Noisy Baby?

1) Your neighbors haven't said anything because it's a baby, and really, what can you do? Trust me, though - they hear it.

2) Closing the windows makes a huge difference in the situation you describe, and it is quite considerate of you.

I tolerate a fair amount of "normal" noise in my building and expect the same leeway. What I don't tolerate is stupid, inconsiderate noise; you have a crying baby or need to hammer on the wall a few times to hang a picture? Fine by me. You leave your yapping dog home by itself all day or decide to let your kids run around the lobby screaming for more than 5 minutes? You're getting a visit.

Don't stress out about this so much. You are obviously very considerate. You are doing all that you can to not bother your neighbors. You can't do anything else. And believe me, the majority of people would not be this considerate and would not think twice about their crying baby, so you are way above the crowd. Don't stress!

willregistersoon wrote: Thanks. I know most people probably would never think twice about this - and I'm probably going to far in the oppisite direction - being TOO considerate. When he's crying a lot I like to sit in a room that dont have windows facing the courtyard. Maybe thats going too far? (my wife definately thinks so!)

And then, on the topic of being considerate - there's the whole issue of breastfeeding in public. Ooops! Maybe I shouldn't go there?

Congrats on the new baby!! I think you are doing all you can to be considerate. As far as breastfeeding in public - as long as its your wife and not you - you should be fine

Congrats!!! and thanks for your consideration. If he does wake in the middle fo the night and you let him cry it out, please please take him to the living room. My downstairs neighbors let there child cry it out in the bedroom, just under where we are (trying) to sleeep. Sorry you have to have a bad nibht but why must I?

Congratulations on your new baby. having lived in a coop with A LOT of tension over crying babies--I do think you need to try to minimize the noise through rugs or homosote/cork board or whatnot. One of the several reasons I sold our coop when we had kids is that I knew the tension between me and one particularly persnickity neighbor was going to get really ugly. We would try to quiet the kids and he would come storming up to our apartment in a rage. On the other hand, we had a neighbor that would start to let her kid cry it out and give up after an hour every night and this went on for weeks. (I wanted to kill them for being so indecisive). That being said, we are living in an urban environment and there has to be give and take on both sides when living together. People are goign to have kids, practice guitars, walk, breath, push strollers etc.

If you are breastfeeding and have to feed your kid--what are you supposed to do? Of course you should feed your child wherever you want. No reason it can't be done discreetly though.

erikka wrote: Linus, why do you always get so touchy when a childless person DARES say something about someone else's kids affecting them, as if we should have no opinions since we didn't breed?.

I *THINK* because those of us with kids have sensed an anti-child sentiment on the board and maybe we think the best defense is a good offense.

I have been on both sides of the issue and think there has to be give and take for everybody. But a crying baby is a hard thing to control and very stressful when you need to worry about neighbors too. And of course a crying baby is annoying when it isn't yours (wait, they are even more annoying when they are yours!). But we do have to live together.

erikka wrote: Linus, why do you always get so touchy when a childless person DARES say something about someone else's kids affecting them, as if we should have no opinions since we didn't breed? And why do you care if people are anti-child--it''s not like the childless are an oppressed group in Park Slope. Like I said before, I'm sure your kids are fine, but there are kids who are monsters--and people are more likely to remember a negative experience over a postitve one. It's not always all about you--don't take it so personally.

If there was a screaming baby living next door to me, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. If the parents took measures to control the situation, that'd be great and I'd appreciate it. But it doesnt' change the fact that a baby screams at three in the morning adn wakes me up. Someone expressing their displeasure about being awaken in such a manner is understandable-- I'm sure any reasonable person would find it irritating, no matter how much they like children. That's great that you're trying to get baby to cry it out, but ifi it's a weeknight and I gotta work, I gotta sleep. Just being honest.

Well, you don't sound touchy at all.

If my posts in general piss you off, fine. I'm not going to re-fight every parent-vs.-childless thread that's ever been on Brooklynian.com here. This thread is not about children misbehaving. A baby crying as he adjusts to sleeping alone is not a "monster."

As I said, I too have been the neighbor woken up by someone else's crying baby. It's irritating as crap, as I said to BrooklynJack. But--crying is what babies do. And hearing it is one of the risks you sign up for when you choose to live in an apartment in a city.

A considerate parent should try to mitigate the problem, like the original poster here is trying to do. (I totally agree with kmom that there has to be give-and-take.) But that doesn't extend to deciding, "Let's not do cry-it-out, because it'll bother our single neighbors, and after all, they didn't decide to have kids, and society is unfairly stacked in favor of us breeders enough as it is!" So you have every right to be pissed off at 3 a.m., and I have every right to sleep-train my baby, which, in the long run, is in the interest of all our sleep.

BrooklynJack suggested the parents move the baby to the living room to cry it out. I said that, as a practical matter, it wouldn't solve the problem in the long run. But I could add: I don't recall anyone on this board ever suggesting that their neighbors who have noisy sex limit their screwing to the living room.

friendlypitbull wrote: These threads always amaze me - if you dont want to be inconvenienced or annoyed by other people you have to move away from them. Try Montana All anyone can be expected to do is try to be reasonably courteous (which the original poster was trying to be) - but some things in life are unavoidable - like babies that cry - or cooking that smells - if you dont like these facts of life and cant accept that your neighbors arent obligated to live their life for your convenience then move out of the city.

You are of course correct. We live in a crowded place and so tollerance is needed, but then, so is courtesy. I put up with some things like when my upstaris neighbor who is def as a post plays the TV at high volumns. But then I take my shoes off when I come home and tell my nieces and nephews they can't yell and scream like they do at home because we live in aptartment and have neighbors. Babies crying? Yea, it happens but 5 nights a week for hours on end!! And then dressing your kid in hard shoes and encouraging her to run screaming back and forth inside the apartment? I'm sosrry but that is just rude.

one of the reasons I live in a coop is that I have a lease like everyone else and I agreed to certain things like keeping 80% of my floors ccovered and keeping odors inside my apt, yea, it's in my lease and everone elses.

Sad...very sad. If your neighbors want to be in a real band they should practice in a real studio.

xueling wrote: [quote=BrooklynJack]Congrats!!! and thanks for your consideration. If he does wake in the middle fo the night and you let him cry it out, please please take him to the living room. My downstairs neighbors let there child cry it out in the bedroom, just under where we are (trying) to sleeep. Sorry you have to have a bad nibht but why must I?

You can't just plop a kid in the living room where there is no crib and let him cry. If you are sleep training it has to be done where the kid normally sleeps. Otherwise it is not effective and potentially dangerous.

There are some inexpensive ways to try to soundproof which is what i would have done if we had stayed in our coop. We would have put homosote on the floor and covered it with a rug and probably hung up a quilt on the wall. I do think parents have to take SOME responsibility on this too--although it is really hard to stop a crying baby sometimes.