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In-laws from hell — Brooklynian

In-laws from hell

parksloperite
parksloperite
edited November -1 in Park Slope

its that time, the holidays. And I'm stuck with the in-laws from hell. This is what my entire weekend is going to consist of:

a. listening to the same narcissistic stories about how *unbelievably* cute my husband and his sister was when they were young (and I mean the SAME STORIES I HAVE HEARD FOR TEN MAKES ME WANT TO POKE OUT MY EARDRUMS YEARS). They were really fun and charming stories the first one or two times, now I just want to have a stroke when I hear one of these stories coming.

b. getting sloppy drunk and constantly passively-aggressively asking me if I want something to drink (I haven't been much of a drinker the ENTIRE TIME I have known them).

c. repeat a. and b. Until you want to die. Occasionally interspersed with long conversations about how good the berries are this time of year.

Any advice for the next few days that doesn't end in my suicide/murdering of said in-laws?? I'm also concerned I may pass away due to the moldy/disgusting quality of most of the food that is being prepared for me to consume under their watchful gaze, but then this might end my misery, so long as the death isn't too painful.

Comments

  • snarkslope
    snarkslope

    Someone's taking a creative writing workshop!

    Personally, I'd love in-laws who drink too much...

  • bohuma
    bohuma

    Tell them you're preggers and ask your mother-in-law to come to Planned Parenthood on Tuesday.

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    State that you are about to take sometype of certification exam soon, then go to your favorite coffee shop to "study".

    ...in actuality, bring your iPod and you favorite magazines to said coffee shop.

  • nearnostrand
    nearnostrand

    That's all you've got?! My mother-in-law lives with me, and although she doesn't drink - she has certainly driven me to. So man up woman!

    Take pleasure in knowing that they are only visiting for a short stay. Keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel, don't forget to breathe, and you will be fine.

    (One long weekend, ha!)

  • homeowner
    homeowner

    Okay, I don't have this problem as both my in-laws and my parents kicked the bucket before we were married, but here are my suggestions.

    1) Call a couple of friends to come over and "celebrate" the holiday. You can at least hide out in another room with a pal while your friends get to listen to the cute stories.

    2) Cart around a glass with liquid of uncertain origin, then when they ask you to drink, hold it up and say "I'm good"

    3) Plan to do tons of stuff outside of the house. Movies, dinner, bowling, museums, tours, shows, games, or anything else that will distract you from conversation, tire them out, keep them from feeding you, limit how much liquor they can pour down your throat and how much individual time you have with them. No matter what they are interested in, there's got to be somewhere in the city where you can get them involved in something.

    4)Remember, no matter how bad it is it could be worse. Imagine if you were Nearnostrand, or if they lived across the street or down the block from you.

    Oh, and when its over make your husband spring for a spa day or some other relaxation event for you being such a good sport.

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    Nearnostrand-

    I suspect you have just caused the readers of this thread to mail vitamins to their in laws, so they can continue to live independently.

  • landlord
    landlord

    Grow up!

  • parksloperite
    parksloperite

    nearnostrand, I don't really drink, but I'm tipping my glass in your honor. I had forgotten the plight of those actually living with the inlaws. I aware all over again of my good fortune!!!

  • d_luxx
    d_luxx

    It doesn't sound that bad to me. Some people don't even have a family at all.

  • drano
    drano

    Take a chill pill - get your hands on some Vitamin V.

  • dance rehearsal
    dance rehearsal

    I feel bad for your in-laws.

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