Disturbing sounds coming from downstairs
I live on the first floor of a small apartment building, and the super and his family live in the basement, directly below me. He has a few young children (2 boys and 1 girl between 8-12, approx), whom I've seen coming and going. They've always seemed very shy. Every so often I hear loud music playing from directly below. I didn't think anything of it until I listened closer a couple days ago and heard that the music was concealing the sound of a kid screaming, in agony, for an extended time. I don't want to get into the details but it was really really disturbing. I've paid closer attention since then and have noticed a few more occurrences.
I really don't want to think about what might be going on down there, knowing that there's a young girl. I'm tempted to call social services, or let the landlord know, but I don't know for certain what's going on and having the apartment directly above him, he'll obviously know who reported the abuse, and he has keys to my apartment.
You all are an enlightened bunch. Should I be the good samaritan and report him? Or is it none of my damn business, and too risky?
I really don't want to think about what might be going on down there, knowing that there's a young girl. I'm tempted to call social services, or let the landlord know, but I don't know for certain what's going on and having the apartment directly above him, he'll obviously know who reported the abuse, and he has keys to my apartment.
You all are an enlightened bunch. Should I be the good samaritan and report him? Or is it none of my damn business, and too risky?
Comments
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I definitely think you should file the report because then social services are legally obligated to investigate. You could just file some sort of report about the child showing signs of abuse, and don't include anything that might get the report traced back to you. Basically, don't mention that you hear the child in agony or even that you live in the building. It might technically be a false report, but you're covering your ass and doing the right thing at the same time. In the end, the family will be investigated.
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Report it immediately!
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this should be reported ASAP. It's better it's a false alarm than you come home one day to see a body bag and police. Just let them know you wish to be anonymous,but by all means report this occurrence. Always go with your Gut.
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Subject: Re: Disturbing sounds coming from downstairs
Kat Sloper wrote: he has keys to my apartment.
Change the cylinders in your locks first if you want. This is not an evictionable offense. It is way below the threshold of any court action by a landlord. -
if you hear screaming from pain being inflicted, the route to go is 911.
(obviously, screaming from arguments is not as serious.)
In most cases, ACS only has a mandate to make a visit within 24 hours, so they are not a resource for emergencies.
http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/cps/ -
Subject: Re: Disturbing sounds coming from downstairs
modsquad wrote: [quote=Kat Sloper]he has keys to my apartment.
Change the cylinders in your locks first if you want. This is not an evictionable offense. It is way below the threshold of any court action by a landlord.
Since the person with the keys is the super and not the landlord, I'm guessing that the fear might be retaliation if the super guesses that Kat reported them rather than eviction.
I agree....change the locks first if it makes you more comfortable.......then call.
Start out vague and see how much detail you need to give. I am sure they have had similar situations before and will do whatever they can to protect your identity.
If these kids are being abused or molested, they need an advocate -
I realize it is difficult and scary to get involved, even anonymously, but as IheartBKNY said, if the coroner visits one day you are not going to be able to live it down. And if you "don't want to go into details" then it sounds like it is way worse than someone getting a spanking.
I'd also add--how often do you hear of something happening to a "whistle-blower" in a child abuse case? I'm nowhere near an expert but it doesn't seem like the pathology that leads to child/spousal abuse extends to other people? Honest question though, maybe I just don't know what I'm talking about. -
Report it!!
...also, they won't know who reported it if you want to remain annonymous ... as a mandated reporter, the parents of my students don't know if it was me, a neighbor, another teacher, someone on the street, a family member, etc. who reports it. Please have someone look into this. -
During the many years I have lived in my apartment, I have reported brutal beatings of dogs and violent marital fights on several occasions.
PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO REPORT THESE SAVAGE PARENTS!
I was victimized by a vicious family in the days before legal protections.
REPORT THEM!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!!!! -
Subject: abuse
Ya gottta call. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't if something more terrible happens. And that child needs your help right away. -
Place an anonymous call to 911 and report it immediately. I would definitely have the locks changed. My apartment was burglarized a few years ago and the police suspected the superintendent. Another apartment in the building was burglarized months later; again no forced entry. Don’t trust anyone with your keys. If they need to get in during an emergency they will break down the door.
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I can't believe this is even a question. Call immediately. Change your locks. Definitely let your landlord know what's going on.
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Oh, how heartbreaking. Please keep posting and let us know what happens.
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Please make a report to ACS - it is completely anonymous.
If you hear the screaming again please call 911. Let them know you think a child is being hurt. The police MUST do what is called a well visit which means they must see the child before they can leave.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make the call. I can link you to numerous stories locally of children who were killed because no one made a call to help. -
hmm call them:p. but be warn immigrants like myself we talk very loud lol. my white friends one day thought i was fighting with my parents:p. we just talk very loud, seems like fight, we make Costanza's seem like librarians talking.
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keep us posted on what you do and the outcome.
