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Open Letter to Oliver Harris, Neighbor — Brooklynian

Open Letter to Oliver Harris, Neighbor

sweet tea
sweet tea
edited November -1 in Crown Heights/Prospect Lefferts Gardens
Dear Mr. Harris,

First, let me say that I hope that your mother, her car, and the three hapless pedestrians are okay. I hope she didn't really have a stroke, didn't really mow anyone down, and wasn't really taken to Methodist. In fact, I hope she's enjoying a nice retirement in Florida, playing bingo and catching the odd Marlin. (Oh wait, you said you were from LA. Make that "Borrego Springs" and "gila monster".) I further hope that no cop actually called you a "black nigger" following the accident I hope didn't happen. If nothing else, it's grammatically questionable.

I take heart from the fact that Gothamist newsmap seems to have no record of this spectacular accident.

I do have a couple of questions:

First, and maybe this is petty, but I'm curious: are the apartments in the part of the Jewish Hospital you indicated vaguely really given 3-digit designations? You said you lived in 203. I'm curious because the part of the hospital I live in has number-letter combos, like 6H.

Mostly though, I want to know this: if "it's not about the money, I don't need your money, everybody always thinks that first, i don't need money", how come when I politely told you, in the interests of efficiency and giving you more time to continue your search, that i didn't have any money on me or in the house, you took off like your pants were on fire?

Sincerely,

Sweet Tea, Neighbor

PS It was sweet how you kept calling me "neighbor". Nice touch.

Comments

  • doctorj
    doctorj
    I'd like to know how the interview went with the TV crew he said was on its way.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    Oh, how foolish of me to forget! I'm sure it went fine, though, since he's their sound technician.
  • marla_singer
    marla_singer

    Subject: Re: Open Letter to Oliver Harris, Neighbor

    sweet tea wrote: First, and maybe this is petty, but I'm curious: are the apartments in the part of the Jewish Hospital you indicated vaguely really given 3-digit designations? You said you lived in 203. I'm curious because the part of the hospital I live in has number-letter combos, like 6H.
    For what it's worth, in my [Jewish Hospital] building, the apartments are numbered like he said.
  • apollonia666
    apollonia666
    Wait, what?! Context? I'm really confused.
  • mattbot
    mattbot
    When will this woman get her license revoked? She hit two pedestrians near Pratt several months back after suffering a stroke behind the wheel.
  • apollonia666
    apollonia666
    Ohhhh. Sorry, I'm a bit slow sometimes.
  • kanuck
    kanuck
    this dude tried to scam me too.

    "i only need $12, so i can get my car, save my job...blah blah"

    "I can get it back to you in 45 minutes"

    then why don't you just get your car back in 45 minutes when you have the money?

    this guy should be jailed for scamming everyone in the nieghborhood
  • stacey
    stacey
    Hey we had someone like that here in PH - maybe he decided he needed some fresh blood because everyone here was catching on to him. There was a photo of him on the board somewhere but I don't know how to find that
    http://brooklynian.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=18&highlight=panhandler
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    i think this is the picture thread: http://brooklynian.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=566&highlight=gaffler

    i'm not positive Oliver Harris is the guy pictured -- hard to judge what with the heavy clothes, etc. -- but it could well be. anyhow, great to know not every local businessman is giving up the ghost....
  • jjb
    jjb
    Some guy calling himself Oliver rang my doorbell at midnight a few weeks ago, with a story about how he was trying to "go straight." I didn't engage him long enough to get the details, but it was clear the tale would end with a request for money. I don't think he was the guy pictured in the gaffler thread—it's hard to tell, but I'd say "Oliver" was younger and skinnier than that guy, and he did not wear glasses—but perhaps he's the same person whom Sweet Tea encountered.
  • kanuck
    kanuck
    that picture doesn't look like him to me
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    yeah, i don't think, upon reflection, that it is the guy in the picture, unless he's lost weight and gotten contacts. even then, i'm not so sure....

    so, good news: growth industry in our area! business is booming!
  • anonymous
    anonymous
    The same guy did it to me and my friend. We gave him money just to congratulate him for such a roundabout story.
  • armchair_warrior
    armchair_warrior
    don't give them any money. that would make them harass more people!! if nobody give them money, they would just do another con instead.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    Dear Mr. Harris,

    What an unexpected pleasure to see you again yesterday afternoon!

    I'm glad I had a chance to ask after your mother when I first saw you, as you hurried away so soon. I hope I didn't disrupt your conversation too much -- the young man you were talking to seemed very nice when he told me later that your mother had had yet another car accident.

