hot tea spilled on infant?
I happened to notice a note posted on the bulletin board at my gym about a nanny who spilled hot tea on a 7 week old in front of Starbucks on 7th Ave. The parent was looking for anyone who saw this happen. Has anyone heard anything about this incident. Is the baby OK?
Comments
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baby is home from hospital today, according to the PSP list. 2nd and 3rd degree burns - just awful.
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Is the speculation that this was something other than a bad accident?
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Thank goodness. I was haunted by the thought of this incident.
rbenghiat wrote: baby is home from hospital today, according to the PSP list. 2nd and 3rd degree burns - just awful.
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It was the baby's own nanny (according to PSP). I can't imagine it was anything other than a horrible accident, but I don't actually know any details. The poor baby.
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This is every mommie and daddy's horror and every nanny's horror as well.
I don't even want to know the details of this.
It just seemed odd that the parents wanted witnesses to this incident to contact them. What is that about?
Just praying that this baby will be ok. -
veets wrote: This is every mommie and daddy's horror and every nanny's horror as well.
I thought the same thing. Could also be that someone else knocked/spilled it and didn't acknowledge it or maybe someone who worked there.
I don't even want to know the details of this.
It just seemed odd that the parents wanted witnesses to this incident to contact them. What is that about?
Just praying that this baby will be ok.
I hope the baby is ok -
It sounds like a very bad accident. Everyone involved is probably worried sick about the baby.
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I know I'm going to be totally jumped on for asking this, but what was a SEVEN WEEK OLD baby doing out with a nanny at Starbucks?
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laura wrote: I know I'm going to be totally jumped on for asking this, but what was a SEVEN WEEK OLD baby doing out with a nanny at Starbucks?
That's totally normal. You can take a healthy new baby out of the house right away. Or do you think the baby was too young to be left in the care of a nanny? I really wouldn't want to pass judgment on other people's circumstances, I mean, sometimes people really have to go back to work. Or, since there's an older kid, they probably kept the nanny on to look after the toddler and maybe the nanny took the baby out too to give the mother a break. Who knows, but I really don't see a problem at all with that part of the story. -
Also to add to Rose's comment. Our maternity leave in this country is 6 weeks of disability ( a small percentage of your regular income) unless your company is more generous. A large company has to give you 12 weeks--but this is unpaid. I know a lot of people that had to go back to work at 6 weeks.
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Thanks for the info. What an insane situation.
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I hesitate to even get involved further in this discussion. I am 58 (this sat!!) so, old enough to be the mother of probably 75 % of who posts here but... Gotta tell you.. when My first child was born 35 years ago I was told my my peditrician not to take her outside for 3 weeks. O.k. follow this... because there was no chance I was leaving this child with a Nannny at point.. for many reasons and the prime one I can tell you is in all all truth I was left with a nanny in 1950 and I was not going to do that to my own kid.. yeah it off tracked my career but as time went on and 3 kids in total I figured out how to get back on track.
So yeah on one level it horrifies me that a 7 week old was left in the care of any one but its mother as prime care giver but there is a reality peice of me that says that this mother needed to go back to work (just like my mom did) and she did the best to choose a good, reliable nanny.. and that this incident was an accident. Not end of story.. but the only detail I really am curious about it why the call to arms to find witnesses. I am more than curious to know if the baby is o.k... and above all I pray for that. -
Poor kid...I had a friend growing up who had huge, ugly burns (think Freddy Kruger) covering one entire shoulder and much of her back and her arm.
When she was a toddler, she crawled under the table where a hot tea pot was sitting, and she knocked the whole thing over onto her, while her mother was just a few feet away.
The truth is you simply cannot watch and control everything at all times. I drank bleach from the bottle right in front of my mom, and I would hardly call her neglectful.
I'm sure that if this was an accident the nanny is already feeling terrible. I hope that the parents aren't looking for witnesses to sue if it was a pure accident and nothing else. -
We don't even know if the nanny was the primary caregiver or just watching the baby for the day. We don't know anything about these people and their circumstances. Some people have babies and go right back to work because they have to or want to and it doesn't mean that they are horrible people or that their children will be miserable or turn out badly. Babies who are in the full-time care of their parents every minute of every day also get hurt in terrible accidents.
