Brooklynian Ice Skating + Foist-a-thon: Sunday Jan 3rd 2010!

As an aspiring Dictator, I hereby declare that on Sunday afternoon (January 3rd) at 2 PM the following event will occur:

Brooklynian Ice Skating and Foist-a-thon 2010!

This event will consist of the following:

A. Ice Skating at the Prospect Park Rink by completely unskilled Brooklynians (In addition to yours truly, some of the unskilled people will even include cousins of yours truly). I believe it will cost a grand total of $11.50 to get in, rent skates, fall in front of people, and spend the rest of the day wearing wet jeans. Good Times!

http://www.prospectpark.org/visit/activities/ice_skating#Cost

B. A Foist-a-thon. In this event, people will bring the worst gift they have received, preferably wrapped in an ultra-classy, white plastic Key Food bag. This gift will then be foisted on an unsuspecting Brooklynian who has brought a similar "gift".

Gifts from office parties are encouraged! Gifts from prior holiday seasons and/or birthdays are encouraged! Gifts that you purchase from a Dollar Store on the way to the Ice Rink (because you either have no friends or are lucky enough to have friends who give you good gifts that you don't want to give away) are encouraged.

As the self-appointed Dictator and Organizer, I will supply a large contractor-Hefty bag for people to deposit their gifts and "draw" new gifts. The brilliance of this plan is that gifts left in the bag will conveniently be ready for disposal in the nearest dumpster.

Newbies, lurkers, and -yes- even regular posters are welcome!

Caution:
People who hate children are advised that children are known to frequent ice skating rinks; Prospect Park's rink is no exception. Some children even get around in strollers.

People who hate dogs are advised that dogs frequent Prospect Park, and are likely to be seen en route.

People who don't leave their apartment, and simply post all day, are advised that Prospect Park is, indeed, outside their apartment.

People who cannot cope with alternate side parking rules are advised that the skating rink may have rules they find similarly complex.

People are advised that it is often cold in early January, and whining about the fact that it is cold, will be considered by many attendees to be "lame".

People who believe that the mere suggestion of this event is somehow inherently discriminatory against their race, gender, class, veteran status, religion, sexual orientation, etc. are encouraged to a file complaint with the NYC Division of Human Rights. Please make sure to file said complaint while the rest of us (a reasonably diverse group of NYers) are actually attending and enjoying the event.

People who have diets, preferences or religious views that prohibit them from enjoying the inorganic, preservative-fortified items (such as pretzels, hot chocolate, and hot dogs) that are proudly featured by the highly regarded Propect Park Ice Rink Snack Bar are hereby encouraged to, both pack their own snacks AND not bother those who have taken the time to develop the refined palette required to appreciate such fine American delicacies.



discuss.