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what would you do if... — Brooklynian

what would you do if...

cat
cat
edited November -1 in Brooklyn Pets
Your cat died at an animal hospital and you wanted to get her remains to bury her (with your other cat, her friend). You were not thrilled with her care and were intensely grieving and had just gotten to a better place about it when the animal hospital calls you a week or so later to tell you that they have your cat's ashes(you hadn't picked the body up yet). You're like, huh?

Turns out your cat was cremated "by mistake." The head of the hospital tells you there was nothing they could do - it had never happened before - but you realize that there were no clear safeguards in place to prevent it FROM happening. You think it was just an accident waiting to happen despite head of animal hospital's protest and wanting to blame it on crematorium.

I have been grappling with this and really don't know what to think.

I know it's a 'just move on' kind of thing but i'm curious what others would think/feel/do.

thanks.

cat.

Comments

  • leozoeypiper
    leozoeypiper
    First and foremost, I am really sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so difficult.

    I think that I would just make peace with what has happened. There is nothing you can do to change what has been done. I definitely wouldn't pay for the cremation but I think that you are going to have to let it go. I would bury the ashes next to your other beloved cat or sprinkle them where the other cat is buried. I don't think that it's worth feeling angry about. You need to heal right now and being angry about this won't help you feel any better.
  • lisa999
    lisa999
    I second what LZP said. I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I've been there and know how tough it is (I had to have my best friend handle the logistics of what to do with her remains.....now I have the ashes and haven't done anything with them in 2 years).

    They made a mistake. A bad one, but I'd try to let it go as nothing you do is going to change what happened and it's just going to upset you further.
  • jimmylegs
    jimmylegs
    och, same thing happened to me. honestly, there may be health codes related to pets' remains that force hospitals to cremate quickly. but also, they get to stick you with one last fee for the 'service.' my vet's office wasn't particularly nice about the whole process, either.

    but what everybody is saying is true. there isn't much to do besides making peace with what happened. you can still get the ashes (they'll probably charge you yet another fee to take them from the hospital), tho it's not the same of course.

    sorry to hear about it all, i think most vets need some 'bedside manner' lessons, big time.
  • cat
    cat
    I would not pay for the ashes and they didn't expect me to. It had nothing to do with length of time her body was there (it was taken the next day) - it was a clear error. (And they had told me her body could stay there...)

    The crematorium workers come in the middle of the night, unescorted, with paperwork that they are supposed to read carefully but clearly didn't. This animal place was at least apologetic.

    I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate experience.

    however, I also left my cat's tissue there that I wanted tested and THAT was thrown out. So they have two strikes against them and I'm not even convinced she got the best care.

    I think we've all gotten too conditioned to accept f**ed up things. Yes,I agree with a sort of zen, move on attitude but how does that help anything on some level?esp. when dealing with most doctors, who are difficult (i.e., know it all - which leads to errors) to begin with. How does that help next patient if they do not get called on their 'mistakes?' I only recently found out about the thrown out tissue and what-I-believe-were lack of safeguards.

    Other than the lack of safeguards that I believe were not in place, I know people who might not get cremated themselves who cremate their animals. But I had not decided how I even felt about cremation, and I wanted to see my little cat one more time.

    anyway, I'm split between 'maybe this is how it was supposed to happen'/fate sort of attitude and being angry. It's not even anger - it's bafflement. & If I had felt 100% confident about her care, this error would be easier to accept.

    However, thanks for all your words & thoughts. I'm sorry jimmylegs that you went through this also. It's hard enough dealing with the death of your animal but when mistakes get piled on on top of it, it's harder.
  • violet
    violet
    I'm so sorry for your loss. :cry:
  • leozoeypiper
    leozoeypiper
    I know that this is besides the point ... but what animal hospital was it? It would be great to have a heads up about this clinic.
  • cat
    cat
    Violet wrote: I'm so sorry for your loss. :cry:
    Thank you.
  • cat
    cat
    Leozoeypiper wrote: I know that this is besides the point ... but what animal hospital was it? It would be great to have a heads up about this clinic.
    Animal Kind on 7th Avenue.
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