how i feel RIGHT NOW about 311

call 911. if 311 isn't helping, you have every right to call 911. and yes, I know ppl will say that calling 911 for a noise complaint is a waste of resources, but you know what? if 311 is being useless and retarded, you have no other recourse. you pay taxes, you get service. there's no other number you can call right now.

did you call 911? seriously, your lawyer will tell you to establish a record -- call 911 and 311 every 15 minutes or something.

*hugs*

oh god this is so horrible and wrong.

If you are the landlord, why not try evicting them? why rent to people like this?

I know you say they are rent stabilized, but there are reasons for evicting rent stabilized people also, I have seen it done. Good luck.

Wow -- that's all crazy. Some other ideas (admittedly, from the uncomfortable to the absurd):

• buy her wireless headphones
• persistence with 311/police
• persistence with knocking at her door when noise is inappropriate
• ripping down the ceiling and sound insulating
• a handy broomstick
• subwoofers attached to the ceiling (under a bedroom?)

brooklynpotter wrote: usually she is a hard walker,so i can hear her. for the past two mornings i have hear someone walk quietly into the middle of her living room, sit down, and let out GIANT loud farts. then get up and quietly walk away.

I sympathize with your plight, but I'll be laughing at this part for a long time.

If it helps, they're probably fake.

Poke around for a copy of Metal Machine Music. You know the drill, position the speakers properly and and play it while you're out of the apartment - trust me, you won't want to be in the apartment while it's on. Don't BLAST it, we don't want to be blatant here, just a good healthy 5 or 6.

Somebody will be by to pick her up after a week or two of this.

OH! There's also an old record of Vincent Price telling a bunch of horror stories with sound effects. Checking...here:

http://cgi.ebay.com/WITCHES-TALES-VINCENT-PRICE-HALLOWEEN-RECORD-LP-SEALED_W0QQitemZ110062100965QQihZ001QQcategoryZ306QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem

You can get a copy with some honest wear for $10-15. Trust me, it's positively sublime.

When I was a teen having loud parties, the neighbors called the cops who promptly appeared.

Subject: Bloomberg fine?

I thought there was a huge fine if the cops come out on a noise complaint..... which is what keeps them from turning up the tv/radio/whatever again after the cops leave. I thougt this was one of Bloomberg's things....

I can relate to your plight. I had downstairs neighbors who CRANKED their surround sound system while watching movies. My bedroom sounded like an IMAX theater. I could hear everything: Guns firing, people yelling, cars screeching. Sometimes the floor would rumble to whole villages being blown up or something like that. Worst part is that this would happen only at night, around 2AM after I had already fallen asleep.

I had an absentee landlord who couldn't do anything. I asked my neighbors nicely to turn the noise down the first DOZEN times. Every time the noise started I would become more and more frustrated. Eventually, I couldn't even fall asleep thinking the noise might start up any second. As the weeks went by I got more and more and pissed off and started to think truly malicious thoughts. I asked them again and again to turn it down. I left notes. Each time, they told me to mind my own business. They even claimed that I was intruding on their privacy for asking them to stop using the surround sound at night. They said they had a right to blast whatever noise they wanted and I had to live with it. After about two months of living in hell I finally did lose it. One night, when the noise started up at 2AM again, I kicked the floor so hard and for so long I thought it would break. I had entered a realm where there is a point of no return. The guy (it was a couple) ran upstairs and pounded my door. He yelled at me and told me flakes of ceiling were raining down all over his apt (it was one of those "popcorn" ceilings from the 60's). He threatened to "beat the living shit" out of me. I was actually so shook up from losing control and stamping the floor so hard that I apologized to him! I was scared of what I might do if I didnt control myself. Anyway, the next day they came upstairs and told me THEY couldn't live with people like ME as neighbors! The irony. Two weeks later they were gone.

Okay, longer story than I thought. Seriously, before you move try buying her the wireless headphones as someone suggested. I know you're already past trying to be friendly and don't want to shell money out on this individual, but your running out of alternatives. If you can handle the possible consequences, the get even approach will allow you to vent at the very least. Its a slippery slope, though. I for one never want to feel like I could destroy someone again. Absurdly noisy neighbors have got to be one of the most annoying things in life. I wish you luck and peace.