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It's report card day, do you reward your kids? — Brooklynian

It's report card day, do you reward your kids?

longtimesloper
longtimesloper
edited November -1 in Park Slope

Subject: It's report card day, do you reward your kids?

Just curious to hear what other parents out there do. If your kid got a good report card, do they get something special for it? We always did this with our oldest and now do it with our youngest. One of my in laws says we are bribing the kids, I call it rewarding them.

Also, do you have a general standard of what a good report card is or does it change from year to year or from child to child?

Interested to hear what others think
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Comments

  • daver
    daver
    I told da boy good job, and told him that he deserved a cookie.

    image

    I'm not averse to cash for grades, although I would prefer to see a different motivation. They say not to bribe yer kids with candy, because it sets the stage for eating disorders. Would not bribing them with money set them up with, uh, Republican disorders or whatever? But in the absence or other motivation, I would generally view the excellence in education to be obtained preferable to worries about money disorders.

    image
  • drunken revival
    drunken revival
    Straigt A's = Extra Spanking (for the wife, because she does all the child rearing)
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    So? You do or do not reward your kids? Between the jokes and the cat pictures, i got a bit lost, LOL!

    BTW, i thought you said earlier you had 4 kids?
  • carmen
    carmen
    i dont understand paying kids for getting good grades. My sister and I were motivated by the fear of what would happen to our social lives if we DIDN'T get good grades. Good grades were what we got to continue to have freedom...it was mandatory. Poor grades= tutoring, grounding, etc. Kind of like getting paid for normal chores- we had stuff we were required to do (we did the dishes every night, cleaning our rooms, sorting our laundry when we were old enough) and got paid for extra stuff (shoveling the driveway, washing the car) that my parents would have ordinarily done but didn't feel like doing.
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    I don't see it as paying for good grades, i see it as sort of a bonus. kind of like if you did really well on a special project at work, you might get an extra day off or something extra in your paycheck.

    And, yes, in my house at least, there would be penalties for bad grades or failing grades, luckily I have never had to deal with that. We very strongly impress on our kids the need to study and work hard in school and make good grades.
  • carmen
    carmen
    i guess our bonus was a pat on the back and our parents not being pissed?

    At what point do you stop paying? I mean, highschool? College? I went to college with kids whos parents STILL paid them to make good grades because it was "cheaper" than them failing out and wasting all that tuition money...
  • whatchuwant
    whatchuwant
    When I was getting my masters in education, this was required reading:

    Punished By Rewards

    http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227043073&sr=8-2

    Long story short: Good grades should be the reward in and of itself. Rewarding a child for good grades (or good behavior) is like training a dog. They just see the means to an end and may miss the point of the journey of discovery and learning....and the joy and reward of newly gained knowledge.
  • ringrunner
    ringrunner
    I gave them a coupon for 30 cents off a bag of chips
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    Carmen wrote: i guess our bonus was a pat on the back and our parents not being pissed?

    At what point do you stop paying? I mean, highschool? College? I went to college with kids whos parents STILL paid them to make good grades because it was "cheaper" than them failing out and wasting all that tuition money...
    Well, again, can only speak for here, but, no, we did not buy our college age child gifts (that is what we do, the kid gets a gift, not money, not cash), for getting good grades. Good grades were what was expected of him to stay in school and continue to get his scholarships.
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    ringrunner wrote: I gave them a coupon for 30 cents off a bag of chips
    Come on! Gave them a coupon?
  • MOD
    MOD
    How about some fun quality time with family or Dad? Take the kid out somewhere as a treat. Make it educational as a bonus. Natural History Museum or Bronx Zoo.
  • ringrunner
    ringrunner
    LongTimeSloper wrote: [quote=ringrunner]I gave them a coupon for 30 cents off a bag of chips
    Come on! Gave them a coupon?

    i got twins, things are tight
  • scarlett
    scarlett
    My custodial parent thought the grades were reward enough. Non custodial parent gave us - I mean me cuz I was a school nerd - money. best of both worlds!
  • anastasia beaverhausen
    anastasia beaverhausen
    I was rewarded with not being beaten.
  • carmen
    carmen
    Mamacita wrote: How about some fun quality time with family or Dad? Take the kid out somewhere as a treat. Make it educational as a bonus. Natural History Museum or Bronx Zoo.

