Open Letter to the woman who nearly ran over one of my dogs

hunter.gatherer · February 2010

Btw I'm a dogwalker, so when I say "my dog," it merely reflects the level of devotion I have to them all.

Anyway! This all happened around 3:00 this afternoon, on 3rd street between 4th and 5th Ave.

One of my dogs was pissing in the curb (which is a law - albeit rarely enforced), next to a fire hydrant. You decided that you wanted to park in front of the same fire hydrant while you talked on your bluetooth (illegal, but rarely enforced). You either didn't notice or didn't care that there was a living being where you wanted to put your car. I had to jump out between you and her to get you to stop. I told you there was a dog there and you nearly ran her over. And then you got angry with me!

You didn't want to talk about the fact that you nearly ran over my dog. You mocked me. You thought the relevant issue was that you thought I had bad teeth (gee, I'm sorry you still have to see working class people in Park Slope). You called me crazy. You refused to roll down your window more than a crack (as if I would hurt you! - I'm 5'9", 130 pounds, and am not about to commit assault) but you wanted the person you were talking to to hear how "crazy" I am.

Here's the thing: I love this dog, and you almost ran her over. I know it's highly unlikely you'd be more than inconvenienced if you killed a human with your car, but you should still be careful. And it's still not crazy to defend someone you love.

It's also not crazy to expect others to follow the law, especially laws meant to save lives. Sure, if there were a fire it would've taken you only a few seconds to move for the fire trucks. But those few seconds can mean life or death. I had even less time than that to protect my dog, but I would rather you hit me than hit her - and that's not something I need to think about for half a second.

Here's the other thing. You are clearly a person with more privileges than most of us. You drive a (modern) car in New York. You speak with an upper-middle class or upper class accent. You have a bluetooth. You have all these things (and more I'm sure) despite not having to work on a weekday afternoon. Why do you feel like you have a right to take even more privileges, even if it means putting other lives in danger?

Oh, and if you think I was confronting you because you are a woman and I have no physical danger to fear from you (not true - most women could kick my ass) here's another story.

About six months ago a car made an illegal U turn at a red light, going through a crosswalk where I was crossing with two dogs and nearly hitting one of them. I ran after the car and it parked on the other side of the road. Three very large Rastas got out of the car and I told them what they did. I was just as upset with them as I was with you. You wanna know the difference? They listened. They didn't mock me. And they apologized.

This should be a no brainer but needs to be said: If you are operating a potentially dangerous machine, you need to be mindful and not even come close to hurting others. We live in a crowded city and there are far too many reckless drivers.

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Oh, and my teeth aren't all that bad. It's just that my dental hygienist was out sick when I was supposed to have my appointment last week.

(edited to make that last sentence make sense)

booklaw · February 2010

Well said! And kudos to you for standing up for your charges!

the chipster · February 2010

really well written post. it really takes a big person to have handled it as you did and not lose your temper. i saw the topic "dog" and was prepared for another "my dog is human" thread,. but your true compassion for your charges really touched me.
the same things upset me too, as far as the ole/nuvo divide here in park slope, but my temper usually turns me into a muttering, weird o.g here in my own hood. . kudos on being a good citizen!!

opossumqueen · February 2010

That kind of stuff has made my dog who preferred to use the bathroom in the street between cars, move to the curb or sidewalk more often.

Now I just stand with him if he's going to the bathroom in a spot big enough that a car might pull into or if I see someone possibly moving a parked car. Luckily I haven't had anyone get pissy about this so far.

eastbloc · February 2010

Sorry to hear about your close call. However, for the record, as per the NYS DMV driver's manual:

"Parking, standing or stopping is not allowed...within 15 feet (5 m) of a fire hydrant, unless a licensed driver remains in the vehicle to move it in an emergency."

I'd much rather people took advantage of the automatic standing zone afforded to them by fire hydrants than the more common and far more antisocial alternative of double-parking.

dda · February 2010

...and THAT is why my dog's curb training was abandoned. it's a shame that people have such a general lack of concern for their fellow denizens (dog or human). glad to hear you, the dogs, and your teeth are ok.

winstonsmith · February 2010

hunter.gatherer, I am with you on this.

domino · February 2010

Hunter - glad to hear you and the pup are OK. Gotta say that this made my blood pressure go up and you handled it waaaaaaaay better than I possibly could. I am so tired of "the universe revolves around me" attitude that I am tempted to just bitch slap the next transgressor.

