Musings on bores with cellphones
I'll let Frank Bruni do the talking on this one because he gets paid way more than I do to write well -
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/29/at-the-dinner-table-how-much-does-milieu-matter/#more-494
I'll just say that the catalyst for my current rant was dinner last night at my favorite restaurant Al Di La. We were seated at 9:30 PM and stayed until a little past 11:00 PM - in other words we were dining at the time when the current hoard of young, self-described hip people who have heard about and may even enjoy the consistently excellent food and service there, show up - iphones and blackberries at the ready.
My rant - continually talking on and text messaging with cell phones in restaurants makes you a bore - plain and simple. It does not make you look important, only self-important. Talking at extreme elevated levels about how cool you, your job or you friends are also make you a bore, and irritate your dining neighbors. And lastly, people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants - you look like your parents drug you there.
End of rant.
P.S. - Kudos to the NYPD who, in course of 5 minutes, ticketed the Lincoln parked illegally in front of Al Di La, and then, in an act of advanced coordination, ticketed the hipster chick talking on her cell phone while driving slowly by in her car.
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/29/at-the-dinner-table-how-much-does-milieu-matter/#more-494
I'll just say that the catalyst for my current rant was dinner last night at my favorite restaurant Al Di La. We were seated at 9:30 PM and stayed until a little past 11:00 PM - in other words we were dining at the time when the current hoard of young, self-described hip people who have heard about and may even enjoy the consistently excellent food and service there, show up - iphones and blackberries at the ready.
My rant - continually talking on and text messaging with cell phones in restaurants makes you a bore - plain and simple. It does not make you look important, only self-important. Talking at extreme elevated levels about how cool you, your job or you friends are also make you a bore, and irritate your dining neighbors. And lastly, people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants - you look like your parents drug you there.
End of rant.
P.S. - Kudos to the NYPD who, in course of 5 minutes, ticketed the Lincoln parked illegally in front of Al Di La, and then, in an act of advanced coordination, ticketed the hipster chick talking on her cell phone while driving slowly by in her car.
Comments
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Subject: Re: Musings on bores with cellphones
Livetotravel wrote: And lastly, people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants - you look like your parents drug you there.
Oh give me a break. I agree about the cell phone thing (but I see more "adults" doing it than "kids" my age [20s]) but I've got to say to stop being so stuffy about flipflops. Al Di La is not THAT nice of a place- the plates are under $20, I'll wear flipflops if I feel like it. My flip-flop wearing doesn't inhibit my ability to dine or pay, and if it's 150 degrees outside I am simply not going to a restaurant where I'll be snubbed for wearing them. My toes are well groomed, get a grip.
I may be particularly sensitive as the one and only time I ate at Al Di La I was wearing jeans, flipflops and a wifebeater because my friend and I were actually on our way to the V spot and decided to poke our heads in and see if there were any openings by chance. Low and behold someone had just cancelled their place on the waitlist and we were seated, saturday at 8PM in 5 minutes. Should I have no even bothered to check because of my clothes? We enjoyed an amazing dinner (although the pretentious woman sitting next to me invited herself into our [low volume] conversation about wine to inform me that only people "new to wine" enjoy doing flights. Thanks, I don't remember asking you.) I figure if the restaurant doesn't have a dress code and they don't refuse to serve me, I shouldn't be heckled by fellow patrons. Its not like I showed up in a bathing suit, and some of the stuff I've seen women wearing on "dates" classifies are far more obscene and offensive than my hotpink toenails. -
The operative phrase in the original post was "shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops" - as in, in-combination, not singly, not as separates, but as a 10-year-olds uniform. I have nothing against flip-flops and think they actually look sexy as hell with a summer sun dress for example.
And, to be perfectly fair, the offending wearers of the 10-year-olds uniform are men in their 20's (maybe early 30's) who, clearly suffering from arrested development, must still be yearning for those heady days of 10th Grade, when, wearing the exact same clothes, they would sneak behind buildings like mine to take that first toke. -
Feet are gross. I shouldn't have to look at yours or anyone else's, well groomed or not, unless I'm at the beach.
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Are there any other body parts you find offensive?
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nose hairs
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Why are you looking at people's feet when you're dining? I thought people are supposed to keep them under the table.
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I pretty much agree with everything that Carmen said re: cell phones and flip flops. Now, that agreement probably comes from having that same experience with AlDiLa La... A friend and I were wearing summer grungy clothes (I don't remember if out toes were actually showing) and we headed up 5th ave to find a place to eat. Low and behold when we pass by the restaurant is packed but we see one table for two open and we go in and poof we were seated. We had a great meal.
As I think about it I think your chances of getting in to this place must improve if you are really dressed for a beach/summer fun day rather than what one might wear to "go out to dinner." -
It's all about how you wear it.