    I hope you won't take offense if I suggest that it might be time she stops driving.
  • nearnostrand
    nearnostrand
    We had a guy come into our business and tell us that his wife had just had a baby in the Bronx and that he need $5.00 dollars to go there and pick up two of his three other children and bring them back. He was like 10 blocks from where he claimed he lived and we couldn't understand why he need exactly $5.00. He said he was in the process of looking for a job, trying to get on his feet, just got this apartment, blah blah blah, and he needed $5.00 to go to the Bronx - where his wife just had a baby - so he could pick up 2 out of three children that they already had - from the hospital. He even added that he would leave his i.d. with us - it was a nice touch - but we just couldn't understand why $5.00?

    Maybe we were wrong for not believing him, besides the fact that we are pretty broke oursleves...Does someone know something about travelling to and from the Bronx that adds $.50 to your trip on either end?
  • caseopele
    caseopele
    sweet tea wrote: Dear Mr. Harris,

    What an unexpected pleasure to see you again yesterday afternoon!

    I'm glad I had a chance to ask after your mother when I first saw you, as you hurried away so soon. I hope I didn't disrupt your conversation too much -- the young man you were talking to seemed very nice when he told me later that your mother had had yet another car accident.

    I hope you won't take offense if I suggest that it might be time she stops driving.
    I saw him last night! I was walking my dogs on Prospect between Franklin and Classon around midnight when he approached me. It took all my willpower not to laugh in his face, I especially liked how he pretended to be on his cell and called me neighbor. There was no way I was interrupting him though, I wanted to hear the full story.

    His mother got into a car accident on Rogers and Bergen, hitting pedestrians when she jumped the curb by the statue. He rushed her to Methodist, found a tow company to get her car, works for channel something and needed $9 or $11. I was practically giggling by the end, I think he may have caught on. Red shirt, baseball cap, glasses. He looks like he lost a little weight though, maybe all that stress? :lol:
  • anonymous
    anonymous
    god damn it, i really need to stop being such a sucker. gave the dude a twenty spot last night. i should've known better, but he straight up cried, plus the tale of the cop dropping n-bombs on him basically piqued my white guilt something awful.

    the "neighbor" thing was big, too. it's not that i'm unfriendly generally, i'm just kinda bad with people and the whole "good morning" on the street thing isn't a thing i do, and it sometimes makes me feel like i'm a bad member of the community or something.

    still, i guess it's a good thing three people didn't actually get smashed into on the sidewalk. this dude beat me up with tricks.
  • caseopele
    caseopele
    Ohhh, I forgot about the cops calling him the n-word! I loved how it came out of nowhere and I think that is when I started giggling.
  • anonymous
    anonymous
    i dunno, he put on a solid performance for me, smoothly transitioning into that particular talking point, and even introducing it with a slight bottom lip quiver. i was totally fucked at that point, i could feel my money abandoning ship. oh, also i was riding a pretty nice wine drunk that probably didn't help my judgment much. such is life: you get tricked by dudes on the street at 1:30 in the morning when you're trying to go home to sleep.
  • whatchuwant
    whatchuwant
    Saw this guy outside of Barrette couple of months ago. I was having a smoke and he walked up to my friend and I and started his routine. My eyes went wide when I recognized him and I said loudly and laughing, "holy shit man, your pic is on the internet- people know about you!" He stopped dead in his tracks, turned, and hightailed it. It was awesome.

    Check it- I think next time I'll ask for his autograph and to have my photo taken with him.
  • sweet tea
    sweet tea
    oh, and i paid more attention this time -- oliver harris is NOT the guy pictured in the other thread.
  • t-fal
    t-fal
    this reminds me of the time, several years ago that I was doing my laundry in the laundromat on Nostrand btwn Sterling and Park. This guy with a wicked napoleon complex comes in, sees my pile of change and asks for a "donation to the homeless." I used my tried and true "sorry already gave at the office today" dismissal, when he got all up in my face about it, using a litany of tactics designed to part me of my laundry money. the nerve! I gave him a piece of my mind and ran him out of the laundromat to the amusement of the other patrons. what he didn't realize what that i had an even bigger napoleon complex.

    by the time i was eventually questioned by oliver harris, i had an airtight dismissal.
  • jimmylegs
    jimmylegs
    oliver needs to update his story, you can't keep operating in the same area for so many years with the same exact pitch and not expect people to catch on! maybe he has Asberger's Syndrome and can't do anything else?

    and the guy going to the bronx, i think i used to get that guy in clinton hill in years past. he always brings up his children and involves them in the story. every time i saw him it was the kids' birthday somehow.
  • anonymous
    anonymous
    A few years ago we had a guy ring our bell in Clinton Hill carrying a clipboard saying that a child was killed ion Fort Greene Park and he was taking up a collection for burial costs. My roommate and I each parted with $20. After we got back in the house it struck us as odd. Sure enough a few weeks later and I'm at the Atlantis Laundromat on Atlantic and he approaches me with the exact same story. I mentioned how we gave him money and he hightailed it out of there. I wonder if these two guys are related?
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