Assclown livery cab drivers who lay on their horns

bootstrap · May 2012

Is anyone else sick of these jacklegs excessively honking their horns on our otherwise peaceful residential streets? Ok, so I admit this is a 'first world problem', but I'm tired of this busch league driving.

There's the "21-honk salute" - tapping the horn several times, often for the entire length of a block. I've also witnessed "the deadarm" - laying on the horn to show impatience with a minor traffic jam ahead (often caused by a Subaru executing a poor parallel parking job). Then there's the one that boils my blood like no other - the "Ima let you know that the light is turning green by honking at you from behind as it changes". It is because of the last one that I am thankful to have a sunroof in my vehicle, freely allowing me to float and hold the middle finger back at the buffoon behind me to let him know I received his astute message.

Tonight, on my stroll from the 7th Ave. F train station to my PS abode, I witnessed a 21-honk salute about a half a block up coming toward me. The driver was honking and honking at another car that was double parked for a spot a good 50 feet ahead of him (and no obstruction to his passage at all). I just so happened to be striding into the crosswalk as he passed by, so of course I yelled "Stop honking!" at him. The driver then stopped immediately, threw his car into reverse (I was standing directly behind him), didn't actually move in reverse, but leaned out and started shouting obscenities at me. I then did what any peaceful, loving resident of PS would do...I kicked his rear bumper pretty damn hard. This set off the jackleg.

Sidebar: I don't condone my own action of kicking the car's bumper here. It was a visceral reaction to a perceived threat i.e. getting run over if he'd let off the brake and getting just about every hateful word thrown at me. Do I regret it? No. But I certainly don't recommend it. I'm a big dude, at 6'4" and 215, but still...you never know what these a-holes have with them in their cars.

He then proceeded to follow me about a half block down 8th Ave., continuing to hurl obscenities at me. I stopped twice and calmly asked him to get out of his car to politely discuss the issue with me...

but he apparently preferred to stay in the comfort and safety of his shitty, rundown Towncar. Eventually, he sped off.

I share this little story out of frustration. I can dodge the double-wide strollers, super weird stoop sales of useless garbage, and cyclists who feel like they own the road, but I can't stand drivers who unnecessarily lay on their horns.

My idea: the loudness of a vehicle's horn should be directly related to the speed at which the vehicle is traveling.

Apologies to livery cab drivers if I am unfairly targeting you with my rage. It's just that most of the offenses that I've witnessed have been from shitty, beat-up Lincoln Towncars speeding down residential streets.

ringrunner · May 2012

I live near Union and 8th and sometimes the honking gets crazy. Sometimes it is hard not to get angry. Some drivers have no idea how many people they are annoying and how little affect that honk is.

bohuma · May 2012

Yeah, I don't get it either. The traffic is backed up in all lanes for ten blocks, by say a motor vehicle collision, yet several dickwads decide to add to the mayhem by honking. What is that going to achieve? Are the EMS and FDNY going to get the injured out quicker? Will the tow truck driver work faster? Will the NYPD move everyone along quicker. No, all that will happen is noise. Maybe we should put cab drivers and livery drivers on estrogen, or testosterone inhibitors.

pragmaticguy · May 2012

I don't know how it is in Park Slope but along many streets here in Crown Heights these livery guys honk to let people know that they're available for street pick ups. Usually $2 to a train station or back home. If they fill up the car it's $10 or so to them. You'll find lots of them on Eastern Pkwy near the Utica Ave. station. They also do it along Church Ave. in East Flatbush. But it's usually no more than a tap, not a prolonged thing.

whynot_31 · May 2012

bohuma wrote: Maybe we should put cab drivers and livery drivers on estrogen

I fear this could make the situation worse.

jamzer · May 2012

You should have noted the livery company and called dispatch. Livery cab drivers can be a problem, but dispatch does not like to hear that one of their drivers is acting like an ass. They will punish the driver by not sending fares their way. It helps keep them in line somewhat.

be nice · May 2012

A few years ago I was walking along Clinton St and was at the corner of Union. Cars were stopped at the light on clinton. The light turns green and the second car in line immediately honks. An older man (80+) was walking and starts yelling, "Why are you honking!? What's the matter with you!" He continues screaming and stands right in front of the car with both his hands on the hood. "What the hell is wrong with you!?? This is a quiet neighborhood!!" He bangs the hood. The drier backs up a few feet but there's a car directly behind. The man walks back with the car, with his hands on the hood still yelling. He points at the driver and says "Don't f!@king honk!!" and then walks away.

Neighborhood needs more people like the old man...

sidewalker · May 2012

I hate livery drivers...

until I need one.

magicube · May 2012

It's even worse now that livery can pick up on the street. Some of them honk whenever they see someone on the sidewalk, especially after dark.

Carry a dozen eggs.

tateinbk · May 2012

Carry a dozen eggs.

Often I'm out walking the pooch and have a bag of poo with me. I've always restrained myself but ooohhhh, it is tempting to throw said bag at the driver. The urge used to be strongest when people drove through stop signs, but now that I have a baby who wakes up when cab asses lay on the horn....

Oh, and I'm an otherwise friendly 5'5" female and I have kicked all sorts of hoods. I've also smacked both hands down on hoods. Hard. Most of my taxi abuse has gone to yellow cabs though.

Jamzer has the best point though. I will keep that one in mind. Although wouldn't you also have to get their plate number?

witch-king · May 2012

Long Island might be an alternative.

drano · May 2012

Don't forget other fun tricks:

1) Don't use the turn signal. That's far too difficult, and there's no possible benefit to doing so anyway. Then act like the wronged party when somebody assumes you weren't going to turn.

2) Go fast! Really fast! Let fool pedestrians and pesky cyclists worry about you, not the other way around.

3) Run red lights whenever you think you can get away with it. No downside there.

4) Speaking of red lights, if you do hit one and you have a car in front of you, creep up on his side if there's room. The hit the gas like a drag racer when you see green (or maybe even a little before). Yay, now you're in front!

ian2010 · June 2012

Hey, we can't help if some people are just rude idiots. It's not like they are suddenly gonna become smart polite people because we are complaining about them on a message board with a couple dozen posts a week.

I'm more concerned, though, about the guy who's checking his cell phone or his kid and just sits there when the light changes, and is clearly not going to go anywhere unless somebody honks, and then starts driving with one hand wondering why there's so much noise.

Park Slope should be free of noise, of poverty, and full of magnet schools, expensive chocolates and faux Korean restaurants, anyway.

whynot_31 · June 2012

If PS achieves the above, it will still not be my version of utopia. The struggle continues.

Assclown livery cab drivers who lay on their horns

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