The New Neighbors (warning: extreme satire)

Who are these well-dressed, well-spoken African Americans doing in my neighborhood? They continue to speak proper english and they don't listen to Frank Sinatra and dress like it's 1985 like all of our neighbors. They strut around this nabe like they own the place. Like as if someone of any color or creed could live anywhere they choose like they have civil rights or something. Their kids go to our schools and now my kids are innundated with concepts like "tolerance" and "history" and lame shit like that.

They come around here, keeping their properties clean, having their kids get good grades, and generally making our community more diverse and interesting. Just last week, tow African bristos opened up under the El. My wife now shopps at this little Jamaican boutique where she gets the most banging caribbean floral dresses and Cuban furniture. Suddenly, my Irish next-door neighbor is telling me about some diner serving up Soul Food and telling me how the Cornbread pie "tastes like heaven".

Back when I moved here, I was the only AA in town. I felt special. People had unique names for me like "moonie" and "mudhut". Now, all my neighbors no longer care about my race. Suddenly, it's like color just doesn't matter to them anymore. NYC is losing it's edge. Blacks are living with Whites and my duaghter is engaged to a Korean. WTF happened to the discirmination and segregation that gave this city so much "Flavor?"


I'm sick of this racial mixing. These Chinese, Russian, Mexican and African immigrants come with their buisnesses, money, and desire to live a better life and now all my Italian neighbors are being pushed out. Were losing our "flavor". God Damnit, neighborhoods are supposed to be mono-cultural and mono-economic. Didn't anybody watch "Birth of a Nation"?



That's it, I'm moving to Kansas :P