should i care ?
k, so someone on this board in various seperate threads has managed to provide enough for me to absolutely KNOW who they are as i pass them on the street. ( i wasnt trying to play "clue", was just that obvious)
despite what 2 people may say, i am actually a pretty nice guy.
SO my question is , do i inform said person via im , in person or not at all ?
i have no "interest" in this person nor bear any malice.
indeed i dont think weve even interacted here.
Just trying to figure out the best way if at all to inform this person that they are giving away theyre identity, without completely scaring the bejeezzus out of them,or coming off the wrong way.
its entirely possible said person is less cautious than i and doesnt give a darn.
any advice ?
should i even care ?
despite what 2 people may say, i am actually a pretty nice guy.
SO my question is , do i inform said person via im , in person or not at all ?
i have no "interest" in this person nor bear any malice.
indeed i dont think weve even interacted here.
Just trying to figure out the best way if at all to inform this person that they are giving away theyre identity, without completely scaring the bejeezzus out of them,or coming off the wrong way.
its entirely possible said person is less cautious than i and doesnt give a darn.
any advice ?
should i even care ?
Comments
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personally, i dont think you should care.
some people don't care about their own privacy as much as you may, so they may or may not blink an eye at the fact that you can pick them out of crowd. if they're an adult, chances are they know what they're doing.
however, if you're really concerned that this person is giving away more than you think he or she should--for example if this person is a minor and you think his/her life could be put in jeopardy--send them a PM (ONE PM) and let them do with the info what they will.
of course, now i'm wondering if person is me. but i dont think i've given much away. -
write it all down in a slam book and give it to your best friend.
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I've never been terribly concerned. I mean, my picture is posted right there to the left.
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first i have to know what a slam book is or care
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I see Shishkab's dogs all the time and I probably look like a stalker :-)
I would go with a PM with what you just said. Maybe they'll say "next time, say hi"....or "I really prefer to keep my privacy".
Somebody found me once, and I was ok with it because they respected my wishes. So, if they don't respond positively, leave 'em alone and you should be fine. -
ah you misunderstand Flexi,
i have zero interest in this person other than human kindliness.
no animosity , nor any positive interest - total neutral.
i am a good neighbor however.
i was able to see so clearly without making an effort,
than surely others can as well.
i just want them to be aware that theyve managed to give themselves away without scaring the crap out of them or having them think i have any other intention.
kinda hoping said person unwittingly weighs in
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Has this person posted anything that would make them fear to be 'outed'?
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Subject: Re: should i care ?
If it was me, I would want you to say hello!
I was insulted by someone on this forum once upon a time. I know who they are. They don't know who I am. I decided to say nothing, just treat them like they are two different people. Sometimes people feel free to say things when they think that they are anonymous that they would never say to you if they actually knew you. People's impressions of who you are change based on whether or not you know them IRL.
I once belonged to an online community that extended itself into real life. Some of the people that I met are still good friends today, often people that I wouldn't have met otherwise like a couple of white conservative republicans from the south. People were far kinder to each other because they knew each other than they can be on this forum!
I also spent many years as a moderator on a far-right forum. The owner used to remind people to pretend that they were in a living room as a guest in someones house speaking to other guests. It didn't work very well, but it's a good point. -
Garfunky wrote: ah you misunderstand Flexi,
Well, first off, I now know for sure it's not me :-)
But I think I understood you fine.....I don't have any interest in Shiskab either (although her dogs are pretty cute!) -
mamacita
said person posts frequently enough im certain there have been times they were involved in one of those rather pointless debates in which everyone is hostile over virtually nothing.
there is no way to know whether said person ever also got hostile to the point that someone might have an ax to grind. if i examine each and every post, i am crossing the stalker line in my own opinion.
One of my neighbors was a victim of identity fraud.
it took years to clear. so maybe im just a tad sensitive.
I had considered writing to a mod by im,
but based on the lone obtuse remark in this thread
im glad i asked the board. -
k i think you get me flexi,
I saw a gal the other day whose coat had somehow caught on the back of her skirt or belt i dunno, and was bizarrely folded UP.
cough cough, excuse miss , miss , MISSS hello you with the hat in front of me ?
(she finally turns around)
I cant bring myself to make eye contact , I feel my face flushing as i
say" the back of your skirt is kinda ,well, REALLY caught on something"
she thanks me 4 times amidst a coupla o my gods
as i stared stupidly at my shoes, mumbled a your welcome and quickly walked away. -
I tell people stuff like that if I see it, and I'm grateful if they tell me.
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I say go for it! PM them, do it now.
It's not a big deal. they either ignore you or take your advice.
Either way no harm done. It's not like you can try and forget the fact you know them. Might as well be truthful.
My advice: do it. No problemo. -
Garfunky wrote: k i think you get me flexi,
that was me! :shock:
I saw a gal the other day whose coat had somehow caught on the back of her skirt or belt i dunno, and was bizarrely folded UP.
cough cough, excuse miss , miss , MISSS hello you with the hat in front of me ?
