kids queer in CH

alafairnadia · October 2006

anniewilde wrote: What is "with" my attitude? Well, I'm trying to be polite about it, but I really, really do not think people are very "clued in,"--on so many levels that to even begin to break it down would be a book. This board is largely a space of white gentrifiers, who tend to see the people of color in CH in absurdly short sighted and cartoonish ways, and who get very defensive when called on it. It's sad and laughable and pathetic and typical...Meanwhile, the black people I know are in their own utterly opposed worlds, and while they know exactly how f'ed up the white people are, whites seem to feel a politically correct need to see blacks as jolly good natured folk who love their parties and think they're just peachy. I guess Aunt Jemima must be alive and well in CH. Oh, and those black nannies--they just LOVES their white massas too!

wait, WHAT? where are you seeing this "attitude" on this thread? you're really the only person bringing any hostility into it.

that said, one can encounter homophobia anywhere. I work at one of (and that's understating it) the best law firms in the US - despite numerous queer partners and queer associates and a staunchly liberal political atmosphere, there is still rampant homophobia at all levels of the firm. and I'm talking about rich white people.

cowgirly · October 2006

anniewilde wrote: I also think it's pretty funny when people talk about the "warm and friendly" neighbors. Of course, there are friendly people--but a conversation that scratches the surfaces with many of the Caribbean people who have lived here for decades reveals not very thinly veiled hostility towards white gentrifiers.

Just wanted to add that the reason I think my neighbors are friendly is because they are often the ones who scratch the surface of our conversations and bring up the issue of race, class and gentrification. Some of my neighbors acknowledge the obvious differences between us, they don't pretend to ignore anything, and they are often the first ones to steer the conversation in that direction. I've had more than a few conversations with neighbors I pass on the street which have taken a deep and honest turn, where we both have gotten to share our views and our concerns, and I, at least, walked away with a warm feeling in my heart from truly connecting with people.

Clearly this is not always the case, and more often than not I just smile and nod at my neighbors, and get a smile and nod in return. But I just wanted you to know, Anniewilde, that the surface *is* being scratched, we're not all living in fantasyland, and we don't all make assumptions about our neighbors, no matter what color we are.

tamara · November 2006

Ok.. Come on now. One thing. Lesbians are, in the neighborhood an 'in-thing'. It's freaky, they think they'll 'get over it' or guys get turned on.
Male couples are not. Male couples with kids?? on Franklin? I wouldn't do it. Maybe Washington or Underhill, but not Franklin.
Carribeans, and blacks on a whole are unfortunately very homophobic [my husband would agree]. This is one of the reasons as to why there is the whole homo-thug movement with underground parties etc. Most of these guys are married and have kids but since being a gay man in our culture isn't as accepted as in others, they are forced to. This is the number one cause that black and hispanic women are at highest risk of HIV infection. And listen carefully now, I am NOT saying it's coming from being gay, but being gay and not being able to show it.
Although I might not have anything against it, you would get a lot of looks and stares in my neck of the woods.

iemmathu · November 2006

I would agree with the last poster that two women sharing a household and raising children would not raise any eyebrows. But I think people would probably be openly hostile to two out gay men with kids.

Things do change from block to block in CH-- but its still going to be a while before something like queer families, particularly those that are run by men are accepted.

I'm gay and I am white, and I have been living in CH for quite some time. I have been out to my family since i was in high school, I have been out at every position I have held professionally, and I have been out in every neighborhood I have lived in. . . except for this one. I just don't feel safe being totally out. I would never in a million years walk on my block with my arms around another man. I did do that when I lived in the east village-- but i would never do that here.

In my building I am very friendly with some of my neighbors and not so friendly with others. And I feel like they all know I am gay- but nothing is said. I never talk about girls in a romantic way, I have had visibly effeminate men that are friends over, I don't necessarily hide it- but i don't come out and say it. And when they talk to me-- they dance around the subject. They describe me as single, not gay. I wish things could be more honest and genuine with them, but really its best things stay exactly the way they are, at least for now.

kids queer in CH

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