Where do the young (black) professionals hang?

Ishtar wrote: [quote=MHA]And, on top of this, Black women are acculturated to want something that they can show off to their friends: 'He's a doctor, a lawyer, or an Indian Chief -- and he drives a Lexus.'

Just black women?

See, I don't necessarily agree with you on this woman's intent. As I said before, we're getting the "looking for a professional" 2nd hand, so it is possible that she may be using that as a code for something else.

Perhaps she means "I'm looking for a guy who can hang in the hood, or with my corporate friends in the same way I can." This isn't necessarily a "professional", as it could describe a plumber, electrician, artist, musician, or anything that is not straight ghetto hood rat.

However, IF she does indeed mean a man that is employed in a narrow range of jobs making a specific amount of money then she has a problem that nothing short of therapy (and lots of it) is going to solve. I do think you hit the nail on the head when you say men and women think about this differently. Men will overlook many things to copulate. Women are always looking to stack the deck by finding those qualities they think make a good man, before determining if a man is worth it.

Nope Ishtar, not only Black women, but given the history of Black people in this country, it's bizaare for so many sisters to have what I like to call 'ahistorical dreams'. And to further bifurcate and create animosity, this is an 'American ting'. That these women's ideas of what is ideal is so shaped by consumerist notions of ideal. It's due to living in the American box that they think this way. It's sad. These sisters are on the other side of the SAME COIN as the neer-do-wells who also don't see their lot in life a s a function of white supremacy. They honestly say, 'Why aren't there any eligible Black men around?' You don't know??! How is it that you don't know?


The fact that a Black woman would do this says something about how she sees the world. Anytime I hear a sister say, "I want to be with a man that is financially secure", I respond with a 'well honey, any man with a professional degree (independent of color) is not financially secure'. He is riddled with debt as a result of student loans (as someone said earlier) and the last thing he can do is afford to drive a Lexus or anything similarly priced. YBP's desire for a professional man is a pipe dream because of this precarious situation. She is better off going out with the blue collar brother cleaning carpets, wiring electrical outlets, or unclogging pipes. The type of dude hanging out at 95 South just kickin' it with the fellas.

Financial security is an illusion for everyone. Heck, I want a woman who is financially secure too! Don't we all want to be with someone who, in the event of our economic demise, can take care of us? Sisters say, 'I want a man to take care of me' -- Don't we all want to be taken care of? Why is it that women have a monoply on wanting 'to be taken cared of'? That statement makes no sense to me, and given how many women say it (almost verbatim!) it makes me think that it resides subliminally within 'Sex and the City' episodes, T.V. commercials for hair relaxing products, makeup products -- and in Beyonce' songs and videos:

"All MHA single ladies, put your hands up!!"

In my experience, women that want to be taken care of almost always came from families where that level of care was lacking. Rich or poor, one parent or two, if they grew up without a feeling that they were being cared for and that there was someone to protect them, they always seek it out in their adult relationships.

MHA wrote: Nope Ishtar, not only Black women, but given the history of Black people in this country, it's bizaare for so many sisters to have what I like to call 'ahistorical dreams'. And to further bifurcate and create animosity, this is an 'American ting'. That these women's ideas of what is ideal is so shaped by consumerist notions of ideal. It's due to living in the American box that they think this way. It's sad. These sisters are on the other side of the SAME COIN as the neer-do-wells who also don't see their lot in life a s a function of white supremacy. They honestly say, 'Why aren't there any eligible Black men around?' You don't know??! How is it that you don't know?


The fact that a Black woman would do this says something about how she sees the world. Anytime I hear a sister say, "I want to be with a man that is financially secure", I respond with a 'well honey, any man with a professional degree (independent of color) is not financially secure'. He is riddled with debt as a result of student loans (as someone said earlier) and the last thing he can do is afford to drive a Lexus or anything similarly priced. YBP's desire for a professional man is a pipe dream because of this precarious situation. She is better off going out with the blue collar brother cleaning carpets, wiring electrical outlets, or unclogging pipes. The type of dude hanging out at 95 South just kickin' it with the fellas.

Financial security is an illusion for everyone. Heck, I want a woman who is financially secure too! Don't we all want to be with someone who, in the event of our economic demise, can take care of us? Sisters say, 'I want a man to take care of me' -- Don't we all want to be taken care of? Why is it that women have a monoply on wanting 'to be taken cared of'? That statement makes no sense to me, and given how many women say it (almost verbatim!) it makes me think that it resides subliminally within 'Sex and the City' episodes, T.V. commercials for hair relaxing products, makeup products -- and in Beyonce' songs and videos:

"All MHA single ladies, put your hands up!!"

Uhm..this post is extra as hell. "Create animosity". For real? Or is that black women and their "plight" are the "story of the day" and put before the world for criticism and ridicule?

MHA, I think you're focusing too much on "professional" with the idea that professional=rich. From the perspective of the OP, it could equally mean professional=educated, which seems perfectly reasonable. In general, I think that people in all racial groups tend to get on better with and have more in common with people of similar educational background.

Whatever you say, Good Will Hunting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/04/us/04interracial.html

Carnivore, Let me retract: I have no idea if you have 'an understanding of the tightrope most Black men walk.' Nor is is appropriate for me to say anything gabout your sense of history. I said that in a heat of passion, as this is an issue near, and dear to my heart.

Regarding the straw men comment, I wrote it in response to your 'Good Will Hunting' statement, as I thought your were implying that a dude without an accredited education isn't 'educated' at all, and I disagree with that statement. I believe that there are misguided perceptions about 'education' and 'work'. Also, it strikes me that YBPs are often looking to meet 'professional' people and not 'good' people. In th emovie Good Will Hunting, it wasn't his intelligence that got the girl. It was his heart.