Alternate Side Rant

snickers76 · December 2009

Before I begin, here are a few facts about me: I am a driver, car-owner, Park Slope resident and native Brooklynite.

Why do the car-owning residents of this neighborhood think it is ok to merely move their car to the middle of the street forcing drivers to use the bike lanes to pass by or even worse, double park along the legal side of the street blocking the cars that are parked legally?

I was stuck for 20 minutes today trying to get in touch with a car owner who simply left a Chinese food menu in their window as a contact number. I had to play friggin' detective just to get in my car.

Alternate side equals getting your ass into your car and driving around until you find a legal spot. Move it the night before if you have to or drive it to a meter and feed it with quarters for an hour and a half.

I don't give a shit what I have to do to get this practice to stop. I will be out on alternate side days flagging down ticket agents on 5th and 7th avenue and calling their supervisors if they fail to write tickets. I will take video and send it to Arnold Diaz. I've already called the local precinct and 311 to notify them of this lost revenue and illegal practice.

There is no such thing as a "courtesy" for alternate side of the street parking rules. This guy was seriously lucky I didn't have a blunt/sharp object in my car or I would have bashed in his windows and slashed his tires.

This shit pisses me off.

Thanks for reading my vent.

carmen · December 2009

vandalizing someone's car for 20 minutes of inconvenience? Sounds like YOU are the one who was lucky that there wasn't a sharp object around...that sounds like a pretty fucking stupid reason to go to jail.

modsquad · December 2009

Was that you?

curs -n- cats · December 2009

Somebody needs to eat more snickers and have a beer or three.

I eagerly await the Arnold Diaz report :-({|=

willregistersoon · December 2009

And if you vandalize them, you don't even have any way to get away.

daveon8th · December 2009

Subject: Re: Alternate Side Rant

snickers76 wrote: Before I begin, here are a few facts about me: I am a driver, car-owner, Park Slope resident and native Brooklynite.

There is no such thing as a "courtesy" for alternate side of the street parking rules. This guy was seriously lucky I didn't have a blunt/sharp object in my car or I would have bashed in his windows and slashed his tires.

No one cares where you are from and if you drive a car.

You wouldn't have done anything to this car. Your response was to run home to the internet and write up a post where no one agrees with what you wrote. Hundreds, likely thousands of people, deal with alternate side and you are in the extreme minority in complaining about this. No way you've ever keyed a car and for threatening to "snitch".........hah. I bet you are one of my dumb neighbors that leaves notes over our building complaining about apartment living instead of ever making eye contact or speaking with anyone. Shame, shame, shame on you.

carp · December 2009

I was wondering about this. Does everyone just move their own car over for alternate side, or does everyone pay someone to do this during the cleaning hours?

snarkslope · December 2009

willregistersoon wrote: And if you vandalize them, you don't even have any way to get away.

Post Of The Year right here.

snarkslope · December 2009

Subject: Re: Alternate Side Rant

Snicks, I totally agree with you, it's frustrating as all get out to be blocked in, and once I was late to a home equity loan signing at a bank because a car was double parked next to me with no contact info. Sucked. So you have my sympathy, but:

snickers76 wrote: I've already called the local precinct and 311 to notify them of this lost revenue and illegal practice.

Really? Did you think the local precinct wasn't aware that people double park on alternate-side days? This is where I start to wonder if you are reality-based.

unrepentant fenian · December 2009

So glad to see you all giving princess snickers the smackdown he deserves. Where are you from? Alternate side occurs on almost every block in this city sometimes 4 times a week. Traffic would grind to a halt citywide if all alternate side cars had to circle the block looking for parking.

jr_in_nyc · December 2009

Luckily I don't own a car, and even if I did, the police don't allow double parking on 15th Street.

If I did own a car I'd purchase a set of these http://www.amazon.com/Go-Jack-Vehicle-Dolly-Caster-System/dp/B001W1UFV0/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t

If I was blocked in and couldn't get a hold of the owner, I'd just jack up the car and roll it across the street back to the original spot. Would be funny to see the look on the face of the owner who would return back to their car to find it back in it's original spot with a ticket and that annoying window sticker.

new2hood · December 2009

I totally agree with your beef. It drives me nuts. I'm assuming you are ranting, rather than being serious, about much of the above.

I love taking a spot right before alt side cleaning ends on a street where people are double parked, denying a double parker a space.

testiculon · December 2009

Snickers, you are completely and totally insane.

swngnmonk · December 2009

snickers, I have two solutions for you to choose from:

1. Get rid of your car, it seems like the stress of car ownership is getting to you.
2. Suck it up. It's part of owning a car in the city. Move your car before the ASS rules come into effect & you get boxed in.

melanarchy · December 2009

Wait. I'm confused. Everybody knows about the alternate side shuffle. If you need to get your car out DURING alternate side why are you parked on that block? If it's so trivial and easy to drive around and find spaces, what were you doing parking opposite an alt-side street when you needed your car?

ladylibertine · December 2009

melanarchy wrote: Wait. I'm confused. Everybody knows about the alternate side shuffle. If you need to get your car out DURING alternate side why are you parked on that block? If it's so trivial and easy to drive around and find spaces, what were you doing parking opposite an alt-side street when you needed your car?

Exactly! It's not rocket science, people.

new2hood · December 2009

No, but last I checked, double parking isn't legal either. Just ask the ambulance that couldn't get up 5th Street a few weeks ago because of double parked cars and delivery trucks.

b-n-b68 · December 2009

I sympathize. This summer I missed a flight because someone parked me in and did not leave a number. I frantically ran up and down the block ringing doorbells and asking passers-by if they knew whose car it was. I thought I would be safe -- I parked just above a driveway, so I would be able to back out no matter what. But a motorcycle snuck in to the tiny space behind me. I understand the need to double park sometimes, but the least people could do is leave contact numbers so you can deal with the situation.

pitu · December 2009

B&B68 wrote: I understand the need to double park sometimes, but the least people could do is leave contact numbers so you can deal with the situation.

