How to piss off a Park Slope resident

Good one, fictionfiction! Let's make that #105.

#105: Joke about how to piss off a Park Slope resident.

Without further ado,

#106: (men only) Walk into Ginger's or Cattyshack and tell the ladies hanging at the bar that they just haven't met the right guy yet, and you're here to "straighten them out" with some hot lovin' from a REAL man.

#108 Wear a t-shirt around Park Slope that says: "I may not have a real life, or know how to actually interact with other living, breathing human beings, but I sure can post some zingers on inane message boards, and that makes me feel important! Please sodomize me quickly! You might be my last chance, as there are more and more message boards to feed!"

fictionfiction wrote: #108 Wear a t-shirt around Park Slope that says: "I may not have a real life, or know how to actually interact with other living, breathing human beings, but I sure can post some zingers on inane message boards, and that makes me feel important! Please sodomize me quickly! You might be my last chance, as there are more and more message boards to feed!"

fictionfiction, I think that'd be too long to piss anyone off, unless they had a long, long time to read it, say if you were standing on line ahead of them at La Bagel Delite on Sunday morning or something. And even then they'd be busy peeking at the Arts section of the Sunday Times, which they just bought at the nearby newsstand.

I think it should be shortened to just "Please sodomize me quickly!"

Even then, I doubt it would offend. Someone might even take you up on it!

#111: Any time you see someone who's just bought organic milk, make a pained face and announce, "Don't you know that [whichever dairy] has just been exposed as pumping their cows full of hormones and branding them all over with hot irons? I'm really surprised that you openly support animal torture! Look in the mirror sometime, and tell me -- do you like what you see?"

Brooke Lynn Knight wrote: [quote=fictionfiction]#108 Wear a t-shirt around Park Slope that says: "I may not have a real life, or know how to actually interact with other living, breathing human beings, but I sure can post some zingers on inane message boards, and that makes me feel important! Please sodomize me quickly! You might be my last chance, as there are more and more message boards to feed!"

I think it should be shortened to just "Please sodomize me quickly!"


how about: I LIKE MY BUGGERY...HASTILY DOCUMENTED

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04032008

Brooke Lynn Knight wrote:
#106: (men only) Walk into Ginger's or Cattyshack and tell the ladies hanging at the bar that they just haven't met the right guy yet, and you're here to "straighten them out" with some hot lovin' from a REAL man.

if i had only known this years ago ...

omg Thank you SOOOOOO much.

dude that t shirt rocks. i want one !

" my DOG is smarter than your baby "

let you dog use the bathroom in the middle of the sidewalk but not clean up after it.

this isn't paris!

Karl the Druid wrote:

8)

"my vegan dog baby is on the PS 321 Honor Roll,
and he doesnt have someone from the civil war trailing him"

seespaces wrote: #107: Say to someone that you don't plan on reading that new novel by that rising literary star. In fact, you don't read much anymore. Mostly the Daily News. And isn't the publishing industry kind of anachronistic at this point?

*snerk*

#112: Hand out "Jesus Saves" leaflets.

#113: Ask them, "Do you have a moment for Greenpeace?"

Granted, the last doesn't fit with the usual PS stereotype, but I'd be happy never to hear those words again. But then, I live in PH.

Subject: Re: This is sure to work

NativeSloper wrote: Stand at the corner of Union and Fifth Avenue and yell at the top of your lungs "GO HOME YOU GENTRIFYING, DEEP POCKETED, RENT RAISING, HIPSTER TRUST FUND BABY BASTARDS!"

See how many McClaren strollers and chunky glasses wearing hipsters stop in their tracks to give you the evil eye.

I bet you would get a lot of stoppers and gawkers with that line.

Personally, when people ask me about my house with the amazed look I will answer (apologetically) "I bought it in 1981"... but I don't say.... "The year you were born!"

Jamzer wrote: [quote=Garfunky][quote=Karl the Druid]

8)

"my vegan dog baby is on the PS 321 Honor Roll,
and he doesnt have someone from the civil war trailing him"

I would put that guy circa 1912, or right off the Titanic!

****************************

He's probably the original sloper.

lnelson wrote: 115. Suggest that a bar is not an appropriate place to bring children.
116. Buy a purebred dog.
118. Hold a rally in support of the new Bank of America branch opening where D'Agostino's used to be. Invite Bruce Ratner.

119. I want the other side to be a Capital One!

#121 walk your dog on the ball fields in prospect park