SYMPATHY FROM A PANHANDLER

Living in Windsor Terrace I rarely venture into the Slope, that was until last week.

Walking along 7th Ave I noticed a few panhandlers strategically perched outside grocery stores and who were shaking their empty coffee containers ,trying to solicit money from patrons as they exited the establishments.

I saw one that didn't seem to be down on his luck and decide to give him a buck and engage him in a cordial conversation, we spoke about the weather, sports and surprisingly politics.

He asked if I'm from the Slope, I said no and asked where he lived, expecting to hear an armory, he said the Village, the Village?, isn't that a long trip just to sit out side a store in Brooklyn .

Well to be honest with you i'm not homeless, I'm an actor and a member of the Negro Ensemble and unfortunately there's nothing going on there, so I was given this job by a group called Urban Enlightenment, who pays well and hires minorities to be showcased in Gentrified Communities, like the Slope .

The concept being, that when the Junior Gentrifiers grow up and move back to dip-shit Iowa they can say " I once gave a dollar to a black man"

A few of my female actors friends are employed as nanny's, but they had to take an extensive two week course to capture the Jamaican Accent, that is so loved by the Queens of Gentrification.

When asked if he or they felt their assignments were demeaning, the response was no, in fact it's rather humorous and a good study on the plight of the wealthy.

Imagine the stress of trying to decide wether to go to Connecticut Muffin or Starbucks.

Trying to find a parking space.

Having stroller envy,when you see kids in the latest $3000.00 model and you poor deprived 6 year old is still being pushed around in a model that you've had for 2 years .

Or, wondering if your child will complete his Under Grad work at the Tiny Toddler Day Care Center .

To make sure your prepared for the occasional cocktail party or actually speak to someone from Brooklyn, you had to read every book written by Pete Hamill Or Paul Auster.

When your child gets older and you no longer need a Nanny and you kid has to be detoxed from the Jamaican dialect he's acquired from his Nanny .

Trying to coordinate play time , speaking time , when to smile and not forget to give the little cutie it's daily Ritalin dosage before the screaming starts .

We both laughed at his comments and I mention I enjoyed speaking with him, but I had to go and hoped to see him on Broadway, the theater not the street

He said, you talk some good shit, stop by again and closed with,

Man, I'm observing a world that I'm glad I don't live in and can't wait to go back to the Village and be with real people.

So the next time you see a panhandler on the Ave. give him a buck and ask for an autograph, it may be JoJo from the Village.