However, I agree with the cell phone rant, obviously, and wish more restaurants would step up. S'nice has a sign stating something like "Laptops not allowed on weekends" which means they are encouraging more FACE TO FACE interactions. KUDOS!!
Why can't more places have a "Please refrain from using your cell phone during our fine dining hours" Just for dinners?! Whaddya think? People will balk, I know... -
The Chipster wrote: S'nice has a sign stating something like "Laptops not allowed on weekends" which means they are encouraging more FACE TO FACE interactions. KUDOS!!
It could mean that, but I would think they are encouraging fewer people to take up seats all day when business is heavier than during the week. If it encourages more face-to-face interaction, that's a nice byproduct. :-) -
I think the cell phone thing is legit, to a point. if I'm expecting a call re: an update on a sick relative, or whether or not the server upgrade will be done by the time I get home from dinner, I generally warn my friends and keep the cell on the table. if I'm expecting an important email that I need to respond to asap so I can placate someone and then finish enjoying dinner, again, warn people and keep it on the table. once that business is done, however, back in the purse they go.
also, if I know the call will be lengthy, I will get up and go outside to take it. I don't want a whole group of folks to have to listen to what's going on in my life/worklife/whatever. if it's just a "hey, is granny ok?" "yes, she's doing better" "great, thanks, love you" that's okay to take at a table, I think, but if it's going to be a detailed discussion of more than 30 seconds, I'll head outside.
if I know I'm planning to go to a nice place for dinner, I'll probably dress up to a degree. however, if I'm meeting someone after work, or whatever, I will definitely be in my flip flops in the summer time. it's just too damn hot. also, if I'm looking vaguely ratty and spur of the moment with two friends decided to eat at a schmancy place, I'll usually ask to get seated at the bar. it's more casual and usually comes with a free glass of wine or two. -
alafairnadia wrote: I think the cell phone thing is legit, to a point. if I'm expecting a call re: an update on a sick relative, or whether or not the server upgrade will be done by the time I get home from dinner, I generally warn my friends and keep the cell on the table. if I'm expecting an important email that I need to respond to asap so I can placate someone and then finish enjoying dinner, again, warn people and keep it on the table. once that business is done, however, back in the purse they go.
Pardon my saying so, but keeping your phone on the table is the 800 lb gorilla in the room. If you have no pockets, keep it under your lap. Having it on the table is nervous-making for everyone, and hows that you're more interested in whatever magic message the phone will bring.
Unless you're awaiting a transplant organ, enjoy your dinner and your companions. Whatever else is going on in your life can wait until your evening is done.
I think I now qualify as an "Old", but there really was life before cell phones, and everything got done, including enjoying the company of friends. -
so, in other words, if I'm a doctor, for instance, who might get called for an update on a patient, and I have no pockets, I should keep nervously checking my purse, or try to balance a phone or blackberry in my lap? I think tucking it next to my plate so I can see when it lights up and continue conversing with my companions is the correct thing to do. one of my best friends, while doing her opthamology residency, would go out to dinner with me. I had no problem with the fact that she was on call to all the junior residents and need to know immediately if her phone rang. personally, I think it's much nicer to keep it on silent and on the table than to put an obnoxiously loud ringtone you can hear over restaurant noise on it, or put it on vibrate which disturbs the entire table and, frankly, when I do have pockets, never feel. heck, I know that if someone showed up with a detached retina in the er, she was going to abandon her dinner and drive back to the hospital. you warn people in advance. if you're at the next table, wtf are you doing looking at my table? mind your business. enjoy your OWN dinner companions.
I do agree that loud hipsters that are incessantly twittering and chicking their LJ and email for no real reason are jerks. I think having more than a 30 second conversation, quiet or not, in the middle of a restaurant, on the phone is rude. there are steps one can take to mitigate those circumstances - you can pay attention to your companions instead of twittering about your friend's new boyfriend. and if you have no need to intercept a phone call or email that you know of, you can leave all that crap in your purse/pockets and ignore it.
but I don't agree that putting something on a table, set to silent, is an 800 lb gorilla.
then again, I love babbo - dining to nirvana and metallica at a high end place is my idea of perfect. so we probably don't eat in the same restaurants anyway. -
Note from the grammar fairy:
OP, I think you mean "boor," not "bore."
The Free Online Dictionary says
boor
n.
1. A person with rude, clumsy manners and little refinement.
2. A peasant.
and
bore 2 (bôr)
tr.v. bored, bor·ing, bores
To make weary by being dull, repetitive, or tedious: The movie bored us.
n.
One that is wearingly dull, repetitive, or tedious.
One second thought, perhaps "bore" was a double entendre.
Exit grammar fairy. -
Re-enter grammar fairy...
It's "lo and behold": http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lo
Exit.