At various times, I was home with my kids, they were with a nanny, and they were in daycare. There were good and bad aspects to every situation. I know there are people who will never leave their kids with anyone else, even to go out to dinner once in a while, but for me that would have been the road to insanity.
I remember taking my son out when he was one day old and the women in the Korean deli were quite horrified and told me to take him right home.
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Oh Rose... I totally understand the emotion behind your post...
Once you are a mommy.. whatever you do with the kids in relationship to who is the care giver... is wrong!!!
I spend a lot of my time with my 15 month old grandson and though I didnt realize it back when I had a 15 month old ...actually 3 of those at various times ... the mission of a child between the ages of a year old and at least 2 years old is a suicide mission. Their prime directive is to explore their universe with no perception of the dangers that lurk and as a parent your prime mission is to save them from committing suicide.. yeah that sums it up! What a horrifying mission.. And think.. if you need to make a living then you are in the impossible position where you need to hire someone with less ivy league education than you have ( forgive me for being so politically incorrect ) to Take care of your totally innocent infant at 6 weeks old. You go off to work in the morning leaving another person in charge on making sure that this baby thrives or at least gets through the day to see the weary mommy and daddy come home for a cuddle at night.
I can't even follow my own thread of thought any more because trust me if I was that poor mother who had left my babe in the care of someone who I trusted with full good reason and this accident happened I would now be looking at the suicide mission for myself...... propelled by guilt.
Once again.. I just pray this infant will be fine.... and I willnot further respond to this thread.. I think I need to think about all those unworked out feelings I had with ny therapist.. yeah I raised 3 sucessful kida.... but don't I still have something to feel guilty about... LOL!!! -
This is an awful story and on the PSParents post the mom sounded like they are still going through a lot of stress and pain over this accident. I do believe it was the baby's nanny and not some random person. I'm not sure why they are looking for witnesses-- maybe the hospital/police wanted proof it was not intentional abuse?
My husband and I were talking about this this morning. Our daughter broke her arm when she was two and we were saying that it was horrible enough for it to happen when I was watching her (she fell from her highchair) but we would have felt much worse if it had happened while in someone else's care. I hope that baby is okay. -
Yes, I can't imagine the horrible pain and guilt all around, and wishing one could turn back the clock. Hope the baby will be okay.
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quig wrote: Also to add to Rose's comment. Our maternity leave in this country is 6 weeks of disability ( a small percentage of your regular income) unless your company is more generous. A large company has to give you 12 weeks--but this is unpaid. I know a lot of people that had to go back to work at 6 weeks.
Do any companies offer paternity leave?
It's sad that parents must hire servants to raise their children. Why would parents want kids who they cannot spend time with who will grow up to love their nannies more than their own parents? If a newborn has two parents -- a dad and mom or two dads or two moms -- both parents should get a full year off paid. Maybe one parent works in 2012 when the other parent is at home in 2012 and then they switch positions in 2013. -
Flexichick wrote: Poor kid...I had a friend growing up who had huge, ugly burns (think Freddy Kruger) covering one entire shoulder and much of her back and her arm.
Agreed. Sadistic acts of truly psycho nannies are more likely to happen behind closed doors, not in a busy cafe.
When she was a toddler, she crawled under the table where a hot tea pot was sitting, and she knocked the whole thing over onto her, while her mother was just a few feet away.
The truth is you simply cannot watch and control everything at all times. I drank bleach from the bottle right in front of my mom, and I would hardly call her neglectful.
I'm sure that if this was an accident the nanny is already feeling terrible. I hope that the parents aren't looking for witnesses to sue if it was a pure accident and nothing else.
Is it possible that the parents think a Starbucks worker is to blame? -
xueling wrote:
I hope that the family members stick together and do not blame each other. Some things are out of our control.
My husband and I were talking about this this morning. Our daughter broke her arm when she was two and we were saying that it was horrible enough for it to happen when I was watching her (she fell from her highchair) but we would have felt much worse if it had happened while in someone else's care. I hope that baby is okay. -
lawsuits i bet you.
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Do any companies offer paternity leave?
