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BLOOMBERG PURCHASES THE VATICAN — Brooklynian

BLOOMBERG PURCHASES THE VATICAN

hamilton
hamilton
edited November -1 in Park Slope

The Pope has just handed in his resignation.

It's been rumored Boomberg and a group headed by Ratner, have purchased the Vatican and will revamp it and create a religious amusement park, that will feature an hourly resurrection event-.presided over by the new self appointed Pope Mikey, The First.


Comments

  • walkathon
    walkathon

    If he takes the Nets, the Islanders and Barclays Center with him I applaud this move.

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    Walkathon said:

    If he takes the Nets, the Islanders and Barclays Center with him I applaud this move.

    I don't know if he'll being doing what you're hoping for, but it's rumored he'll be taking a few of his staff and city council personnel with him.

    Janet Sadie -Kahn , who'll build a bike path to heaven

    Markowitz ,who'll turn water in to whine.

    He also intends to remake some classic films of the mid 40's

    Going My Way- there is no other way.-Starring himself

    The Bells of Saint Mary , in which Dennis Walcott closes a defunct Catholic school and converts it into a defunct Charter School.

    The Song Of Bernadette , a peasant girl is thought to be a heretic, because of her claims, that she's been subjected to endless visions of Christine Quinn

    The 8 Commandments, marked down from 10.

    Moses will be played by Bill DeBlasio , who parts the Gowanus Canal and finds the bodies of numerous mobsters that had been reported missing for years .

    Francis The Talking Mule , with a voice over by Marty Markowitz

    These are just a few of what i think will be many changes we Catholic will be subjected to.

  • goodprospect
    goodprospect

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah :salut:

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    Yesterday on my annual pilgrimage to Saint Patrick's, I ran into Cardinal Dolan, He spoke about some of the rumored changes Pope Bloomberg intends on implementing.

    .

    Priest may get married, but not to each other.

    .

    Communion- .He going to have his image imprinted on all Communion wafers.

    .

    Challis-Discontinue the 16 os Challis and replace it with 6 oz ones, this will deter parishioners who come back for seconds and put an end to cirrhosis amongst the regular attendees..

    .

    Confessions- Priest, will be required to compare their sins with those who are confessing .

    Oh, you did that too!

    To speed up the process, Penance will not be more then, saying, 3 Christine Quinn's or 5 Charles Barons.

    .

    The process of recycling foreskins will be discontinued , a product that the Church has been selling to Chinese restauranteurs for decades, who marketed it as the" new chicken".

    His decision was based on countless complaints from Jewish women who complained about having headaches after sex.

    .

    To absolve the Church from any criticism on it's supposed history in the slave trade.

    He's reclassifying the term slave, to, Undocumented Workers.

    .

    Defining sleeping in large cardboard boxes as Affordable Housing.

    The Cardinal said he's very concerned about the future of the Church and is considering retiring and doing stand up.

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    Several priests I know have told me that, as the church gets older, they no longer find it sexually attractive.

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    They liked it better when it was much, much younger.

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    I guess ,with aging , they just can't rise to the occasion.

  • booklaw
    booklaw

    Somewhat off-topic, but these references to the Vatican and sexuality offer the perfect opportunity for me to plug a documentary film I worked on recently:

    Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God.

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    booklaw said:

    Somewhat off-topic, but these references to the Vatican and sexuality offer the perfect opportunity for me to plug a documentary film I worked on recently:

    Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God.

    How did that affect you?

    it's amazing how long that's been going on..

    My sons went to a parochial school where one of the Brothers was someone you would never let your child be alone with..

    But to my amazement there were parents who would have him come to dinner on a regular basis.

    To the best of my knowledge there was never a scandal that surfaced , but how desperate were these parents to kiss ass, just to have their kids get good marks.

  • ap
    ap

    booklaw said:

    Somewhat off-topic, but these references to the Vatican and sexuality offer the perfect opportunity for me to plug a documentary film I worked on recently:

    Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God.

    I just listened to Alex Gibney on Leonard Lopate (recorded a few weeks ago) and I'm looking forward to seeing the film. Do you know where it's playing around town? I don't have HBO, so I missed it airing there.

    Thanks and good luck with the film!

    AP

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    As a child my parents would send my brother and myself to the children's mass at OLPH in Sunset Park and every Sunday the same argument would occur,

    Dad, I don't want to go, it's like seeing the same movie every week, which brought the same response, your going and we were given change for the collections.

    One Sunday I asked Jesus if there was any way not to go to mass every week.

    He answered and I told my brother our days of suffering are over, thanks to Jesus.

    The following week, along with every Sunday after the divine intervention, we'd ride the subways for an hour and a half and when returning home, Dad would ask, how did it go today sons ?,

    Great Dad, we did all the Stations.

    I'm proud of both of you boys,and he'd

    give us enough to go out for the day, which we used to see the movie of our choice.

    Yes, the Lord does work in mysterious ways

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    If I recall, the station where he finally dies is named Broadway Junction.

    That station is scary.

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    whynot 31

    thanks I didn't know that,

    I'm glad my Father didn't ask about that Station.

    But, I know for a fact after the resurrection he didn't go back to Broadway Junction and with good cause, Although he did wind up on Broadway in the 70's and again, with the same ending.

    Rather then pay to see it, I decided to redo the stations again and avoid Broadway Junction to avoid any lingering guilt that I may have, due to my childhood deceit.

  • whynot_31
    whynot_31

    If you are able to avoid undefined guilt, you may not actually be Catholic.

  • booklaw
    booklaw

    Nor Jewish...

  • hamilton
    hamilton

    Guilt is in the mind of the beholder, but there are some that are born with it..

    Just think, at one time we were floating in a nice warm womb without a worry or concern and all of a sudden, we're flush out, smacked on the butt, by some Doctor we don't even know and did nothing too.

    And, a few days later a Mohel comes over and takes a little off the top, from the moment of birth we're under assault for things we never did, and we wonder why we have guilt!

    I believe it was Shakespeare who said "foreskin or not foreskin, that is the question".

    It's rather sad that some of us have guilt from womb to tomb

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