Anyway, I agree about the cell phones--it's boorish to continually consult your phone or to have conversations on it at the table. I don't care if people do it at a bar where you're waiting for other people or trying to decide what you're doing next, but putting it away to eat for 20 minutes is reasonable.
Once, at Beast, someone at another table had their phone sitting on the table while they ate. It kept ringing and the guy would pick it up to see who it was, then set it back down on the table without answering so that it kept ringing. Everyone was alternately looking daggers at him and at each other in disbelief. Finally, I went over and said that I had the same model of phone and informed him that there was a button on the side that would instantly switch it to vibrate. He looked at me like I was nuts, did nothing, and got several other calls before they left. -
Ain't English fun...5th ranking definition from M-W...
Main Entry:
5bore
Function:
noun
Etymology:
origin unknown
Date:
1766
: one that causes boredom: as a: a tiresome person b: something that is devoid of interest
In my mind those restaurant-going, cellphone using people are tiresome and devoid of interest and extremely dull and tedious
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Subject: Re: Musings on bores with cellphones
Carmen wrote: [quote=Livetotravel] And lastly, people in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, please eat in the park - period - stay out of my restaurants - you look like your parents drug you there.
Oh give me a break. I agree about the cell phone thing (but I see more "adults" doing it than "kids" my age [20s]) but I've got to say to stop being so stuffy about flipflops.
:wtf:
What is up with all those stupid flip flops? Don't chicks have a fear of stepping on broken glass? Did Paris Hilton announce flip flops were hot or just the owners of every nail salon in town who must be making millions off of all the flip flop freaks with silly painted toe nails? Not attractive. Not good. Barf!
:pukel: :pukel: :pukel: :pukel: :pukel:
Anyone yapping loudly about crap no one cares about on a cell phone or to another person who is physically present is annoying. Sometimes it is worse when NO cell phone is involved and you are sitting next to two loud, boring speakers -- then you must hear double speakers disturbing you. -
raw wrote: What is up with all those stupid flip flops?
^^^ well, I'm not a chick but, um, I wear sandals/flip-flops 'cause they're comfy and ('specially in hot weather) a lot cooler than shoes, temperature wise...
Why try correlate everything with some sheeple 'follow the leader' fashion mentality? Believe it or not, sometimes utility, not fashion, is the main concern. Unfortunately, this actually rationalizes Crocs, which I still don't get, but oh well... -
odd... when I'm at al di la, I only care about 3 things, the food, my wine, and the person I'm with... but then again I have a trendy cell phone, wear flip flops, shorts, and sometimes a wifebeater. I honestly don't give a rats ass if its al di la or mcdonalds. Its quite possible if you are paying attention to everything outside your table, your conversation isn't as stimulating as you'd like it to be.
Musing on bores? if you're the type of person who goes out to dinner and talk bad about people having a great time, enjoying good food, drinking good wine, and enjoying their conversation just to make yourself look better, you are the bore. SHO NUFF! -
I agree with both. I said the same thing about attire when Barrio first opened. 321 hoodie, shorts and sneakers on one guy alone. Flip flops not too bad, depends on what it's with.
Cell phone users should leave the table for a lengthy call. All restaurants should have a sign posted about the rudeness of lengthy cell phone users. Sad people have to be told about manners. -
Ugh. All this feet-hating is excessive. If you are offended by the mere sight of feet in SANDALS then you've got issues.
People in general dress more casually for work, play, etc than they did years ago. Sloppy is still sloppy but there are now full fashion spectrums of shorts and "flip flops". I'm not wearing pantyhose ever again in life if I can avoid it and I walk everywhere so I'm not strolling down 5th Ave in 3-inch heels to a neighborhood restaurant no matter how fancy schmancy it is. Especially if the management doesn't enforce a dress code. I barely notice what other patrons are wearing because their wardrobe doesn't add to or detract from my experience. Why should you care what someone else is wearing?
I have kept my cell phone discretely in my lap or on the table on silent as alafairnadia describes and then excused myself to take or immediately return the very important call. But talking at the table is beyond rude. I once had dinner with my then-significant other and he was on the same call the entire time without a single pause. I was so furious but that's pretty extreme. -
i think you mean 'boor,' not 'bore'
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sorry for repeating something that had already been said
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alafairnadia wrote: so, in other words, if I'm a doctor, for instance, who might get called for an update on a patient, and I have no pockets, I should keep nervously checking my purse, or try to balance a phone or blackberry in my lap? I think tucking it next to my plate so I can see when it lights up and continue conversing with my companions is the correct thing to do. one of my best friends, while doing her opthamology residency, would go out to dinner with me. I had no problem with the fact that she was on call to all the junior residents and need to know immediately if her phone rang. personally, I think it's much nicer to keep it on silent and on the table than to put an obnoxiously loud ringtone you can hear over restaurant noise on it, or put it on vibrate which disturbs the entire table and, frankly, when I do have pockets, never feel. heck, I know that if someone showed up with a detached retina in the er, she was going to abandon her dinner and drive back to the hospital. you warn people in advance. if you're at the next table, wtf are you doing looking at my table? mind your business. enjoy your OWN dinner companions.
