How do I get my cat to stop being such a bully?

ccgh · November 2007

So, my boy cat used to really be an equal match for his older sister. When she died, I got a new kitten (La Terrorista).

Two years later and she is totally dominating him. He's such a peaceful little man, but she's a brat.

She patrols the edge of the bed so he can't get on it.

She jumps in the middle whenever I am playing with him.

She eats her food as fast as she can so she can then try to eat his food.

Her latest thing is harassing him while he's in the litter box.

I keep telling him to kick her ass, but that's not working :-(

When I catch her at her worst, I yell at her right there and push her away from him. I block her from getting to his food....Yet the more stinky she is, the more shy he becomes.

I make sure to give him special one-on-one time and brush him, give him treats, etc., but I miss my boy who didn't take any shit.

Any suggestions?

lilbangladesh · November 2007

Gee, I don't know what to say because I'm kind of in the same situation. Holy cow, girl cats can be a terror! How old are your kitties and how long have you had the new kitty? When I brought Tuly home, Penny was so excited about having a new kitty to play with and she walked out of the carrier like a queen bee. "This is my house, this is my human, and YOU'RE not welcome!!" And it didn't help that Penny is a mush who doesn't stand up for himself.

Time seems to help. I also moved recently (and aren't you moving soon?) and that seems to have shifted the balance of power. Penny stopped taking so much of her shit and Tuly gets more joy out of destroying my stuff (she's taken to shutting off my computer from the power strip switch! She's cruisin' for a bruisin'!) than picking on him.

Penny does spend more time in my bed now. He sleeps under the covers with me and basically acts like my teddy bear.

The one thing I might suggest is to feed the cats separately. Penny can't eat Tuly's food so I have to lock her in the bathroom to feed her. It seems to give them necessary "apart time".

Hopefully, things will iron out. Tuly will actually bathe Penny on occasion now, which would just melt your heart if you saw it.

joestrip · November 2007

My boy is 6 years old - for the first 4 years he had an older sister, but when she died 2 years ago, La Terrorista joined the house.

It's not really as bad as it sounds on paper - it's just a change in the dynamic and I wish he'd be a little stronger in standing up to her.

One of the things that works is spending time doing things that are exclusively "his". He seems to really dominate the laser-pointer game.....and the one space he owns is the spare bedroom (which used to belong to his big sister, and La Terrorista seems to tread lightly there).

Yes, I am moving in a few weeks - and I was thinking the same thing - that it might change things again.

I feed them in separate rooms, but I have to follow him with his food and keep putting it under his nose until he eats. Once he starts, he does ok, but he deifintely needs to be away from her to eat.

The thing that bothers me is when she goes after him in the litter box. He really gets upset and I hope it doesn't ever lead to him looking for another place to go,

Sometimes she grooms him or they sleep next to each other and I'm thrilled.

I'm smiling right now watching him scoop water out of "his" drinking glass in order to drink it (sometimes he drinks right out of the glass, but other times he scoops it out with his paw...either way, he loves cold, clean water from the Brita pitcher....spoiled!).

Thanks for your suggestions!

lydiabrunch · November 2007

Haven't used it myself, but I've heard good things about Feliway from others:

http://www.vpl.com/product.php?catmain=&mainkey=&pid=58&key=24&cat=Behavior

How do I get my cat to stop being such a bully?

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