but I do think that with sufficient motivation, allergies can be overcome to a great degree. -
Please send Louie to me til your allergies clear. kthx.
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I'm highly allergic to my foster cat, yet, here I am months later still alive and still loving his company. I write this as I just sneezed
and YES it does get better with time, especially if you are a cat lover and want to get better (via allergy pills) -
Mamacita wrote: I'm highly allergic to my foster cat, yet, here I am months later still alive and still loving his company. I write this as I just sneezed
Stop calling your cat a foster cat already! :twisted: and YES it does get better with time, especially if you are a cat lover and want to get better (via allergy pills) -
Is this a joke?? Who would give up their 15 year old cat for some chick who doesn't even have a real place to live? The "girlfriend" will probably go back to where ever she came from (could be Ohio or Japan-- doesn't matter) as soon as they have a disagreement....or she finds some other ass to take care of her!! Tell your friend that I said I really hope someday someone considers tossing him aside as he is doing to the old kitty.
PS-- I don't even like cats!!!! -
Anastasia Beaverhausen wrote: Please send Louie to me til your allergies clear. kthx.
Ha! Over my dead, allergic body! Nick (who is technically Louie's owner) might be moving out and I'm completely freaking out b/c I can't live without Louie. I guess I'm gonna be one of those nutty grandparents who try to take their grandchildren away from their kids. I don't know how it happened, b/c I've been a cat person for my entire life, but I cannot live without this dog. -
Carnivore wrote: [quote=Mamacita]I'm highly allergic to my foster cat, yet, here I am months later still alive and still loving his company. I write this as I just sneezed
Stop calling your cat a foster cat already! :twisted: and YES it does get better with time, especially if you are a cat lover and want to get better (via allergy pills)
I can't keep him, I can't afford him-I'm broke!
But I also don't want him to go to a bad home and so far all the people who reply to craigslist have been really weird and have no experience will a 'project cat'. :roll: it sucks. But I know there's a perfect home for him somewhere. -
OK I'm looking for a solution for him here, how about if the cat just goes and visits the other cat for the weekends to reduce direct contact with the woman with the allergies? Yeah there will be dander but some Febreze, a vacuuming and fresh sheets should help things, no?
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antigone wrote: [quote=Anastasia Beaverhausen]Please send Louie to me til your allergies clear. kthx.
Ha! Over my dead, allergic body! Nick (who is technically Louie's owner) might be moving out and I'm completely freaking out b/c I can't live without Louie. I guess I'm gonna be one of those nutty grandparents who try to take their grandchildren away from their kids. I don't know how it happened, b/c I've been a cat person for my entire life, but I cannot live without this dog.
I just wanna cuddle him for a day. Or ten years.
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