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please don't kill yourself during my commute — Brooklynian

please don't kill yourself during my commute

stopdoingthis
stopdoingthis
edited November -1 in Park Slope

Subject: please don't kill yourself during my commute

If you're considering offing yourself during my commute, please reconsider, and go upstairs and jump in front of a truck instead of jumping in front of the train.

Thank you!
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Comments

  • pmontclair
    pmontclair
    Was this the F train/Jay street incident today?
  • stopdoingthis
    stopdoingthis
    Yes, so, if you're considering offing yourself tomorrow afternoon, PLEASE do it elsewhere.

    Meh.

    'K, thanks.
  • stopdoingthis
    stopdoingthis
    Think about it: Cops can re-route traffic on the city streets with a mere blow of their whistle and an arm movement or two.

    They can't move the trains in a similar fashion.

    As such, it behooves said suicide considerer to off themselves in the most considerate fashion, and go upstairs.

    We'll think more highly of them, and therefore be more inclined to look at their mangled remains dripping into the sewer with admiration, as opposed to looking at them with hatred if they're blocking the path of our train.
  • canyontothesky
    canyontothesky
    this seems to be happening so frequently lately. I only moved to PS a year ago, though, so, is it always like this?
  • the0ther
    the0ther
    maybe you should move to japan where they send the bill to your family if your loved-ones jump in front of a train?
  • hamilton
    hamilton
    the0ther wrote: maybe you should move to japan where they send the bill to your family if your loved-ones jump in front of a train?

    That's only applies for the ones they can't use as sushi.
  • ljnd
    ljnd
    canyon, I think there are two things going on. There may well be more suicides happening (economy, etc.), but we also get more information than we used to. The MTA doesn't talk about suicides, and they try to protect their motormen (who are traumatized by these experiences) - but passengers now have ways of communicating what happened. Such as this board.

    So I think it's a combination of the two things.
  • drano
    drano
    Really, is this the best way people can think of to kill themselves? A sharp knife or a length of rope isn't good enough these days? It's gotta be a public display, I guess...

    Case in point, this guy may or may not have lived, but if not he didn't die fast. He was screaming away as I exited the train. By the way, people on the platform did indeed say he threw himself in front of the iron snake.

    Practically speaking, how do they get someone out from under there if they aren't dead? It seems that if they move the train, they risk messing the, uh, "victim" up more but with the train there there's not a lot of room to effect a rescue operation. Any insight?
  • robnyc
    robnyc
    So this is why my commute took an hour last night? Suicide IS selfish. Fuck, jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, instead, at least you won't interfere with boat traffic.
  • drunken revival
    drunken revival
    Cool thread... hope this one gets press from the Daily News or Gawker or somewhere.

    This thread will really pick up some steam when it starts bashing black people or those fucking reproducing couples.

    Come on Park Slope... it's your time to SHINE!!!!
  • whynot_31
    whynot_31
    Drunken Revival wrote: Cool thread... hope this one gets press from the Daily News or Gawker or somewhere.

    This thread will really pick up some steam when it starts bashing black people or those fucking reproducing couples.

    Come on Park Slope... it's your time to SHINE!!!!
    I think we will get Dr Kevorkian type advice soon. ...we are already starting on a "what's most effective and painless" angle.

    ...but I'll wait and see.
  • MOD
    MOD
    Least effective and painful: Slap Chopping yourself to death
  • hamilton
    hamilton
    suicide is very sad and devastating, but i don't feel being turned down by a Park Slop Co-Op Board justifies the act.
  • drunken revival
    drunken revival
    I just can't believe that Julius Orange took his own life simply because I ripped him a new asshole on this very message board..... sad, sad, sad
  • whynot_31
    whynot_31
    Over an hour has passed, and I must state that I didn't expect have the Slop Chop referenced on this thread.

    ...depending on the method used, the Sham Wow could come in handy.
  • drunken revival
    drunken revival
    “To make yourself something less than you can be - that too is a form of suicide” -
  • d_luxx
    d_luxx
    Drunken Revival wrote: Cool thread... hope this one gets press from the Daily News or Gawker or somewhere.

    This thread will really pick up some steam when it starts bashing black people or those fucking reproducing couples.

    Come on Park Slope... it's your time to SHINE!!!!
    Here you go:
    http://www.fuckedinparkslope.com/home/subway-etiquette-for-suicidal-commuters.html
  • magicube
    magicube
    Do we really have to give that pathetic excuse for a blog more attention?
    d_luxx wrote: [quote=Drunken Revival]Cool thread... hope this one gets press from the Daily News or Gawker or somewhere.

    This thread will really pick up some steam when it starts bashing black people or those fucking reproducing couples.

    Come on Park Slope... it's your time to SHINE!!!!
    Here you go:
    http://www.fips.com/home/subway-etiquette-for-suicidal-commuters.html
  • witch-king
    witch-king
    A jumper ruined my commute once at the 7th Avenue Q station. I switched to the 2/3 after this incident and I haven't had a similar interruption of service at Grand Army Plaza.
  • witch-king
    witch-king
    Hamilton wrote: suicide is very sad and devastating, but i don't feel being turned down by a Park Slop Co-Op Board justifies the act.
    I was stuck behind two double-wide strollers while walking up 1st Street today and I'll admit I had thoughts of ending it all.
  • hamilton
    hamilton
    the week after Mooney's closed. i saw one of it's patrons throw himself in front of a double stroller. the mom didn't even notice him, neither did the next two, who rolled right over him, what a mess.
  • brokechick
    brokechick
    witch-king wrote: [quote=Hamilton]suicide is very sad and devastating, but i don't feel being turned down by a Park Slop Co-Op Board justifies the act.
    I was stuck behind two double-wide strollers while walking up 1st Street today and I'll admit I had thoughts of ending it all.

    seriously, if i ever throw myself into oncoming traffic, this will be why. it's the cycle of life, i guess. we have to off ourselves to make room for the next generation.
  • jamzer
    jamzer
    witch-king wrote: [quote=Hamilton]suicide is very sad and devastating, but i don't feel being turned down by a Park Slop Co-Op Board justifies the act.
    I was stuck behind two double-wide strollers while walking up 1st Street today and I'll admit I had thoughts of ending it all.

    I wish you had. :twisted:
  • blahblahblahpaper
    blahblahblahpaper
    you people are all bat shit insane.
  • hamilton
    hamilton
    .

    It's a requirement.
  • armchair_warrior
    armchair_warrior
    what a waste of human life, he should of went to the woods and feed himself to some animals.
  • hasawaknow
    hasawaknow
    To each his own but i believe in the basic rules of suicide. Off yourself in whatever manner appeals to you but ensure no one else needs to do the clean up. Blood stains something silly. Common courtesy people.
  • pmonk
    pmonk
    Is it possible to kill oneself on a message board?
  • witch-king
    witch-king
    Jamzer wrote: [quote=witch-king][quote=Hamilton]suicide is very sad and devastating, but i don't feel being turned down by a Park Slop Co-Op Board justifies the act.
    I was stuck behind two double-wide strollers while walking up 1st Street today and I'll admit I had thoughts of ending it all.

    I wish you had. :twisted:

    You like me! You really like me! :D/
  • armchair_warrior
    armchair_warrior
    pmonk wrote: Is it possible to kill oneself on a message board?
    no but the best next thing is, put live feed for the message board and kill yourself then, great for publicity of the chosen website.
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