The lack of concern exhibited by this idiot is just beyond my comprehension. In my younger wilder days I probably would have scooped up any available poop and smeared her windshield (one shitty attitude deserves another). Hope a Great Dane pisses on her door handle. There's gotta be some karma . . .

witch-king · February 2010

You speak with an upper-middle class or upper class accent.

How does one determine this?

hunter.gatherer · February 2010

Thanks for the support, all. I don't want to make it out like I was a bodhisattva during all of this. I did get upset, like I said, and had to raise my voice if she was going to hear me through the window. But I was determined to keep to the topic at hand. Also, lesson learned: she will only be curbed between parked cars which are definitely unoccupied from now on.

witch-king wrote: You speak with an upper-middle class or upper class accent.

How does one determine this?

Easily. When it's not your own anyway (I speak with a muted Jewish/Italian New York accent). And when you speak to all manner of people from different regions and classes.

(edited to expand on the original "Easily.")

jamzer · February 2010

That car driver deserves a ticket. I hope no one tries to make fun of you or your situation. That happens a lot here.

d_luxx · February 2010

Sorry this happened to you - I hope you are feeling better about it today.
Heres a way to look at it: If you confronted her about her actions, and the only defense she could respond with was an insult about your teeth ( totally irrelevant, and probably not even true ), then even she must have known that she was wrong and had no excuse. Its sort of like grasping at straws, only its grasping at comebacks.

A wise person once told me that when somebody is that much of an a$$hole, you don't really have to waste your energy pointing it out or even thinking about it, because they do a really good job proving it to everyone on their own. I'm sure a lot of people hate her.

I'm glad that you and the dog are both ok, which is the important thing.

brooklynpotter · February 2010

what was that thing winston churchill said to the woman who told him he was drink?

she says he's drunk and he tells her she's ugly. and the difference was that in the morning he'd be sober, and she'd still be ugly.

ergo, if there's something wrong with your teeth (unlikely) you could get it fixed. she remains with her evil personality

armchair_warrior · February 2010

not to defend the guy, he seems like a jerk.

but as a driver, its almost impossible to see dogs when they are close to a vehicle. only things i see sometimes when a person is walking a dog next to the road is the leash. always worry about hitting a dog that way. cause alot of dogs pull their slaves around.

shishkab · February 2010

OpossumQueen wrote: Now I just stand with him if he's going to the bathroom in a spot big enough that a car might pull into ...

me, too. and if a driver wishes to move into the spot, i simply make them wait a few extra moments. no one's gotten upset with me yet, thank goodness.

rickie lee · February 2010

Glad you and the dog are ok. That driver sounds like another case of Park Slope narcissistic personality disorder Once I was walking my dog and a stroller mom almost ran over him. I told her to watch where she was going and she yelled at me to "get a life, it's just a dog!" What a witch. Imagine thinking it is okay to roll over an animal as if it doesn't have any feelings. I feel bad for her baby.

hunter.gatherer · February 2010

Thanks also for all the practical input, guys and gals.

I was standing next to her, but in such a way that the other two dogs I had with me would remain on the sidewalk. And this is what made it possible for me to intercede between her and the car. But there was still a lesson learned, as I noted above.

d_luxx wrote: Heres a way to look at it: If you confronted her about her actions, and the only defense she could respond with was an insult about your teeth ( totally irrelevant, and probably not even true ), then even she must have known that she was wrong and had no excuse. Its sort of like grasping at straws, only its grasping at comebacks.

And that's why I labeled it an "open letter." In the true sense of one, I don't expect the person to whom it's addressed to stumble across it. (But if she does I hope she tells her side of the story!) Instead, I hope the incident can be instructive to other drivers who might not be altogether aware of the consequences of their actions.

illig · February 2010

yep, my dog prefers to go on the street... and if it's a space big enough for a car to pull into, i will stand further out blocking it so that no idiot decides to pull in without looking

i gotta tell you though... playing chicken in this way with a bus is not fun

Open Letter to the woman who nearly ran over one of my dogs

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