(she finally turns around)
I cant bring myself to make eye contact , I feel my face flushing as i
say" the back of your skirt is kinda ,well, REALLY caught on something"
she thanks me 4 times amidst a coupla o my gods
as i stared stupidly at my shoes, mumbled a your welcome and quickly walked away. -
Garfunky wrote: first i have to know what a slam book is or care
heh. honestly, found your post completely confusing. now, I think I get it.
in any case, feel free to PM a mod or admin if you think it'll help. or PM the user. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if the person wasn't shocked. I've been semi-recognized a few times. kinda bizarre experience, but not really anything unexpected. -
Was it me? Did you see me dance down the street?
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either PM them or put up a page on facebook and send them the link
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Well, I know it's not me since I've given enough info on this board to make it pretty darn obvious who I am. Unless there's another crazy woman who carried a tiny kitten around in her cleavage for 2 weeks.
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i'm all over the net. you could find my number on the ads. you can find my pic below my sig. you could find where i go on the net from my ip.
there is no real privacy in life any more. i'm not important enough to warrant any type of paranoia. -
Unless you are going to "out" the person on the board and post their name (which you won't do)----does it really matter that you figured out who that person is? I have figured out who a few people are just through chance circumstances and other list serves and I never gave it much thought. They are still basically anonymous to me, except that I know what they look like and a name. But do I care? Should they care? I don't think so.
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WTGirl wrote: )----does it really matter that you figured out who that person is? ..... But do I care? Should they care? I don't think so.
If one's butt is flappin in the breeze and one intended it then its no big deal.
If however they are completely oblivious to that fact,
then YES i feel obligated to just say "uh you need to check your skirt".
if someone dropped their ID on the street, i would chase them to say "HEY you dropped your ID. be careful !"
Just because they are an adult and know what they are doing does not necessarily mean that they are aware they dropped something.
pm has been sent.
thanks for the advice all. -
quijibo wrote:
that was me! :shock:
thankfully thoughts of "taintalicious" were kept at bay
and i was able to just inform. -
Wow, are we supposed to be keeping our identities hidden (like some super hero club or somethin?). I didn't know that. I've my pic posted, don't care when people say "Hi, I've seen you on the DH/PH board I'm so adn so". I think my incredibly dorky trademark sunglasses are usually the giveaway. Besides, I feel kinda like a rock star when people recognize me.
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I think as long as we protect our real identity from being discovered somewhere else online, then we're ok. And by that I mean to make sure someone couldn't find out who you really are just by using your screen name. Personally, I think it's wonderful that someone here noticed and cared enough to make a post. Whether or not there could have been a threat to someone's identity, it still is a very kind thing to do. Brooklynian isn't as mean-spirited as some people say, there's a sense of community here. Granted there are arguments and some hostility but I think it's less than it appears.
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Caseopele .. I agree with you. It was basically a kind thing to bring this up on the part of the OP.
Many years ago.. like 15 I was in a yahoo chat room and I was using my first name.Dropped some details and some idiot types back my address... They obviously had a yellow pages or something. Well it freaked me out!! Learned a lesson but modified it.. I feel a certain safety in this site to reveal who I am. Also.. as another poster pointed out the scoop of the net has become so wide it is imposible to remain anonymous if you post or even use the net. -
I still don't see what the big deal is if someone knows who you are. I personally don't write anything I would not say to someone's face. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, with all the DH happy hours, a LOT of us know who each other are, and have hung out on occasion. Like I said, I did not know it was such a big deal. 8) -
Well in my case, I have been to the last several DH happy hours.
But I have been extremely careful to hide and not let my identity be discovered by anyone.
That said, it has truly been a pleasure being there with everyone.
*blinks*
Okay, just kidding.
I will actually make it one of these days.
Back to the topic at hand, unlike some chat room #2729 wherever, I don't see these particular forums as a place where I'd want to be anonymous.
It's actually one place (of many places and activities) I see that helps me connect to others nearby to discuss all things local, and I actually look forward to connecting names to faces at events like the happy hours.
Sure, one needs to be careful anywhere, but then again, if you have an online profile anywhere, have given to any political candidate, have appeared in any publications or about a million other things, there will be information freely available about you out there that's just a query string away from anyone that might be interested.
At least here I consider it great sport to imagine what people look like, so I can have a good crackup when I meet them in person.
And generally speaking, if people here considered for a moment (as many here already do) that they might run into any of their Brooklynian neighbors in person on any given day, well, perhaps the nature of conversations here might benefit.
Okay, that's not at all a novel thing to say, but there it is. -
little bo beep...
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I've never made any effort to hide my identity- I've been an active member of MANY message boards and ended up making lots of friend IRL. I don't say things online that I wouldn't stand behind in person, and I'd gladly discuss any thread I've participated in irl as well. Incidentally, I've made posts that say what I look like and that would make it really difficult to miss me on the street (hello, I have 6 different colors in my hair!) [oops, was I not supposed to say that?!]
Either way- if someone wants to stalk me or something they could do it easier than on this message board. -
I like how Carmen's Picard there appears to be averting his eyes from the horror.
Captain...Jean-Luc-Picard...of the USS-Avert-Your-Eyes. (boop beep...)
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