It's sad that parents must hire servants to raise their children. Why would parents want kids who they cannot spend time with who will grow up to love their nannies more than their own parents? If a newborn has two parents -- a dad and mom or two dads or two moms -- both parents should get a full year off paid. Maybe one parent works in 2012 when the other parent is at home in 2012 and then they switch positions in 2013.
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Don't forget our health insurance system. People have to keep their jobs in order to pay for health insurance. My company's insurance costs me an additional $900 a month to cover my family (child).
Kids are smarter than you think. They know the difference between parents and caretakers. That does not mean they can't love both in their own way. -
Obviously employers have to become more family-friendly, but I doubt it would ever be feasible for anyone to take an entire year off and still be considered a valued employee.
Personally I think it's good for people to have both careers and family - full-time motherhood has a lot of drawbacks. But it does seem weird to me to not be able to spend two months with your new baby.
And I know accidents can happen anywhere (I spent my share of time in the ER as a kid, and have the facial scars to prove it), but if a baby isn't even old enough to sit up, much less crawl, it still seems to me that the home is a more controlled environment. Of course you could drop the baby, but it seems unlikely to me that at home you would have hot tea next to the baby. I don't mean to be churlish or callous by appearing to be critical following a tragic incident, but it still seems to me that a 7-week-old + Starbucks = not the best idea. -
quig wrote: Do any companies offer paternity leave?
According to the provisions of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), fathers get the same amount of leave as mothers, should they wish to take it -- 6 weeks at partial pay is mandated for all but small mom-and-pop companies.
Most fathers choose not to take their leave. Perhaps being at home with a newborn rattles them; perhaps they're afraid that they will harm their career (a very realistic fear, alas). One guy at my office made the very unusual move of actually taking his FMLA leave to help his wife with their third child in five years. While he was gone, all sorts of supposedly liberal, liberated women badmouthed him for ditching his job to be with his wife. Jeez, what's a guy to do? They're emotionally distant bums if they don't help with the kids, and pantywaist work-slackers if they do. </hijack>
(My husband took off 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid. I'm sure it didn't help his career, but fuck 'em. They've got their priorities; he's got his.) -
Brooke Lynn Knight wrote: While he was gone, all sorts of supposedly liberal, liberated women badmouthed him for ditching his job to be with his wife. Jeez, what's a guy to do? They're emotionally distant bums if they don't help with the kids, and pantywaist work-slackers if they do
I think it's guaranteed that no matter what road you take as a parent, somebody will give you shit for it ... -
laura wrote:
Yes, well, this thread is a good example of that. No matter what you do, someone is judging you for it.
I think it's guaranteed that no matter what road you take as a parent, somebody will give you shit for it ... -
Rose wrote: [quote=laura]
Yes, well, this thread is a good example of that. No matter what you do, someone is judging you for it.
I think it's guaranteed that no matter what road you take as a parent, somebody will give you shit for it ...
Yes, and I'm well aware that I'm being judgmental. -
if i had a kid, i'll love to stay home with them/
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I bet you would be a fun dad.
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Brooke Lynn Knight wrote: [quote=quig]Do any companies offer paternity leave?
According to the provisions of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), fathers get the same amount of leave as mothers, should they wish to take it -- 6 weeks at partial pay is mandated for all but small mom-and-pop companies.
Most fathers choose not to take their leave. Perhaps being at home with a newborn rattles them; perhaps they're afraid that they will harm their career (a very realistic fear, alas). One guy at my office made the very unusual move of actually taking his FMLA leave to help his wife with their third child in five years. While he was gone, all sorts of supposedly liberal, liberated women badmouthed him for ditching his job to be with his wife. Jeez, what's a guy to do? They're emotionally distant bums if they don't help with the kids, and pantywaist work-slackers if they do. </hijack>
(My husband took off 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid. I'm sure it didn't help his career, but fuck 'em. They've got their priorities; he's got his.)
Actually your husband was very lucky. The 6 weeks paid is not mandated for fathers. only the 12 weeks upaid unless you can use sick days and vacation days. FMLA only covers companys w/ more than 50 employees, so not just mom and pops are exempt.
The only paid time required is disability for the mother, anthing additional is unpaid unless your company is more generous.
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