Slow down. We can disagree that keeping it on the table is insulting to your tablemates. Keeping a phone on vibrate on your lap or something is more discreet, in my opinion. Being "on call" doesn't mean constantly waiting for a call, which is rude.
I do agree that loud hipsters that are incessantly twittering and chicking their LJ and email for no real reason are jerks. I think having more than a 30 second conversation, quiet or not, in the middle of a restaurant, on the phone is rude. there are steps one can take to mitigate those circumstances - you can pay attention to your companions instead of twittering about your friend's new boyfriend. and if you have no need to intercept a phone call or email that you know of, you can leave all that crap in your purse/pockets and ignore it.
but I don't agree that putting something on a table, set to silent, is an 800 lb gorilla.
then again, I love babbo - dining to nirvana and metallica at a high end place is my idea of perfect. so we probably don't eat in the same restaurants anyway.
And as far as my choice of dining places, you don't know anything about me, except that i won't dine with people who's unreceived phone calls are more important than my company. -
I wear flip flops in the summer and I love 'em. Mines don't go" flip flop flip flop" when I walk though. I bought a pair that I can wear outside walking on sidewalks , not for walking on beaches. The bottom of them is the same as the bottom of a sneaker , so no stepping on glass or rocks and getting hurt. They are nice and comfortable. My jeans are big at the bottom so they cover up most of my foot. All you see is my pretty black toes. You no likey? DON'T FREAKIN' LOOK AT THEM!
Here are my babys:
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ninemonthsout wrote: Ugh. All this feet-hating is excessive. If you are offended by the mere sight of feet in SANDALS then you've got issues.
I'm offended by nasty looking feet. If you have ugly dogs, cover it up. -
redmenace wrote: Slow down. We can disagree that keeping it on the table is insulting to your tablemates. Keeping a phone on vibrate on your lap or something is more discreet, in my opinion. Being "on call" doesn't mean constantly waiting for a call, which is rude.
okay. so if you or a loved one had a detached retina and was in the ER and was unable to be treated quickly because the doctor on call didn't notice their phone ringing because they're worried about offending tablemates (who they've already cleared this with - but you still think it's rude), you'd be okay with that? I don't buy that at all. if one of your loved ones were sick and in surgery and you were waiting for an update from across the country from family, you'd keep your phone somewhere you might not notice it ringing to avoid rudeness, again, even though your table mates are human and can understand why this would be something you're concerned about and don't mind the presence of the cell phone? seriously? I *really* don't buy that.
And as far as my choice of dining places, you don't know anything about me, except that i won't dine with people who's unreceived phone calls are more important than my company. -
WhyFi wrote: [quote=raw]What is up with all those stupid flip flops?
^^^ well, I'm not a chick but, um, I wear sandals/flip-flops 'cause they're comfy and ('specially in hot weather) a lot cooler than shoes, temperature wise...
](*,)
I meant flip flop -- a thin, flimsy piece of rubber that makes an obnoxious smacking noise when it hits the ground. Flip flops are dumb period
Sandals are different. You can get durable, sturdy, leather sandals with thick soles that protect feet and, in some cases, even cover toes. -
seriously? I *really* don't buy that.
Really? What percentage of the boorish folks who can't keep their hands off their phones and/or blackberries do you figure are really emergency room physicians, or waiting to hear about recent surgeries?
And what percentage are just Twittering away about how bored they are with their meals or their dinner companions? Or texting the friends they're planning to meet after lunch? -
ninemonthsout wrote: Ugh. All this feet-hating is excessive. If you are offended by the mere sight of feet in SANDALS then you've got issues.
Feet stink.
Why should you care what someone else is wearing? -
booklaw wrote:
I already agreed that the twitter/txt people are annoying. gosh. I just so happen to be friends with a lot of folks who often need quick access to their phones and I'd rather they put them on silent and on the table than miss something important or having them on really loud. and I've been in the situation a few times myself when I need to know what's happening as it goes, for either family or job reasons (job reasons - mostly to placate people who will flip their shit at me if I don't reply to their email within 14 minutes). but yes, of course, the reality is that 99.99% of the people doing that are complete jackasses. I just think there are exceptions to all of these rules. I don't know why that's difficult to comprehend.seriously? I *really* don't buy that.
Really? What percentage of the boorish folks who can't keep their hands off their phones and/or blackberries do you figure are really emergency room physicians, or waiting to hear about recent surgeries?
And what percentage are just Twittering away about how bored they are with their meals or their dinner companions? Or texting the friends they're planning to meet after lunch?
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