^^ this.

swngnmonk · December 2009

pitu wrote: [quote=B&B68] I understand the need to double park sometimes, but the least people could do is leave contact numbers so you can deal with the situation.

^^ this.

It's funny - when I lived in Brooklyn Heights, the cops there would enforce an informal "leave contact info" policy. You could be double-parked "legally" for Alternate Side of the Street, but if you didn't leave a phone number visible, you'd get a double-parking ticket.

I liked that etiquette enforcement.

snickers76 · December 2009

Nasty, nasty, nasty.

FYI, this practice does not occur in all parts of Brooklyn. I have only seen it here in Park Slope.

Did someone seriously suggest that I not park legally so that someone can park illegally? What? And I'm insane?

I need my car. I'm not getting rid of it because some self-centered ass can't think ahead and re-park for alternate side.

Maybe the precinct knows, maybe they don't care. I don't give a shit. I called anyway. I will call again next time I see it too. And the next time. It only takes a minute or two. Well worth it, in my opinion.

Of course I wouldn't REALLY vandalize someone's car. That was hyperbole. However, I do have two feet to get away, dummies.

I can't believe you idiots support this "courtesy."

Gross.

testiculon · December 2009

And I'm calling the men in the white coats for you. Loony.

snickers76 · December 2009

Pffft...

homeowner · December 2009

snickers76 wrote:

FYI, this practice does not occur in all parts of Brooklyn. I have only seen it here in Park Slope.

This statement does not jibe with this one...

snickers76 wrote: Before I begin, here are a few facts about me: I am a driver, car-owner, Park Slope resident and native Brooklynite.

I was born and raised here and can tell you that not only does it occur in every part of Brooklyn that has ASS parking, it occurs in every part of the CITY that has these regulations on residential streets.

The police recognize that as a result of ASS parking there are not enough spaces to accommodate all the cars which is why they allow double parking on residential streets. The policitians realize that if every car that could not find a legal spot were ticketed every day in residential neighborhoods there would be a revolt, especially because areas such as Park Slope only have ASS two days a week, while poorer neighborhoods like Bushwick and East New York (which also have less regular street cleaning) are subjected to this requirement four days a week.

This is not some plot to make your life miserable. And contrary to what you think, you being legally right in this case doesn't mean your outrage is morally correct.

fishblimp · December 2009

i think your only solution is to move out of New York. Clearly you've lost it and therefore need to move to somewhere where you can reclaim yourself.

Take your knife with you.

snickers76 · December 2009

Sorry homeowner, but it's just not true. This does NOT occur in every part of the city with alternate side street regulations. I have lived all over Brooklyn, worked all over Brooklyn and I can attest to this fact.

I never said this was a plot to make my life miserable. The posters on this board love to assign characteristics to other people.

Who are you to tell me that my outrage at another person's utter lack of consideration for their neighbors is immoral. That's silly. You are silly.

I have NEVER had a problem on alternate side days finding a spot elsewhere. NEVER. I move my car. I would never dream of double parking my car, blocking several drivers in and LEAVING with just a take out menu in the window. Like I wrote earlier, if you agree with this practice you are the one who needs a reality check. You're grossly inconsiderate.

So in conclusion, the MTA/City/State or whoever wants to take bus passes away from kids, but wealthy Park Slope car owners who aren't even using their cars are given the "courtesy" of double parking for 3 hours a week blocking in legally parked drivers or forcing drivers to use bike lanes putting bikers at risk.

Yeah. I'm crazy.

retag · December 2009

homeowner wrote:
I was born and raised here and can tell you that not only does it occur in every part of Brooklyn that has ASS parking, it occurs in every part of the CITY that has these regulations on residential streets.

Not true. I was also born and raised here, and the only place I have seen ASS double-parking is in Park Slope. I spent most of my life in Queens, and I have NEVER seen anyone double park during ASS parking. No double parking in Williamsburg either. I always thought it was a Park Slope entitlement thing.

Double parking is illegal and double-parkers should be fined. Cops did ticket my block for about a month, so luckily the illegal practice of double parking has stopped. If you are too lazy to find a spot the night before, then maybe you should not have a car.

daveon8th · December 2009

snickers76 wrote:
Of course I wouldn't REALLY vandalize someone's car. That was hyperbole.

And this is why internet discussions are pointless. You are hiding behind hyperbole as an excuse. Just stop.

Think about it this way. You know that glazed over, disinterested look that people give you when you complain to them about things that everyone has to deal with in life? That is the look that this messageboard is collectively giving you after reading your drivel and empty threats.

burns · December 2009

i alwys wondered who the people were that were dumb enough to get boxed in on alternate side days.
heres a tip: if you need your car on a tuesday and the other side of the street has alt side on tuesdays at 9, you should get to your car before 845, ok?

snickers76 · December 2009

fishblimp wrote: i think your only solution is to move out of New York. Clearly you've lost it and therefore need to move to somewhere where you can reclaim yourself.

Take your knife with you.

Just another example of how posters just adore twisting words and posts. Who said anything about a knife, dummy?

I'm not going anywhere...but your double parked cars will be...

federica · December 2009

snickers76 wrote: [quote=fishblimp]i think your only solution is to move out of New York. Clearly you've lost it and therefore need to move to somewhere where you can reclaim yourself.

Take your knife with you.

Just another example of how posters just adore twisting words and posts. Who said anything about a knife, dummy?

I'm not going anywhere...but your double parked cars will be...

What were you going to slash the tires with? A shank or jedi mind tricks?

Alternate Side Rant

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