    Yeah if we did something really good (like get a good grade on a test after studying a lot or something) sometimes we'd get a mom-date where we'd get to go out alone with our mom and get icecream and go to the park or something. I gues the difference is that this was never promised or mentioned ahead of time, it was just a nice surprise if we were working hard and our parents knew it.
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    ringrunner wrote: [quote=LongTimeSloper][quote=ringrunner]I gave them a coupon for 30 cents off a bag of chips
    Come on! Gave them a coupon?

    i got twins, things are tight

    Do they have to split the bag?
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    Carmen wrote: [quote=Mamacita]How about some fun quality time with family or Dad? Take the kid out somewhere as a treat. Make it educational as a bonus. Natural History Museum or Bronx Zoo.

    Yeah if we did something really good (like get a good grade on a test after studying a lot or something) sometimes we'd get a mom-date where we'd get to go out alone with our mom and get icecream and go to the park or something. I gues the difference is that this was never promised or mentioned ahead of time, it was just a nice surprise if we were working hard and our parents knew it.

    I like that idea, though, we always take the kids out to places like that, maybe a movie though.

    And, even though I will buy the kids a treat for getting a good report card, this is not something that is talked about throughout the year. it's not like we walk around saying "get a good report card and you will get something" We say " do well in school so you can get good grades and go to a good college and make a good living one day". The reward is always a surprise. it's not something talked about nor asked for in any way.
  • ringrunner
    ringrunner
    LongTimeSloper wrote: [quote=ringrunner][quote=LongTimeSloper][quote=ringrunner]I gave them a coupon for 30 cents off a bag of chips
    Come on! Gave them a coupon?

    i got twins, things are tight

    Do they have to split the bag?

    What bag, just a coupon
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    LOL! they have to find the money to actually buy the chips themselves eh? Those poor, poor kids, remind me to tell them how sorry I feel for them tomorrow. LOL
  • whatchuwant
    whatchuwant
    LongTimeSloper wrote: The reward is always a surprise. it's not something talked about nor asked for in any way.
    Is it, though? How many "surprises" have there been? Kids can smell gifts from a mile away. Shit, I STILL smell them from my parents. A kid ALWAYS knows.... :wink:
  • mrslimestone
    mrslimestone
    It definitely depends on the kid. I know many people who got rewarded with money for good grades and it worked wonders all through their childhood and they turned into very productive members of society. Then the siblings in the same family got the same treatment but could care less. Just like adults, not all children are motivated by the same thing so you have to moderate your behavior in tune with what works.

    Only you know your kids. If its working for you, keep it up.
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    Yep, I agree Mrs. Limestone, that is why i asked what other people do and do they tailor it to the individual kid.

    Whatchuwant, his reward for this report card is gonna be meeting you tonight. I hope you will be wearing the outfit in your AV cause he would like that ;)
  • stacey
    stacey
    As a parent I also will give my son a special "treat" for a good report card and I don't believe that is my son's motivator. My son gets good grades because he puts the time and effort into it. That treat can be anything from a new Bionicle (lego), a night at the Chocolate Room or a trip to the bookstore. He also knows that by doing well in school he is allowed outside activities such as sports and music classes, etc.
  • whynot_31
    whynot_31
    LongTimeSloper wrote:

    Whatchuwant, his reward for this report card is gonna be meeting you tonight. I hope you will be wearing the outfit in your AV cause he would like that ;)
    ...I definately didn't get rewarded like that for good grades.

    Who is 16? you or your son?
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    none of my kids are 16, why do you ask?
  • ringrunner
    ringrunner
    Mamacita wrote: How about some fun quality time with family or Dad? Take the kid out somewhere as a treat. Make it educational as a bonus. Natural History Museum or Bronx Zoo.
    Museums... Zoos

    This weekend I went the the Hall of Science in Queens and the Aquarium in Camdent NJ to reward myself. My kids want to watch TV

    Look at my blog www.Chickenunderwear.com
  • longtimesloper
    longtimesloper
    maybe you should just leave those darn PITA kids home next time RR, you go to the zoo alone
  • xlizellx
    xlizellx
    i'm a public school teacher, and i would def. encourage parents to spend time with their kids as the reward rather than give them stuff. they SHOULD be intrinsically motivated, but also being rewarded by doing something as a family should be done. when we were kids we got to pick what we did that friday night - what movie to rent, what food to order, etc. then we spent that time together as a family. $10 an A or a new PSP game doesn't seem to match up for me.
  • testiculon
    testiculon
    I use the good report card as an opportunity to tell my daughter how proud I am to be her Dad. I can tell from her face that that is a huge reward.
  • whynot_31
    whynot_31
    LongTimeSloper wrote: none of my kids are 16, why do you ask?
    nevermind....
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