Dear lying bag of puss,

You anonymously left a note on the door of my apartment yesterday afternoon between 5:30 and 6:00 saying that my dog was yapping hysterically for over two hours. I was only out for thirty minutes, that's how I know quite precisely the time you left it. My dog barks when my neighbor passes with her dog, my dog barks when you ring my doorbell, my dog does not and was not barking for hours on end yesterday as I was not out for nearly that long. Next time don't grossly exaggerate and sign your name so we can discuss it.