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"Depending on the child’s age, level of functioning, and developmental stage, behavior can be an indication that something is wrong. The following are some of the behavioral indicators which may suggest possible physical abuse: the child is unusually wary of physical contact with adults, seems frightened of parents or other adults, is afraid to go home, or is overly compliant with authority. . Abused children may be shy, withdrawn, Many abused children do not show emotion when they are hurt,....they may wears inappropriate long-sleeved or high collared clothing on hot days to hide injuries. It may appear to others that the child is accident prone or just moves/walks awkwardly. It is important to pay attention to these indicators and not dismiss them as insignificant, especially when several of these occur together"
BE BRAVE. DO THE RIGHT THING. GOOD LUCK. -
Another option: play dumb and go knock on the door the next time you hear screaming. Tell the super you can hear the loud music and the screams, you figure it's the kids playing some sort of game or whatever. Act as if it's a complaint, not an investigation. Maybe you can take a peek inside the apartment and figure out if it's abuse by an adult or just loud kids.
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I think the lock change might be a good idea if you're worried the super will suspect you, and I understand the hesitation while you're not sure what you heard.
I was once awoken to horrible sounds and the bf and I were sure the neighbor was beating his girlfriend horribly. While trying decide if and where we should go call the police (college, no phone) and hearing more, we realized it was just drunken, loud, very rough sex, but it scared the crap out of both of us.
Just posting it here and hearing responses might be what the OP needed to make sure he/she wasn't about to take a very serious step without some thought. -
Just my opinion:
My parents were hardly the easy going type. I fouled up I got the wire hanger as punishment, and it was not to hang my clothes on.
Some parents still resort to physical discipline.
Unless I see it happen for no reason I'd be hesitant to interfere, because it might just be the way the family/culture deals with it. -
itinnyc wrote: Just my opinion:
Moral relativism, a very slippery slope. I suppose if they were performing female genital mutilation for "religious reasons" that would be OK too.
Unless I see it happen for no reason I'd be hesitant to interfere, because it might just be the way the family/culture deals with it. -
itinnyc wrote: Just my opinion:
And they turned up the music because? Good grief, I hope nobody around you is ever abused.
My parents were hardly the easy going type. I fouled up I got the wire hanger as punishment, and it was not to hang my clothes on.
Some parents still resort to physical discipline.
Unless I see it happen for no reason I'd be hesitant to interfere, because it might just be the way the family/culture deals with it.
OP Please let us know how it goes with the Police. -
Be an advocate. Not only for what "may" be happening but also for yourself. This also affects the people who hear it. The guilt and fear of not taking action and the sounds themselves can make one quite jumpy Sexual abuse is very real and quite prevalent. Many times the spouse and partner know it is going on and do nothing because they have already been psychologically abused. By taking a chance, you will be another adult who was an anonymous advocate.
If you are afraid to make the call, ask a friend to call on their cell phone and then patch you in.
Good night and God bless. -
call child protection services/police anonymously. Say you were at your friends apt (i.e. your apt) and heard it etc. You have the right to attempt to protect your identity, given the potential for a security issue. But you really should call. If you gave the address to me by pm, I would make the call, explaining that I had heard about it on an online board. I'm sorry you're in a difficult situation, but this stuff is too serious to ignore.
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modsquad:
So I assume you would jump into a situation because you wear the banner of moral integrity and truth? How do you know the child in question didn't do something that they were strictly told not to do?
Also I added that last part:
Unless I see it happen for no reason
I would inquire about what is happening and all the information before making a call, make my own assessment.
Also I resent the analogy that I would be in favor of female genital mutilation. I would not normally dignify that with a comment but I think that was out of line. -
itinnyc wrote: modsquad:
We don't know if the child in question didn't do something that they were strictly told not to do but OP gives some pretty compelling evidence to take some action as eggcream points out in his post after mine. To dismiss any action until further investigation for fear of offending "family/culture" values is cowardly
So I assume you would jump into a situation because you wear the banner of moral integrity and truth? How do you know the child in question didn't do something that they were strictly told not to do?
Also I added that last part:
Unless I see it happen for no reason
I would inquire about what is happening and all the information before making a call, make my own assessment.
Also I resent the analogy that I would be in favor of female genital mutilation. I would not normally dignify that with a comment but I think that was out of line.because it might just be the way the family/culture deals with it.
I said it was a slippery slope. You should consider what you said above. I am unsure where you would draw a line. A case can certainly be made to justify female genital mutilation based on what you said.
I think you've missed the point of this thread. OP needed advice as to an immediate situation, not a intellectual navel gazing of what is "right or wrong", "good or evil". -
oh i get it, beating your children is ok if you belong to a different culture. Is it OK to beat your women, too, or do only children get that privilege?
I was spanked as a kid, I get it. But repeated beatings over the course of multiple days mean either the parents are abusing he kid OR the kids are entirely out of control and probably need state intervention anyway. No child without a serious behavioral problem acts that bad *that* often. Plus a normal spanking doesn't persist for an "extended period of time" unless youre doing it wrong. -
Spanking is not the same as having to turn up music to drown out "a kid screaming, in agony, for an extended time." Granted, spanking is also not something that is really seen as effective discipline anymore, but the OP is talking child abuse. If there is even the slightest doubt that abuse may be occurring, the OP owes it to the children to report it.
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Report, report, report!
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I hope it's not abuse.
Is it possible that the kid is having terrible tantrums so the parents turn up music so they can't hear him/her? Would probably send a message that tantrums don't get you anything. I hope it is something like this and not abuse.
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